


Life Through Verdant Eyes

by Hysteria_Wisteria



Series: Operation: Butterfly Effect [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Kizashi, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Blood, Canon is fucked, Child Abuse, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I have no idea where this is going, OC needs a hug and some alcohol, Oc is so done with life, Sakura swears a lot, This Is STUPID, Torture, Why Did I Write This?, a lot of swearing, and cookies, no beta we die like women, send help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2020-06-26 02:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 55,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hysteria_Wisteria/pseuds/Hysteria_Wisteria
Summary: Green eyes stare at the group with boredom. Sighing, she holds up one hand as the other rests on her hip. She brings up her index finger. "First off, my name is Haruno Sakura. Not pink-freak," she pauses to rotate her wrist. Bringing down her index finger as her middle finger comes up, "Bitch." [SI-Sakura] [Full Summary Inside]





	1. Disclaimer / Full Summary

**Author's Note:**

> Like eight chapters are already done so I'm just posting them all at once
> 
> Is this a good idea? Maybe, maybe not.

****

DISCLAIMER

****

****  


I do not own _Naruto_ or any of the characters. Any changes from the anime/manga made by me I do own, I guess. And the plot of this story

You know how this works, I'm sure.

On with the story!

****

• ʕ •ᴥ• ʔ •

****

****  


****

Life Through Verdant Eyes: Full Summary

****

****  


Green eyes stared at the group with boredom. Sighing, she holds up one hand as the other rests on her hip. She brings up her index finger. "First off, my name is Haruno Sakura. Not pink-freak," she pauses to rotate her wrist. Bringing down her index finger as her middle finger comes up, "Bitch." [SI-Sakura] [Full Summary Inside]

What happens when a thirty-something year old woman that works for mobs and gangs dies only to be told that she's going to live a new life again? Especially when said women finds herself as one of the main characters to a show she watched out of boredom. The one character she could never stand.

****

• ಠ_ಠ •

****

****  


"Pink fucking hair? Are you shitting me right now? As soon as I can, I'm shaving this shit right off."

"Why are my eyes so fucking bright? What the hell? This makes no sense. I literally have no hope in my life anymore. I'm dead inside. I shouldn't look so innocent and naive!"

****

• ಥ_ಥ •

****

****  



	2. Prologue

It was dark, cold, damp, and smelled like mold.

I looked around at the walls on either side of me. The only light came from my phone flashlight. My boots clicked against the concrete floor, combining with the sound of my humming. The only sounds in this silent hall. One of my co-workers had said that this is where I would be able to find her, Jessica Ryans. The biggest mob boss in this country. I found her name repulsive. It suited her then, with the work she does. Though, for a girl with a bitchy name, I don't know why the _sewers_ would be her place. She sounded like someone that likes nice things. Not mold and mice. I shrugged slightly to myself, I wasn't one to judge. I'm just here on business, not to criticize her preferences.

I reached the end of the hall to face a clean steel door. The only other thing clean in this sewer was maybe the floor beneath my feet, and that's saying something. I knocked twice, paused, knocked three times, paused again, and finished with a rapid five knocks with a slight pause from two and one and then the remaining three. The passwords and other shit moss bosses come up with are just stupid. I mean, the police will instantly assume there's a password and try to figure out what it is when it's just a simple fucking knock! I think that's a better way to go about it, but who was I to know? I stepped back and watched as the door slowly opened. Two eyes stared at me from the cracked opening. Annoyed, I flashed the light from my phone in front of them.

They flinched back, blinking rapidly. I laughed quietly to myself. Never gets old. The guy glared at me before reluctantly opening the door wider. I pushed past him without a glance. My black eyebrow rose when I took in the interior. It was like a fucking palace. I knew Jessica couldn't possibly be one for anything less than royalty. It's not bad. The guy closes the door behind me while I look around. He grunts and motions me to follow him. I roll my dark brown eyes but comply. The halls were even more confusing here than the sewers. It reminded me of the lairs, or labs, of the one villain from this one show I watched when bored. My thoughts were closed off when I come face to face - or, really, face to metal - with a royal blue colored door.

This girl sure does like royalty related things. The guy was about to knock but I shoved him away with one hand. He sputtered and lost balance. He looked up at me with a glare from where he sat on the floor. I looked to him impatiently, slowly raising my foot while sticking my hand out. As I flicked him off, I maintained eye contact and kicked down the door. I don't have time for these fucker's passcodes and shit. His eyes widen at my brute strength, paling as I smirked. I looked away, never dropping my hand. Walking into the office like room, I scanned over everything, committing it to memory before I looked to the center. My dark brown eyes clashes with furious green eyes. My nose scrunched up. Ugh, green. I could just puke. My brow twitches as I spot her obviously dyed ombré pink hair. The color repulses me. I wanna just shave it off. My humming cuts off instantly with my bad mood.

"Yo," I call out casually, finally dropping my arm and lifting the other in a slight wave. I tilt my head innocently, "You the bitch named Jessica Ryans?"

I can see the rage in her eyes, until a flicker of recognition passes through them. She frowns suddenly and slumps back in the chair. "Ah, so it's you. Jake warned me of your...potty mouth," she says in disdain. Me too sister, me too. Jake is the fucking worst, self-centered little motherfucker. I hate him too.

I nod to her, confirming her statement. She sighs and rolls her eyes. She waves off her guards, sitting straight when the door is closed after being put on its hinges again. She motions to the seat in front of her. I sit down unladylike, not paying attention to the clear disgust on her face. She sighs and pushes the papers on her desk towards me. I take them while reading them over. Same old, same old. Stupid contract about not betraying her and shit like that. I still don't see the reasons behind this. But, I've signed so many not to care anymore. I kept to my word, always. I signed without a care and tossed them lightly to her. She glared and I looked on boredly.

"Can we hurry up? I'm hungry and I've heard that there's this really great burger place downtown that closes in like an hour," I say while leaning forward. She snarls but nods.

The whole deal I was sent there for, took over an entire hour. The burger place fucking closed. I made sure to point that out too while leaving. Of course, I gave her my signature goodbye.

Two middle fingers high in the air, along with a, "See ya bitch!" With guys I say motherfucker.  
More than annoyed that I couldn't try out the new burger place, I glared at the air in front of me while taking the long way back to my hotel. It was winter so the air was cold and with each breath, a puff of white could be seen. I was swearing under my breath, not really paying attention when a kid ran into me. I was already annoyed and my mood was beyond bad — because one simply does not keep me away from food and the crunching sound of snow beneath my boots didn't help — but I never could figure out why I instantly calmed down when I saw a child. I sighed and helped the boy out of the snow. I patted it off his big blue jacket lightly. He looked up surprised. Kinda like he expected a yelling or a hit. Then I noticed his black eye and bruises along his jaw.

"Hey kid," I said softly, not wanting to startle him, "Why are you so beat up?" Okay, so maybe I could have been nicer about it but sugarcoating and speaking subtly was never something I was good at. Been told perhaps a thousand times that my bluntness will get me killed. I hoped it didn't, I wanted to go out with a bang! And, because it'd be funny proving them all wrong on how I'll be killed.

That's another thing, it's always about _being_ killed. Never about, just, ya know, _dying_. 

The boy looks away and stays silent. I stare at him waiting. I had nothing better to do and was quite bored so I could hang around. Noticing that I wasn't leaving and was not about to change the subject, he sighs softly before stuttering out an answer. "I-it was j-just some b-bullies. N-nothing n-new. I'm u-used to i-it," he said. My eyes narrow.

"That isn't something to be used to," I say making him flinch slightly, "Where are your parents? Have you told them?" His expression falls. With a dead voice he answered, "What do they care? All they do is beat me half to death." I glare down at the snow between us. I look over the kid in front of me. Now only noticing the shorts and sandals he wore, along with the bandage wrapped around his legs. I nodded to myself and grabbed the kid by the hand. I turned to walk. He let out a yelp in surprise.

"W-where are you t-taking me?" He asks fearfully. I glare more heatedly at the falling snow in front of me.

"To some people that will take care of you. _Actually_ take care of you. They'll give you a home and some food and a job too," I replied. Now, taking a kid of only about ten years old to a mob boss probably isn't the best thing. But it's certainly better than some orphanage. I would know from personal experience.

It took only half an hour to make it back to Jessica's place. I had walked past the angry guards pulling the boy along with me. I kicked down the office door again without care and walked in as Jessica looked up glaring. Then she saw the boy. Her expression curious, still angry, but curious. She looks to me for an explanation and I sigh tiredly. God, why do I have such a soft spot for kids? How many times have I done this? Over thirty times now? Taking children out of bad places and handing them over to the mob bosses I trusted enough to give them a child.

I push him in front of me lightly. "Abusive parents," it was all I needed to say. Her expression darkened before she nodded to me. She looks over the boy with a critical eye. She nods slightly. Before she can talk, I speak up again. "Bullied too. It's why his face is all black and blue. And you know what else he fucking told me? That he's fucking _used_ to it. Can you believe that shit?" I scoff while glaring to the side.

"I understand. I'll take him in. You don't need to worry," she says. I nod to her gratefully. I turn back to the child that is staring at us with wide eyes. I smile a little and pat his head. "See? Told you I'd take you some people that will take care of you. Sorry for barging in, I'll be on my way now," I say to Jessica before turning and leaving. I don't glance back as I exit the place. I continue walking even as the sky darkens.

I keep going even after I've passed my hotel. I walk without knowing, humming under my breath. My thoughts too caught up in the memories; in the past. My feet going on autopilot while I stare blankly ahead. Not really looking at anything or seeing anything. Guess it's my fault then. I always did want to go out in a bang. I just didn't think that 'bang' could be from a eighteen-wheeler. How'd I even get on the highway? Ah, it doesn't matter now. I'm dead, or dying at least. And I fully expect to go to hell. With everything I've done? I'm definitely going to Hell. Hm, maybe Satan will even let me help him rule the underworld. That'd be fun. I wonder what it'd be like, in hell I mean. Will I be tortured? Rotting in a cell? Burning in a fire? Be made into soup? Damn, now I'm hungry. Can I even be hungry? I mean, I'm dead, or well, dying. Really wished I could have tried that burger place though before I die.

I pay no attention to the panicking men above me. I can't hear them. My vision blurry and my ears were ringing. My body is numb, but I can faintly feel the broken bones beneath my skin. I can feel the rib bone stabbed in my right lung. I don't even try to hold on to life. What's the point? If I'm submitted to the hospital and the cops get involved, I'll just be arrested after they figure out who I am. I laugh weakly as blood flows out of my mouth.

I never thought that I, Anna Hethingway, would die from a car at just the age of thirty-three. I never thought that I, a person feared and respected by the darkside of the world, would die like this. I honestly thought that one of the thousands of gangs and mob bosses I've encountered would send an assassin to finish me. Ah, now I'll be a laughing stock. Hit by a eighteen-wheeler? How pathetic.

The sounds of sleep was so tempting. I closed my heavy eyelids and let darkness wash over me while smiling. Looks like this is the end of Anna Hethingway. I had a good run while it lasted.


	3. Excuse me?

Death. The thing that just happened to me. I am dead. I have died. I know this. I acknowledge this. I _expected_ to be greeted by Satan and fire. I _expected_ to be tortured until I can convince Satan to let me help him rule. What I did _not_ expect was the endless black void of absolute nothingness. I couldn't even see my body, if I had one. There is no time in death but, I'm pretty sure it's been over a couple of hours. So I have some questions, what the hell? Where the hell? If this is the purgatory, I much rather take being made into soup, thank you very much. I do not want whatever shit this is. It isn't anything near tormenting! I need to have a talk with Satan when I can.

Maybe, this is like the waiting room? Does afterlife have a waiting room? A lot of people do die every day, it'd be stressful I imagine. But what the fuck is taking so long? I should've been sent straight to Hell! What reason is there for me to be on the waiting list?! This is bullshit. I would yell it out too, if I could, seeing how I have no fucking mouth! I am pissed with my situation but I can't fucking do anything!, because I don't know what the fuck is going on! I hate not knowing.

Another reason why I'm so pissed. How long has it been? In this darkness? It's oddly comforting but still, I can't stay here for eternity — no, I _refuse_ to stay in this shithole for eternity. That's when I see a blinding light. It was white light too. I hate the color white but also love it. I hate it because it's so fucking plain and boring. I love it because I can literally do anything to cover it. The light blinds me for a moment but when I opened my eyes, I want to die all over again. This isn't Hell and this isn't Heaven. It's a fucking courtroom. I see two people sitting behind the desk in front of me. The stands to the sides of me were filled with others. I'm in the middle sitting in a low chair by myself.

I take in a deep breath, closing my eyes. I stretch out my body without making too much movement to draw attention. I open my eyes again. "What the fuck is this?" The room fell silent. Good, I have their attention. "What the hell is going on?" I asked ignoring the judging stares I was receiving. I would flick them off but I want to know what I'm getting into before I do.

One of the two people sitting at the desk in front of me — the one to my right — cleared their throat. Now that I look at them, they both look to be male. One in a white and gray suit, the other in a black and red suit. The white one spoke after clearing his throat again. He smiled. My middle finger twitched. "Anna Hethingway," He questions lightly and I nod in confirmation. "You are here to be judged. This is how it's decided whether you will move on to Heaven or to Hell, as you mortals call our homes," the man continues. He makes me feel stupid so I don't like him already.

"There's no need for that," I speak before the guy can continue. Apparently, interrupting isn't a good thing because the stares just got judge-y-er _(is that a word? Pretty sure it's not, but I'm dead so what do I care?)_. I'm pretty sure I can hear someone writing this all down. Though, this doesn't concern me seeing how I'm going to Hell regardless.

"Why do you say so, Hethingway?" The other guy in a black and red suit asks. I can tell he's amused. My middle finger twitched again. I really don't want to explain since I feel really tired. I messaged my head and let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Because I'm going to Hell obviously," I reply, bored. They chuckle. Fucking chuckled. Assholes. What the fuck is so funny? I raise an eyebrow at them in question not wanting to talk.

"You'd be surprised," the one in the black suit starts. "That you won't be going to either," the white suit one finishes. They smiled or well, smirked in one's case. My expression went blank as I slowly closed my eyes. Why the fuck am I so tired? Was I drugged?

"Excuse me?" I ask confused and angry that I can't accomplish my dream. "Why the fuck not?"

"You are neither good or bad. You're quite equal in points for each. All the way to the last decimal. Which is why you're here instead one of the two," the one obviously from Hell explains. Heaven-Guy rolls his eyes. "You're stuck in limbo basically," he supplies before hell-guy can say anything more.  
"Okay," I say warily. "What happens to those stuck in limbo?"

Heaven-Guy smiles brightly making me cringe inside. Kids are cute when they do that shit but adults?, get them the fuck away from me. "Well, usually you'd get different choices based on how many points you have," he explains. I wait for him to continue seeing how the 'you choose' thing isn't going to play out for me. "But, a choice has already been made for you by both parties," his smile twitches under my glare.

"And what's the choice that has already been chosen for me?" I question threateningly.

Hell-Guy smirks at me making me shift my glare to him. "It's simple, really. You'll be going back," he says vaguely.

"So I'll be a zombie? I can work with that. Start my own empire. Okay, okay," I say nodding to myself. I don't really care at this point. Why should I? I'll just have to live another life until I'm dead _(which as a zombie is quite hard)_ to complete my dream. It's fine. It's great. Yay. Note the fucking sarcasm.

They both laugh and I roll my eyes while yawning. Why am I so fucking tired? Was I seriously drugged? Damn. "No, no. You won't be coming back from the dead like _that_. You'll just be living life again," Heaven-Guy explains just as vague.

"Will I be living my life again or is this some reborn type of shit?" I question irritated that I was not getting a straight answer. They grin. Which is just creepy because they are grown men and it makes them look like pedophiles.

"You'll be reborn but," he starts while Hell-Guy finishes, "To make this more entertaining you'll keep your memories."

I close my eyes and let out a long breath through my nose. They can't just do that. Think of the parents! Their child born with the mind of a woman over thirty. They won't get to experience raising a child like that, especially if I'm being reborn as the oldest and first child. That's just unfair to them. And to me. I mean, what if I am born to a family that doesn't speak English? I am not about to go through the process of learning how to speak, read, and write again. And the culture? Traditions? Family businesses? Class in power? What if I'm born to the wealthy? Or the poor? Or to criminals _(which wouldn't be too bad, I mean, I was one in the first life in a way)_. How will I be expected to act? And what about a nice little middle-class family? Would I need to be sweet and cute?

But, then again, this is a new life. A new name. A new beginning. A new me. Anna Hethingway died by a truck. She is no more. I am her. But when I'm reborn, I won't be her anymore. This is quite troubling. I can't exactly do a whole personality change as if it's the flick of a switch. I can't change how I am. How I think. How I do things. How I view life. I can't change that.

But I can try. It's always been said that trying your best is better than not trying at all. Even if you just know what the results will be. And I _know_ that I can't change who I am. I'm technically a soul right now and my soul is and always will be Anna. I know I can change with new surroundings in this next life. Maybe. Possibly. Ehhh. Depends.

This is really fucking messed up either way. I open my eyes to see the two men smiling softly at me, almost like they read my thought process which I wouldn't be surprised if they did. I twitch and my nose scrunches up. I let out another sigh before sitting up straight. Well, at least I know how death will be. There goes my self-preservation for the new life. I wave my hand in the air in a dismissing motion of sorts. "Okay okay. Let's get this over with. Anything else I should know?" I ask while standing up and stretching. They turn to look at each other, sharing a conversation with their eyes _(or mind. I wouldn't know)_. 

"No, that's all," they say together. They're keeping something from me, I know it. Instead of calling them out on their bullshit, I nod and place my hand on my hip waiting for something to happen. My vision starts to go black and I let it happen. I really just want to sleep. "Good luck," I hear them both say before all I see is complete darkness.

It was like the darkness before arriving in the court with the representatives of Heaven and Hell. I just floated in darkness. Didn't have any limbs. Didn't have any concept of time. Didn't have anything to entertain me. I wonder if I'm in the womb? I didn't think I'd be starting from here when it came to rebirth. The space I was in was comforting but increasingly boring. I don't know if babies in wombs can really sleep. I never liked to be left to my thoughts. They wander to the dark parts.

So I began to count. Count the seconds and minutes and hours and days. I didn't know if my counting was correct with the timing outside. I highly doubt it is. But I didn't care. I needed something to occupy my mind. As I counted, a small thought came to me. My counting continued in the back of my mind while I pondered the thought.

What if I'm born as a twin? Triplet? That'd be better for the parents if this is their first child(ren). They could get the experiences of raising a child without me ruining it for them. In a way, I'm like a spare. That's okay. What if I'm born the oldest? Simple. I'd kill for my younger siblings. It's not like I haven't killed before for children and jobs so I won't be fazed. But then there the parents...ah, well, they should've known I was an odd child. What if...I'm born to a big family?

[ _Ignored. Burden. Worthless. Unneeded. Not wanted. Too many. No one cares. Who would? The Youngest. Weak. Annoying. Wish you never existed. You're in the way. Crybaby._ ]

I stamp down the memories of my first family to the ground and burn them. I won't need them in my new life. I don't need the pain they brought. I just need the lessons they taught.

I began to think over my new appearance in this new life. Would I have black hair again? Or blonde? What if I'm a redhead? Ginger? They are two different things, trust me. I've offended enough people to know. What about eye color? Blue? Brown? Green? Or maybe even have heterochromia! That would be cool.

I wonder what jobs my parents have. Are the wealthy? Middle class? Poor? What about where I am in the world? Middle America? Hope not. Canada? That'd be okay. Europe? Cool. Alaska? At least I'd finally learn to ice skate if so.

As I thought over all the possibilities of my new life. I was vaguely aware of the counting in the back of my mind. I was vaguely aware of how much time passed. Too wrapped up in the possibilities. Of what could happen, good or bad. How I would handle situations that are likely to never happen. So I was vaguely aware, of how much I was growing.

I didn't know I had any limbs or that I grew until the comfortable dark space seemed to grow small around me. I had become restless _(I found that I could sleep after exhausting my mind from thinking)_ with the information. So I moved unconsciously. And I hit a wall. A wet and warm wall. With my foot. I have a foot. It startled me greatly that I kicked again.

There was pressure from where I kicked. Like someone was touching the outside of my walls. I didn't process the fact that I had limbs again for some time. I checked in with my timer at the back of my mind. I kicked again in surprise. Was I seriously sleeping and thinking for about four and a half months? Shit man. If I kept this up, I'd be born in no time. I was brought out of my musings when I heard what sounded like noise. Maybe. I don't know. I mean, I heard _something_. My ears are still developing.

The noise I heard kinda sounds like a voice. I think. Is that singing? Music? Is that my new mother? Or a CD? A concert maybe? No. Why would a pregnant woman go to a concert? That isn't wise. So a CD or my new mother. If there's music I don't think it could be her, or is my new father a musician? That'd be cool. I always wanted to learn how to play an instrument. Singing is cool and all, but actually playing along while singing is better. I never had the time to learn, unfortunately.

[ _Alone. Alleyway. Only six. Crying. Mumbles. Hiccups. Singing._ Calm down calm down calm downcalmdowncalmdown- ]

There was another pressure on my walls but this one was bigger. A man, definitely. Is it my new father? What if it's someone else!? Is mother okay!? No, calm down. Everything is going to be fine. God, I'm such a fucking child. I'm over thirty for hell's sake! Tentatively, I kicked where the pressure was. Nothing happened but I oddly felt happy. Are these my mom's hormones? Doesn't matter. If it is, nice to know she's happy.

There were smooth circular motions on the walls that surrounded me. I fell asleep to them with a smile for what seemed like the first time. I wonder how much time would have past next I wake up?  
About five months. That's how much. Can you fucking believe that? I'm finally gonna be born! This is sort of exciting but also worrying. There are so many things that can go wrong. What if my mother dies while I live? And then dad turns alcoholic and blames me! And then I get abused and sold! 

Though I'm sure I can survive if that happened, my child body wouldn't be strong enough. Or what if both my parents are abusive? What if they hoped for a boy?, but I disappoint them by being a girl? Oh hell no...what if I'm born as a boy!?

I began cursing at every god there is if they so much as let me be born as a boy. Apparently, they heard me and wanted me to shut the fuck up. The once comfortable walls pushed against me. I panicked, naturally, because who the fuck wouldn't? Then I calmed down when I realized, holy shit I'm actually being fucking born! I couldn't dwell in that thought for long as I began to _move_.

The walls pushing me towards the exit. The shifting of my body to make sure I come head first out. In a way, it seemed to be the comforting darkness' friendly way of saying, "Get the fuck out bitch, bye." I complied, as much as I could with having absolutely no motor skills. My head felt like it was reshaping to fit the exit. It was the weirdest feeling I've ever felt. When I seemed to finally exit, I felt naked and cold. Well, no fucking duh Anna. You were just fucking born.

The cold was uncomfortable and I shivered. I didn't make a sound upon finally being born which I know isn't really a good thing in the doctor's eyes. I should have cried when I could. Instead, I felt my baby bottom get slapped. Can you fucking believe that pedophilia? And in front of my parents! I cried out in pain and anger. My new body did not have the pain tolerance I did before. Then I was wrapped in a warm blanket. If this is their way of apologizing, they're not forgiven. I felt myself being passed around until I stopped in a woman's arms. She felt familiar. Must be my new mother then.

With the butchered hearing I have, I tried to figure out where I was born by the language. I couldn't catch much. Though, it soundly vaguely like Japanese? I tried to pry my eyes open. A difficult task let me tell you. I have almost no control over my body. When I did open my eyes though, everything was super blurry. I looked to see my mother. All I saw was a blonde blob of color and some green in the middle. So, blonde and green eyes? I wonder if I'll have her hair? What if I get my father's features but my mother's structure?

A bigger blur appeared to the side. It was a man, I recognized. He seemed to wrap an arm around mother. Was this my father? He was a magenta blur with two small blue blurs. Heh, they kinda remind me of the parents of this one anime character. Weird. Ah, they're talking now. I can't fucking understand them! Damn it. I'm gonna have to learn a whole new fucking language and how to read and write and just...ugh!

"...Haruno..." I faintly heard. Is that a name? It sounds so familiar too. "...Sakura..." Now isn't that funny. They said the name of the pink freak from that one anime I watched. Weird.  
"Haruno Sakura." They said it again. They're looking at me. Oh. Oh please no. Please don't tell me...  
"Sakura," My mother coos down at me.

No.

Nuh-uh.

Nope.

Please, no.

I wanted hell! Not this! I didn't think I could face this kind of hell! Fuck!

I don't want to be reborn as the pink freak from Naruto! Fuck you Heaven and Hell Representatives in suits! Fuck you!


	4. Why?

I was a bad person. I did bad things. I know and acknowledge that. I asked for Hell and I got it. Formally known as Anna Hethingway in my first life, I am now known as Sakura Haruno in this life. At first, I was in denial. I chalked it up to my parents being huge fans that they changed their appearance and names and decided to name their first child after one of the characters. As long as a shot it was, I was desperate. I didn't want to believe I was reborn as fucking Sakura from the anime Naruto. So I didn't believe it till I got solid proof.

During my denial, I played my part of a mindless newborn as best as I could for my new parents _(who's names are Mebuki and Kizashi like from the anime..)_. Though, I did some things different from a normal baby. I let my parents sleep a full eight hours. I didn't cry as much or scream. I fell asleep without a hustle. I laughed at inappropriate times _(hey! Dad hitting his toe against the coffee table_ is too _funny!)_. I did struggle during feeding and changing the diaper. The humiliation! Can't wait till I can walk to go to the restroom.

Of course, I wasn't awake the whole time. I found out that there would be periods that I was conscious of my surroundings. Other times that I'm not conscious, time had passed. I didn't question it much, seeing how it passed time much faster for me. When I was conscious though, I listened intently to my parents' words. I needed to learn this new language. I fucking hate it when I can't understand what is being said to me. It took time to get the basics down, and I mean five months long.

I was officially five months old and teething when I first left my neighborhood. We had walked through the marketplace. Occasionally stopping when my parents talked with a friend. That just got me a lot of attention that I was not fond of. I was pouting and glaring after the first five people. I tried to bite when people reached to touch my pink hair. Can you fucking believe that I have fucking pink hair!? I was really hoping for blonde like mother, but fuck no, I got fucking pink. This truly is my hell.

I could only really see what was behind Mebuki with the way she carried me. Then I felt my mother come to a stop right away. She bowed and brought me down with her. I yelped out in surprise. Why was she fucking bowing? She stood straight while adjusting the way she held me. I could now see what's in front of her. I blinked and looked up to her. I looked around when she didn't look back at me. I'm really regretting getting excited over leaving the neighborhood. What I saw made me want to cry. There was a huge cliff side with four faces carved on it. I hoped for it to be Mount Rushmore when I first saw the outline but then I saw it clearly. It was the faces of the four Hokages. And the whole reason Mother bowed was standing near me. It was fucking Minato. The Fourth fucking Hokage and father of Naruto Uzamaki, the main character.

It was probably a bad thing to burst out in tears and screaming, especially in front of the Hokage. I had never really cried after my first month of a new life. I only screamed when I found necessary and I didn't even scream that loud. No wonder my parents panicked. I had gotten the attention of the whole street. I could vaguely see Minato panic through my blurry vision. He was trying to cheer me up but each time I saw him reminded me of my problem so I would cry some more. I kinda feel bad for embarrassing my parents like that. My parents had to take me back home before I could stop my crying. I believe they thought that going outside for too long was the problem. They didn't take me outside again until another week. I didn't see anybody else I recognized from the show, so I was relatively calm. Mother would take me outside a lot more since that. Then there were the days I saw the Hokage and his wife.

I don't think it took too long for my parents to get that I only cried when I saw the Hokage. I would always see Minato get depressed as his wife laughed at him. I probably hurt his feelings. Ah whatever. I'm the one who's in a fucking anime as one of the fucking main characters. Fuck you too gods! I fucking asked for Hell and this is my hell in heaven. Smartasses. And there was another reason to cry. Kushina was fucking pregnant. Well, of course she is duh. But! Her due date is so close. The Kyuubi Attack. I know that Sakura grows up with her parents, she lives a normal life that anyone would want. And that's the thing. I'm not Sakura. Well, I am, but I'm not. This is too fucking confusing. Either way, the day I was born, canon was fucked up.

So I guess it's my fault really. I should have expected it. I shouldn't have had hopeful wishing. Since when did I do that shit? This is fucking reality now! Wake the fuck up Anna! You should have fucking seen this! It's your fault for becoming so stupid! It's your fault that they're dead now! It's my fault. Though, what could I do really? I'm just a woman over thirty stuck in a six month old baby. My motor skills aren't even that good. I need help to change my diaper. I need someone else to feed me. I can't fucking do anything for myself! So why did I think that I could for them?

It was the tenth of October. The day the anime begins. The day that the main character is born and fated to walk a life of hardships, loneliness. I was quiet the whole day, waiting apprehensively for the inevitable. Mother and Father would glance at me worriedly. I've never been this quiet before. I sat on the couch staring outside, watching as the sun set and the moon rose. Mother was about to set me to sleep when the first wave of malicious chakra washed over Konohagakure. I couldn't breath for a few minutes. That was all my mother needed to start yelling for my father. I remember her yelling about the hospital. As my parents began to run out the house to the hospital, an enraged roar sliced through the air.

I can still remember the looks of horror on their faces. I can remember my mother beginning to cry as my father yelled for us to keep running. The whole village was awake by now. Citizens filled the streets as they ran for safety. I remember my parents getting pushed around as they tried to keep with the crowd. I can remember the yelling of the shinobi, the screams and cries. Mother got pushed too hard and tripped into an alleyway. She had turned and took the brunt of the fall. I didn't know where father was. I just knew that the buildings making the alleyway were collapsing. Mother was hyperventilating. She struggled to stand with me in her arms.

When she did stand, the building was already tipping towards us. That's when father came with a look of panic on his face. I knew it was too late. I cursed at every higher being there was for letting my new life end so fucking quickly and for taking my new mother with me. She shouldn't be dying along with me. And she didn't. She died alone. Father had run to us, taking mother by her shoulders and trying to pull us to a run. Mother only pushed me into his arms. He took me carefully and looked to her in confusion. She pushed him away. The building fell and she died as father laid on his back with me in arms. I remember his scream full of anguish.

He had let go of me and I fell to the ground. He crawled to where my mother died. Her arm sticking out from the debris. He was in hysterics. Screaming and crying. I had managed to sit up, pushing the hurt I felt that he dropped me. He stopped his screaming so suddenly that it startled me. I looked up and flinched back. His glare was ice cold and full of hatred instead of love like it usually was. I shouldn't have been surprised. He loved his wife much longer than he loved me. I knew right there, that my life will just repeat itself if we both lived.

I was stuck in shock that I didn't see him walk towards me. I didn't see how his leg pulled back slowly. I just felt the pain of the kick. I didn't scream though. I was too familiar with this type of pain that my immediate response was to bite my lips. I looked up to see his glare again. I can't believe I thought that my new life would be different. Why should it be? I was a bad person. I fucking deserve this. I fucking know that. And if Sakura was to ever live this life, I'm glad I took her place. She would have been a six month old baby girl. No child deserves to go through abuse and so young as well.

I hadn't noticed the now empty streets. Not until another roar shook the village. Kizashi seemed to realize that too. He looked at me for a full minute. He smiled but his eyes still held hatred. He turned and started to run. Leaving me alone and injured on the ground. I didn't blame him. I cursed at him but I didn't blame him. I expected it. As Anna, I lived in a family of too many. My mom had died. My dad blamed me. My family abused me. I was left alone. I picked myself up. I helped myself. I cared for myself. I did it all by myself. Kinda seems like whatever life I live, it'll all be the same. If so, then looks like I should start with picking myself off the ground.

It fucking hurt to try and just sit up. I'm no medic but I'm pretty sure I have some sort of internal bleeding. Kizashi has one hard kick, or I'm just super fucking weak. I think it's both. As soon as I could sit up, I started crawling. I couldn't stay here. I was going to die all over again. Though, I didn't crawl away. I crawled towards my dead mother. As soon as I reached her, I was out of breath. I held to her cold hand. I didn't try to speak or make a sound. I could still hear the screams and cries of the citizens of the village. I didn't care.

Memories of my time with my mother flooded over me. The times she talked to me. Read to me. Played with me. Watched over me as I crawled for the first time. Calming me when I cried. I remember her smile, her laugh, her voice. My favorite moments were when she would sing. Those were always fun. It's nice to have something in common with my mother. I remember, as she would sing, I would be seated in the middle of the table. I was never one to move around making it perfectly safe. She would sing and I was left to the magical drums called the hard-wood-surface-of-the-table.

While I'm not too educated on the new language here, I'm still fluent in English. I would sing the songs I remembered after mother finished. I'm pretty sure she never understood what I said but understood that I was singing. She always called me her little musician.

I'm not sure how long I sat there. I just know that the killing intent had increased in the air. I didn't falter and kept my breathing even. It was when I decided that it was time to move, that I realized I couldn't. My injuries are pretty bad for a baby, yes, but I could push the pain aside. But I couldn't leave my mother alone. I would have stayed there till daybreak if someone didn't find me. I planned on staying there till daybreak. The gods apparently didn't like my shitty plan. A shadow flew by overhead and I twitched. The person stopped, I could feel their gaze on me and I twitched again. They dropped down beside me. I clutched at my mother's hand tighter. I could hear the sharp intake of breath. The person kneeled next to me hesitantly.

I looked up finally to be surprised. Why was he here? Shouldn't he be stuck by some stupid shield the Hokage put up? Or was he on his way just now? How much time has passed then? Fuck I don't know anymore, I was too distracted to keep a mental clock. I looked into his single visible eye and could see the shock, surprise, pity, and recognition in it. How would he know who I am? I never met him before. He would have been busy with missions- that's right, he had a mission monitoring Kushina during her pregnancy. He must have seen me when I screamed at Minato.

His hands carefully grabbed me under the arms. As he picked me up slowly, I finally let go of my mother's hand. He must have felt something wrong when he grabbed me because he seemed panicked. Maybe he felt whatever the fuck is wrong inside my body? How long would it have been till I died of that shit? I should really pay more attention. He held me with an arm under me and the other on my back. I rested my chin on his shoulder looking down at the dead arm of my mother as he turned to take off.

I watched over Kakashi's shoulder as he ran. I watched the fire burn the village. I watched as different shinobi ran looking for more citizens. I watched as some were found dead. I watched as the Kyuubi rampaged on Konohagakure. Then I saw chains wrap around the fox. My eyes widen. It couldn't be that part can it? Then I watched as a poof of smoke disappeared to reveal a giant toad with a blonde on top. I watched while Kakashi had no clue. Then from the distance that I was, I could see as the Kyuubi slashed his claw down before he was sealed. That's when I knew, Minato and Kushina had died.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Naruto will have to go through. I didn't stop thinking about it. He will grow in an environment of hate and fear. He will grow without knowing the love of a parent. Naruto will grow alone with no one to care for him. He will never know the truth of his heritage. Will live in constant confusion. I started to cry silently. I wasn't aware of my surroundings as different scenes came to mind. I didn't realize how much of tight grip I had on Kakashi's shoulder until I felt someone try to take me off.

I looked around to see the symbol of the medics. A nurse was trying to pry me off of Kakashi's shoulder. I let go reluctantly. The nurse sat me on top of her hip and held me with one arm. The other glowed in green as she began to look over my injuries. It must have been really bad if the gasp she let out is any clue. It had caught Kakashi's attention before he left.

He looked over conflicted before asking monotonously, "What is it?" I wanted to know as well. What's so fucking bad that she gasped like that?

The nurse swallowed and took in a breath. "She has internal injures that...that she shouldn't even be alive right now..," she answered shakily. Well damn. I guess the gods really do want me to live this second life. Fuck them.

Kakashi looked at me wide eye. It was quite funny how alarmed they both seem. I smiled at him before laughing. I'm so fucking insane. Saw my mother die, was abused and left to die, and I'm fucking laughing? Wow. I shook off the thought that I almost died _again_ , and focused on what's to happen now. Kizashi is still alive as far as I know so there isn't a chance I'm going to the orphanage. The chances of someone noticing the abuse I'm fated to meet are, unfortunately, slim. This is pretty fucked up.

The nurse quickly finishes healing me as she's called over to help with someone else. She hands me back over to Kakashi who blinks before she took off. I look up at Kakashi, unsure of what to do _(not like I could fucking do anything anyways)_ and he looks at me seeming to have the same thoughts. He must have realized something and took no time to think it over because the next thing I knew, we were running. That's when I realized something. Kushina and Minato are really dead, the Kyuubi was sealed, Kakashi is going to get a shock. I frown when I also realize that it's my fault he gets there late _(he would have been stopped either way)_. I feel like he would react the same way Kizashi did. And I just left the hospital! Damn it.

As he ran, he was careful when he held me. I noticed that his gaze was in one certain direction — where the Kyuubi had been. I ignored the thoughts of my future and the future of the village as I gazed at the destruction. It was dark out, the only light came from the moon and fires. And as a baby, my sight isn't really _that_ great. So, do tell, how the fuck I spotted two people in the fucking shadows? Because I sure as hell don't know. Maybe they're some more shinobi? Are they looking for survivors? What is it with shinobi and the shadows in their own village? Ah fuck, I made eye contact. Should I do something? Fuck it, I'm going to wave.

I don't care if they don't seem like they don't want to be spotted _(shinobi and their paranoia I swear; this is their own village!)_. I lifted my hand and began to wave dramatically with an idiotic smile on my face because I'm feeling suicidal. I really fucked up because I can see the interest in their eyes. I don't like that look. I glared at them and with the half-ass motor skills I got, flicked them both off — all that happened were my hands rising in fists at them like I wanted to start some fist fight.

I'm not sure if they saw or not because Kakashi turned a corner blocking my view. I huffed lightly but kept still. Wouldn't want to cause trouble for him now when he's about to get the shock of his life. I'm not _that_ much of an asshole, especially to children. And don't fucking say he isn't a child. I'm over fucking thirty, anyone under twenty is a child. So, fucking fight me. Well, actually don't, I'm a baby.

Who knew thinking can pass time? Kakashi came to an abrupt stop and I noticed we were in the forest now. Well shit. I struggled to turn around in his hold. He seemed to be in shock since he didn't do anything to stop me. I stopped as soon as I saw what he saw. On a rock pedestal of sorts, laid a blonde newborn boy. On the ground next to it, laid two dead bodies. The parents. Minato and Kushina. I stilled when I saw the Third Hokage standing by. Kakashi was shaking lightly by now. No one seemed to notice us while the medics looked over the bodies.

I patted on Kakashi's chest lightly _(my motor skills have greatly improved - thank the devil - but I still can't get my fingers to work)_. His hold tightened but I didn't make a noise. He looked down to me in slight confusion. I could see the tears building in his eye. Using what skills I had as a six-month-old baby, I patted his cheek in slight comfort. It was all I could do, my goal was to wipe the tears away. He seemed to appreciate it though, I think — it's hard to tell what he's thinking. He swallowed before stepping forward. He was still shaking slightly, I could feel it. Though if you looked, you wouldn't be able to know. I continued to pat him lightly, my gaze on the scene in front of me.

Kakashi steps next to the Third. The old man glanced up at him and I could see the pity in them. Then he glanced at me, eyes filled with confusion. No one seemed like they wanted to talk first. The silence was suffocating along with the tension in the air. I knew that no one was going to talk. So I talked first. Well, in a way. I basically just said my first word. It took a very long time, but I finally got the word down.

I continued to stare at the blood and bodies. My patting didn't let up either. I licked my chap lips before opening my mouth slightly. Apparently, the Third was still watching me, trying to figure out why I was here. So he was the only one that saw me prepare for my first word. I originally wanted to surprise my parents with my first word, get them used to my ways of speaking. I guess that's kicked out the window. Kizashi can get the shock later if he's even alive now.

"Shit," I say quietly.

Hiruzen looks like he's choking on a cough. Kakashi only blinks down at me. I smile at both of them. I wished for better reactions, but that will do. They didn't have enough time to think over my first word as a medic walked over. She carried a newborn blonde in her arms. Hiruzen took the baby into his arms. He nodded to the medic and she left. Turning towards us, he showed us the main character of this world. Naruto Uzumaki.

"Is...that..?" I can hear Kakashi mutter. I looked up at him and then looked back at the blonde. Hiruzen nodded solemnly — he probably knew what type of life the boy will live. If I leaned over, I could probably touch his head _(that is, if Kakashi doesn't let go and let me fall to the dirt)_. He stirred in his sleep. He began to cry, Hiruzen seemed panicked _(didn't this man raise like two kids?)_. Kakashi was wide-eyed and looked to have absolutely no idea what to do.

By now, I was unconsciously patting Kakashi so I used my other hand to lean over. Thankfully, Kakashi has enough sense to, you know, _not_ drop a six-month-old baby that almost died earlier. I patted Naruto's head softly, not wanting to disturb or hurt him. He calmed down after a few pats surprisingly. Hiruzen looked at me curiously. Kakashi watched me with an unreadable expression as his gaze fell on my other hand patting him. The Third cleared his throat softly, making me look up but not stop my form of comforting. It was quite uncomfortable, having my body stretched out.

"Ah, Kakashi? Who's this?" He asked softly. Kakashi straightened, pulling me away from Naruto lightly.  
"Haruno Sakura," his reply was. So he did know me and seemed to have information on me too. Hiruzen blinked in slight surprise.

"Sakura? You mean the baby girl that would scream and cry at the sight of Minato?" He asked curiously with an edge of sadness. Kakashi only nodded as I winced. Maybe I should have been nicer to the man, especially since I knew he was going to die soon.

"How'd you find her?" He questioned next. What is this? A fucking interrogation?

"On my way to help the battle, I found her sitting next to a collapsed building," he said and I could just see the pity in his words.

"She wasn't crushed was she?" The old man asked concerned.

"No, but when I took her to the medics...the nurse said she had internal injuries that should have killed her..." he answered hesitantly. The Third looked at me wide-eyed before smiling in relief.

"That's quite a miracle then. You are one blessed child," he said to me and I snorted while rolling my eyes. He didn't need to tell me that. The gods either fucking hate me or fucking hate me, I think it's a bit of both. Hiruzen blinked at my reaction but didn't question it _(not like he could because I'm a fucking baby)_. 

"It's best we find her parents then-" he stopped when Kakashi looked away. "What is it?"

He looked hesitant but eventually answered, "When I found her...she was holding onto a hand that stuck out under the rubble...her mother is dead."

The old man looked at me sadly, "What of her father?" I glared at the ground as Kakashi answered, "Nowhere near the area. He wasn't with the medics either. I couldn't find him." Wait, Kakashi was looking for Kizashi? Shit. Well, I sure am glad he didn't find him. I didn't want to see that fucker anyways. The man could die alone in a fucking ditch for all I care.

"Let us head back to the Village. We'll look for her father sometime during the week," Hiruzen sighed. He turned around, looking back at the two dead bodies once more before closing his eyes and walking away. Kakashi looked back as well before he followed.

Looks like my life starts now. Fuck. At least I now know I'm really am in the Narutoverse. And I'm an orphan _(hopefully)_. Maybe I can look after the blonde? I always did sympathize with him. He deserves better. And this is a new start, remember? Maybe I can change something about myself and this place. Maybe. Just maybe.

And maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I'm only six months old after all. F. M. L.


	5. No.

The orphange fucking sucks ass. More money should really be invested in this place. The building is small and old. There are few matrons working here. It's dirty as shit. Literally. The fucking toddlers still aren't potty trained. It's only been two days since I've been here too. Kakashi had dropped me off with these strangers as he worked with the village. I sat packed between two other babies that had nothing but a fucking diaper. If it wasn't for the clothing I wore, I would have quickly rolled away and off the bed we sat on. I'm sure I could survive the fall with minimal damage.

It was obvious that the adults were trying to separate us into age groups based on looks. There was one person watching over us babies and toddlers, which I found stupid. Besides being the upmost bored, I stayed silent and just watched how the other children interacted. I didn't have any reason to act as a mindless baby. There wasn't anyone I was doing this for, not any more. Though, that's probably the reason I kept getting weird glances. I didn't cry or babble. I didn't interact with the other children. The watching of the children soon became boring.

My gaze dropped to my chubby hands. I flexed them to the best of my abilities. I want to test the limits of my — still — developing motor skills _(despite the fact they're much better than any_ normal _five month old baby)_. I worked on both hands, not favoring one. If there's one thing I wished to be as Anna, it was to be ambidextrous. It's a very useful skill, especially in this new world. As I flexed and played with my hands, I moved my legs at the same time. I needed to gain some more control over my limbs. As I kicked my legs out with adequate control, I worked with my toes. While flexing my hands, I tried lifting my arms. I must be a very comical sight but I could care less much more than I already do.

As I continued with my movements, my thoughts wandered. I wonder what sort of work the Old Man is going through right now? Is he comforting families? I frown unconsciously at the thought remembering something. Didn't his wife die? She was the one that assisted in the birth and was killed by Obito. Why was no one comforting him?

_He's the Hokage_ , a reply quickly formed itself, _the village comes first._

Bull fucking shit! Was the village first when he was born? Was the village first when he was a child? Was it first when he himself was a human and person at the upmost beginning? When his family and friends were there, before it became about this shit hole? I think fucking not! This is all just fucking stupid and it's giving me a goddamn headache.

I glare at the room around me. I really don't want to be here. Konohagakure may be the "friendliest" of all five villages but it sure is the stupidest. The civilians are stupid. The council is stupid _(fucking Danzō making a fucking child kill his own fucking family)_. The laws of this world are just stupid. Why can't people just sit the fuck down and talk shit out? Is that too hard?

_Yes_ , a part of my brain whispers. I know that it's right. The people of this world are too damn prideful. People need to learn to take a step back and really view themselves and their actions. Most act like children, arguing and keeping grudges over petty things.

I sigh as a nurse enters the room and disrupts my thinking. It's only been over a day but there have been various medics here at the orphanage. From what I can tell, it's to make sure all the children are healthy. Other than that, I think they’re trying to figure out our families. I don't like being around when the medics are here. I already know who my parents are. I already know one is dead and the other missing _(though hopefully dead too)_. 

The medics don't do more than check my health. I'm sure they know that the Hokage knows who my parents are with the information Kakashi gave him. I wonder what he's doing now. Most likely helping repair the buildings and looking for more survivors. The village isn't likely to give any missions outside for maybe a week, so Kakashi should still be in the village.

I wonder of Naruto. Is he in the hospital? Is the Third looking after him? Obviously, it's only been a day. He wouldn't leave Naruto by himself. I wonder if news of him being the nine tails jinchūriki has spread already. The poor boy living a life of hate, fear, and loneliness. Viewed as a weapon for the village by the council. Fucking Danzō.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when I feel myself being picked up. I don't recognize the person. I think it's one of the older orphaned boys. I blink and look around. What the fuck is going on? Why am I being picked up by a stranger? Why the fuck am I being touched by a stranger? Who the fuck is the boy that is carrying me? I'm overwhelmed by the questions that I feel like crying.

The boy notices and begins to panic. He hands me over to someone next to him. Like, what the actual fuck? I look up to see a girl about the boy's age. I don't recognize her either. I don't know what's going on. Why am I being moved? I panic, naturally, and this makes the girl panic. Then she hands me off to someone else.

This is not some game of hot potato! I'm not some object to be passed around!

I look up to see the face of one the matrons. The women scolds the two children briefly for the way they took care of me _(for like two minutes)_. She rolls her eyes at them and tells them to head to their rooms before she walks down the hall, me in arms. I take the time to look around the orphanage some more. Nothing special.

I still don't know why those two children picked me up. You don't simply pick up a baby. Maybe they were tasked to do so? But why me? How would they even know who I am? Do any of the matrons here know my name? Maybe it's my pink hair and green eyes, maybe that's how they know me.

The matron takes me into what I believe is the living room. It's small, but packed with the other matrons and some adults. The only children around are the babies. Wait. Are these parents picking up their children? Already? I thought it'd take another day or so.

That doesn't explain why _I'm_ here. The orphanage sure as hell sucks, but it's better than being with Kizashi. Maybe he died like mother did. At least then he could be with her and I'd consider him my father again _(maybe)_ since _my_ father died when my mother did. Kizashi is not my father, he is someone else despite the name and appearances.

My questions are quickly answered upon hearing a familiar voice.

"Sakura-Chan! My cherry blossom!" I look up to see familiar dull magenta hair and blue eyes. I narrow my green eyes at him. I really wished he had died. At least then I'd know mother wouldn't be lonely and that I could call him father. Guess not.

Kizashi smiles warmly at me. I don't buy it. I can see the coldness in his eyes. He picks up out of the matron's arms. I struggle to the absolute best of my abilities. I am _not_ above screaming and crying. The hold Kizashi has on me tightens in warning. I've been told in my last life that I'm quite stubborn.

I reach for the matron who looks unsure of what to do. Poor woman. I feel for her but at the moment I couldn't care. I wanted _out_. I do not want to be in the same area as this man. I refuse to live a repeat of my last life. This is supposed to be a new start!

Kizashi starts trying to calm me down. He whispers reassurances to me. I fail my arms about. He rocks me back and forth. I kick out with both legs. He begins to pat my head. I shake my head trying to get it off. I barely hear him over my screaming.

"I'll take her to get some fresh air," he smiles at the matron. I only scream louder in protest. I don't want to go anywhere with this man. If only I was older than I could run and hide and actually put up a fight.

Once we're outside and out of earshot and viewing range, he glares at me and holds me upside down by my feet. I shut up immediately, focusing on catching my breath instead now. He scowls at me. I scowl back with a glare that could kill _(if I was much older)_. He jostles me up and down by my feet. I can feel the blood rushing to my head. The bastard.

"Listen carefully, okay my little blossom?" He asks sweetly with a smile. Exactly like before mom died but without any love. "My beautiful and wonderful wife died. And it's all your fault. I believe punishment is in order. I was gonna leave you here to grow an orphan, wondering of your parents for all your life," He continues with a snarl, his lips pulled back and his teeth bared. "But. I thought of something better. Why just emotionally hurt you? When I can also mentally and physically hurt you too?"

He smiles. Taking complete joy in what the future holds for me. For the pain he'll inflict on me. I bared my still-growing-and-barely-there teeth at him. I may not know this language that well, but I sure as hell can speak my native tongue fluently.

" _You motherfucker. If you think you can get away with this, your dead wrong. I live by a saying: you hit me, I hit you back harder. I'm gonna make your life a fucking hell. Prepare yourself bitch_ ," I growl at him in English.

He looks at me in amusement. Finding my struggle funny. I fully prepare to grow out my nails so I can claw his eyes out. I ball my useless hands into fists before trying to get a punch in. He only rolls his eyes before tossing me in the air. I expected him to let me drop to the ground but he surprisingly catches me. I'm held in the crook of his arm.

I look to him in confusion, narrowing my eyes to watch him warily. He notices apparently because he chuckles. "Wouldn't want you to die so soon right? So you'll have to grow up nice and healthy and strong. It would be sad if you met your mother so soon, especially after killing her. Don't you agree?"

Oddly, I can find the logic behind it. If I was too weak, I would more than likely die the first time I'm abused. What confuses me though, is _when_ exactly I'll be 'strong enough' to withstand the abuse. If I had to guess, I'd say when I'm just a year old. Looks like I'll need to hurry the fuck up and learn how to run. Fuck learning how to walk first.

"Don't you worry my cherry blossom," Kizashi speaks up making me return from my thoughts, "I'll give you an entire year of a nice life before I'll need to punish you for your sins." Well shit. When did this become some sort of repentance?

And an entire year? I'll need to start walking by the end of the month. Maybe I can get him to take me around the village more? I'd be able to find some hiding spots. And since I sleep in a different room, I can sneak around at night for an escape route. Hm, the plan is shaky at best, but a plan nevertheless.

I look back up at Kizashi. He was only watching where he walked. I nodded to myself slightly. I have a year of freedom. A year to get stronger and better. A year to plan — to strategize. A year to prepare.

Holy fuck. When did my life turn into some kind of war? Well, at least I'll be ready for the fourth war. If I don't die before then that is. The gods didn't let me die so soon in this life, they probably won't let me until a certain age. Perhaps when I'm twelve? I'd have graduated from the academy by then. It's only a guess, a very bad one. But a simple guess nevertheless.

I shake my head, having gotten sidetracked. While it's true and possible, the gods won't let me die so early in this life — it's also possible that I won't die from other forces. Example, if I was trapped under a building, or like what actually happened and I have internal bleeding I should not have survived, I won't die. Mainly because the injuries were caused by an outside force. Under a building? The building fault. Internal bleeding? Kizashi's fault. Again this is all just a guess.

But what if I decided to end it all? Depressing and quite scary to think about, but it's an honest question. A question I don't feel too inclined to find the answer too — at least, not so soon.

Damn. Things took a depressing turn.

I'm brought out of my thoughts _(again)_ when I noticed that Kizashi has stopped walking. I look around warily only to find us in front of a newly rebuilt house. I recognize it to be our house. It isn't hard to tell that the area was wrecked in the attack. The shinobi are probably set to rebuilding the important buildings along with some civilian homes first.

It's funny. If we hadn't gotten out in time, we would have been crushed then dead. Unless mother did what she did again — toss me away from the danger. Then both mother and my father would have died together. In the end, it was only mother, and father died in spirit. Now I have a man that wears his face but is not him.

Kizashi steps inside the house. A frown set on his face as he looks around. It looks almost exactly the same as before. But it's not. Before, the air smelled of mother's cooking. Not like fresh paint and wood. Kizashi's hold on me tightens some more than what it already was. Whether it's intentional or not, I don't make a sound.

I already grieved. I've moved on. It's obvious Kizashi will grieve for as long as he still lives. I can't do anything about that or for the man. He can move on whenever he wants. But for me? Now it's time to move _forward_. 

Whether I like it or not _(which I fucking don't)_ , the universe won't wait for me to make sure I'm prepared. Fuck my life. This is gonna be one hell of a year. _Yay_.

Kizashi walked inside the house. When the door fully closed behind him, he made his way to the hall. I recognized the door he opened to be my room. Non to gently was I placed inside my crib. Sitting up, I tossed a glare to the man. He had his back to me while leaving my room. I could hear the distinct noise of the door being locked and I cursed.

The man was clearly unstable. Who the fuck knows when I'll have my next meal or a new diaper? My motor skills still aren't what I want them to be. Much less able to change myself. Which is only more motivation to hurry my ass up and learn how to run. Looking around now, I noticed the crib was bigger than what I remembered it to be. I could use the space as practice before trying to escape this hell hole. It helps that Kizashi ignores me.

Crawling towards the bars of my crib, I test my speed. Which isn't much. It's practically nothing at all. Glaring at the bars once I reached them, I make a note to work on my speed. Glancing at my already tired arms and legs, I also make a note to start muscle build up. I sigh in frustration. Starting as a baby sucks. Though, there's no use being negative...pfft. Yeah right. I only stayed alive as long as I did as Anna because I never got my hopes up, I always expected the worse of a situation and accepted them. Though I guess negativity isn't needed when I'm only six months old.

I sighed again before straining my nonexistent muscles to pull me up using the bars.

I didn't get very far off the mattress before falling on my back.

Practice makes perfect as they say.

They also say no one is perfect.

Stupid baby body. Why couldn't I have been turned into a three or four-year-old and then dumped in the middle of nowhere? At least then I could walk and run. Why did I have to start from the fucking womb? I blame the men in suits. When I die again I'm going to be looking for their asses and have a nice long _chat_ with them. I smirk to myself as I can already imagine their faces.

Laughing quietly to myself, I look back at the bars of my crib and narrow my eyes. I'll have to keep working on this. Fuck.


	6. Ah Shit

So, you know that whole thing about 'no emotion = perfect ninja'? Yeah that shit. It's literal shit. Who in their right fucking mind doesn't let someone mourn? Fuck man! I'll cry if I fucking want to!

But I don't. Obviously.

What kind of woman would I be? Crying after I already mourned? Shit man. I ain't got time to cry and sob over my problems. Life waits for no one. I should know. I do know.

Either way, this isn't about me _(not really at least)_. It's about all those brave men and women that died protecting the village and those that died like the civilians they are.

As a baby, the concept of time isn't really anything. But, again, I'm not just any baby. Oh _no_. I'm a main fucking character that was fucking reborn since the gods didn't know what to do with me _(I gave them a simple fucking solution too! Just send me to Hell!)_. If you can't tell, I'm still bitter about that fact. Anyhow, it's been like a week or two? Maybe? Kizashi sucks as a caretaker. Who knows how many meals I actually missed.

It was simple. I work my ass off trying to get stronger so I can run _(or be able to reach the kitchen to set this place on fire — whichever comes first)_. Kizashi shows up once to feed me and change me and gone once again.

But not today. Oh fuck no. No. Today, had to be the village wide funeral. Which meant, black clothes and dark skies and crying — the obnoxious kind too. Which also brings me back to the whole no emotion shit.

Looking around, it's fucking child's play to see who are shinobi and whose a civilian. One: the fucking headband. Two: their expressions are blank. Three: their entire posture. If Kizashi wasn't standing so close to them I probably wouldn't have noticed _(crap as fuck eyesight remember?)_. 

I also wouldn't have noticed the cutest five year old there is. With his black hair and eyes and holding his younger sibling. Uchiha Itachi. At least, I believe that's the kid's name? And the ugly red of a newborn wrapped in black and blue must be the little brat that had many stupid problems and caused many stupid problems. Sasuke, was it? Damn if I know. I just remember tomatoes and ducks are related to his character.

Itachi's black eyes flicker to mine.

Staring is rude and bad and fucking sue me already. So I blink at him in most innocent way _(which isn't much really)_. His head tilts a little, whether in confusion or acknowledgement, I don't know. I wave my hand either way. He smiles to me a little, wiggling his small child fingers at me. I was about to smile back and maybe grab the kid's attention so I can escape Kizashi. But of fucking course not. The gods hate me for some shit reason.

Now, Kizashi has some sense on how to hold a baby. He does. I fucking know he does. So, I fucking know that the shit that happened next was completely on purpose. That fucker. He didn't even react for a full fucking second and seemed so fucking amused.

He shifted so I was no longer staring over his shoulder but staring at the front. Then he walked away from the crowd. I didn't know what the fuck was up with him but I didn't like it. And like any other baby, I scream when I don't like something. Unfortunately, I couldn't scream because Kizashi fucking _tripped (over what, I still have no idea)_. 

Now, when you're holding a child and trip, you don't fucking let go. That's the _last fucking thing_ you do. No, what you're supposed to do is _hold them closer_. You're supposed to keep them safe from the fall. Then again, I'm not safe around this man anymore now am I?

So excuse me if I screamed at the top of my lungs in pure outrage that I was _purposely_ dropped to the cold, hard, and fucking _cement_ of a gravestone with its fucking _sharp corners_. "SHIT!"

Fuck if I know what happened next.

There were gasps, a child screaming I think?, panic and other shit. Oh, and red. A lot of red.

And that's how the village first knows of Haruno Sakura. The baby who lived after screaming a curse word _(and it was my first word too you assholes)_ for splitting her head open _(and no thanks to anyone for that. Shinobi reflexes where?)_. 

But, that's also how I was constantly under other people's watchful eyes. Since, you know, you don't let a baby do whatever the fuck they want after a stunt like that _(not like I wanted to rip my skull open)_. Not the important thing about my first funeral in this life. Oh no, what's important is what came out of it.

Now I have other people watching out for me, or just plain watching me like fucking pedos.

Which means, new opportunities to get Kizashi arrested and possible killed!

So maybe the gods don't hate me _that_ much. They're still motherfuckers.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

**Month 1 - 2; Age: 7 - 8 months**

Nothing of importance happened. Wasn't even allowed outside my fucking room. Or out of my crib. It's like I'm in prison, within a prison, within another fucking prison that in _another_ big ass prison. I mean I get it, I was bad in my last life but for fuck's sake I was never actually caught and now in this life I'm in multiple prisons. What the fuck gods? I thought me even being _alive_ again was punishment enough but fuck no. Fuck then.

Either way, after a few weeks of different mothers coming by to check on me and Kizashi, they deemed everything alright apparently? They just stopped showing up. Bitches left me to defend for myself. Maternal instincts my ass. Couldn't even see I'm malnourished. Blind old bats.

It wasn't that long after the women stopped coming by did I learn to stand finally. It took maybe another two weeks to walk the perimeter of my crib. Another to run it. But the space was too small. I felt like a caged animal.

Naturally, I did what any caged animal would. Try and break the bars. Okay, not really. I'm not some dumbass. I merely climbed out and almost cracked my head open again. But hey! I'm out! And I'm alive!

Victory!

...and I can't reach the door handle.

**Month 3 - 4; Age: 9 - 10 months**

That's right bitch. I've fucking grown. In muscle and height. Not in weight though since Kizashi is still an ass. But now I can move the stool from the desk in the corner of my room. Which means I can reach that door handle.

Kitchen here I come! There will be fire!

There wasn't any fucking fire what so fucking ever. I wasn't even five feet out of my prison when Kizashi found me. We had stared at each other for almost three minutes. Until he noticed me slowing moving towards the main area of the house.

The fucker just threw me back in my room with a fake smile. Which was creepier since the man had a mad look in his eyes. I knew I should have run for it while I could. Speed is always best in a fight.

My escapes continued for another three weeks before Kizashi decided that my room was too "nice" for me. That I didn’t "deserve" it and it was only for "children that don't kill their mother". _Bitch, where the fuck were you at the time?_

And that's how I found out we have a basement.

He at least had enough mind to move my crib down here.

Besides, jokes on him because those stairs to the door will only help improve my strength.

Thinking positive sucks ass.

**Month 5 - 6; Age: 11 - 12 months**

Holy shit! The light! Why is it so fucking bright!? Oh yeah, because I've lived in the basement for the past two months. And not once have I been even remotely outside since the funeral. Or ever actually taken to the park. Which is really just a clearing in the woods with benches.

And really fucking loud. What the actually fuck is all this screaming and screeching for? Are you be ruthlessly murdered? _No_. But did someone take your teddy? _Yes_. Well fuck, continue screaming then.

Honestly, these children are all so stupid it's annoying. No wonder the duck child never liked actual-pinky. It's all a shame really. I can already see which ones inspire to be shinobi. Those ones are the stupid ones. And the stupid ones, seem to consist of the majority of children here. For shame.

Not much I can do. It's not like I can smack the stupid adults of this world and lecture them. This is all fucking stupid. Why the fuck am I at the park again? Oh right. Because as Kizashi explained it, "Its suspicious that you haven't been seen since the funeral. A shame really. Hoped that accident would be your last."

Motherfucker.

**Month 7 - 8; Age: 13 - 14 months**

The basement got a desk added to it. Probably for all the torture devices to go. The man is making it very fucking clear that my year is almost up. Four more months and shit hits the fan.

Holy fuck! I should do that! The fucker still has to diaper change me _(fucking sadly)_. He also doesn't exactly hide the trash can. I think he hopes I'll suffocate from the smell. Well, newsflash bitch, I'm still a baby and my senses are still shit.

The fucker is in for a big surprise...as soon as I build up my aim. And strength. Throwing something half your weight with no balance or strength is a bad idea. I've already tried. Thing went fucking splat. It was disgusting and funny because it landed on Kizashi's shoe just as he walked in.

In retaliation, I wasn't changed nor fed for like, two days straight. The man really needs to add a clock to this basement. The place is so fucking drab! At least paint the fucking walls! Hell! He could place a clown puppet in here for fuck's sake!

The fucker has no sense of decor. Why'd mother have to take that with her?

**Month 9 - 10; Age: 15 - 16 months**

You have got to be fucking kidding me. It hasn't even been a fucking year yet! And this shitbag is already drinking!?

At least it's funny that he can't get down the stairs. The bastard trips the first step. Ha. Loser.

Which also means his bottle breaks. And we all know - we _should_ all know - how fucking useful broken glass can be. Danger to the wind when you're over thirty and have lived my life. If I couldn't have handled broken glass than shoot me now and let this boredom end.

It didn't happen even if I continuously cut my hands. My first calluses in this life. And it's from fucking glass. Bitch.

A fun-filled and happy year my ass. This is boring as fuck.

**Month 11 - 12; Age: 17 - 18 months (1 year and 6 months)**

" _The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. The itsy bitsy spider…_ " 

I trailed off as I looked up to the sound of creaking wood. Just like all those stupid horror movies. So fucking cliché.

_And my year was all drained out_ , I finished the tune.

What joy.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**


	7. W(b)itch

In all my years, this has to be the saddest shit ever. The man doesn't know what he's doing. A complete noob. You don't just _tell_ your reasons for torture, especially not repeatedly. I get it! I'm blamed for mother's death! Enough with your whining!

My eye twitches as I stare at Kizashi. He just won't shut the fuck up. I look down to the rope that binds me to the pole sticking out the wall. The knots aren't that complicated, I can get out of them in less than five minutes. I would too, if you know, Kizashi will leave me alone.

Looking up I realize that he's _still_ whining. I think he's retelling the story of the first time mother almost died. Yeah, apparently the two were ninjas but turned civilian for my sake? It's confusing and I really don't give a fuck. As far as I'm concerned, mother is dead and this fucker _will_ die by _my_ hands. Nice and simple.

I tug at the ropes while watching the man in front of me. He has an empty glass bottle in one hand, and a hammer in the other. The asshole, unfortunately, isn't a noob when it comes to _actually_ torturing someone. Why'd the man have to be a retired ninja? Fuck, is he even retired? What _is_ his occupation? Stupid basement with a lack of clocks and information.

With a final tug, the knots come loose. Slowly, I slide them off my wrists. Now, how the hell to do the ones around my legs? Oh, wait, I don't. Because Kizashi decided that _now_ was a good time to finish whining. What a bitch.

"What are you doing Sakura-Chan?" He asks sweetly, making me look up in disgust.

"The fuck does it look like I'm doing? Finally going blind?" I snap.

_Well_ , I think vaguely, _nice to know we established our feelings for each other._

He glares at me, shifting the hammer in his hand. My back straightens, ready for the hit and pain. Then he does the _stupidest shit_ and fucking shatters the bottle with the hammer. What the fuck?

"Oi, you finally lose it? The hell you doing?" I shout at him. But he just fucking smiles up at me. I fucking swear, grown and ugly-ass men should not be allowed to smile — it shouldn't even be legal!

"Now, we don't use words like that. Do I have to clean your mouth with soap again?" A smirk adorns his ugly ass face.

"Why the fuck not? Sure as hell tastes better than the shit you call food," I say with a wave of my hand.

He glares before presenting me with a smile. It doesn't look right honestly. It's all demented. Maybe a hit from the hammer can fix his face? Sure is a worth a try. "Which reminds me," he says casually like he wasn't just about to knock my brains out with that hammer. "Lunch is soon. And I have my first mission after being gone for so long—"

"So you _aren't_ some old croon begging on the streets. Well, sure fooled me," I interrupt with fake wonder and awe.

"But I can't just leave my little princess all alone," he cries out dramatically and creepily while ignoring me. I fucking hate all the stupid nicknames he has. Not only are they stupid, but their gross as fuck, and demeaning.

"Princess? Bitch, you fucking didn't. I'm a goddamn warrior!" I yell out. How dare he compare me to a pink and prissy and bratty princess _(except Disney Princesses because they fucking did what they wanted)_!?

He claps his hands together. His eyebrow is twitching slightly but with pure willpower, he ignores me. "So I'll be handing you over—"

"Oh? I'm an item to just be passed around now?"

"—to a good old friend of mine!" He finishes loudly, his smile stretching.

"Keep doing that weird shit with your face, hopefully it'll rip your face in half and you can bleed to death as I stomp on your spilled brains," I comment before I complain, "I knew you were old! I ain't staying with some hag!"

He snarls and begins throwing the broke glass pieces at me.

What fun! Some dodging practice!

_How can anyone be so fucking optimistic?_

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

I sneer while looking at the orphanage. Just as I remembered: smells like shit, old and ugly as fuck. It's a serious safety hazard. Good thing all these kids are going to be ninjas. They get unusual early training by just living here.

The head matron opens the door, noticing Kizashi first then me dangling from his grip. She looks between the two of us warily before composing her expression. "Yes? Can I help you?" She asks in a clipped tone.

Kizashi smiles _(and I shudder)_ at her, "I have a mission today and didn't want to leave my little princess all alone. I was hoping she could stay here for the time?"

Her eyes narrow, her entire fucking body language changes. Now she stands protectively in the doorway — no wait, she looks to be standing as if an argument is about to break out. Which is fucking weird. Why would she argue about someone leaving their child here as they're away— oh. _Oh_. 

Some bastards did this before and never came the fuck back.

"I'm afraid we don't-" she begins before Kizashi rudely interrupts.

"Please, there's no one else available to watch her. I promise I'll be back to pick her up. And I don't go back on my promises, right Sakura-Chan?" He asks me, smiling brightly.

"Fuck off," I reply. "And I thought I was being dropped off at some 'old friend's' place? This is the goddamn orphanage! And this lady sure as hell doesn't know you."

The woman naturally flinches, but only with her eyes which is really weird actually. How does someone flinch with their fucking eyes? I don't know but this lady can. Or, it's just her eyes flickering between Kizashi and I really fast since the ass instantly tightened his hold on the back of my jacket, almost choking me.

"I promise to be back to pick her up, now I really must be going," Kizashi plows through as if I was a mute and drops me from almost six feet off the ground, onto the creaky wooden stairs. He _leaves_ , literally _(what? I find it funny! Oh shut up)_ , before the women could object.

"Even if he does come back, can I just stay here and be an orphan?" I ask tiredly while pushing past her. No way I was staying outside in the cold — Land of Fire my ass! As soon as it hits October, it's suddenly the Land of Freezing Winds and in November _(as in right now because I checked the date and the basement has no insulation)_ it's the Land of Rain. In December it'll probably turn into the Land of Snow for fucks sake.

She sputters, quickly closing the door and following after me. "Young lady, you can't just decide to become an orphan! You have more than these children, and you want to give it away?!" She asks in disbelief.

I stop and turn to look at her. "Listen, you don't know my life. You have no right, absolutely none to criticize me and my choice of wanting to be an orphan. So just shut the fuck up. Now, I'm going to make myself a sandwich."

I turn my back to her as I try to find the equivalent of a kitchen here. It soon got crowded as I walked in the halls. Multiple children were running in and out of rooms, at least until they spotted me and stopped to stare.

I ignore them and look for the seemingly oldest child here. I find a boy with boring brown hair and eyes, around the age of ten to twelve. I walk up to him.

"Where's the kitchen?" I ask bluntly.

He looks confused but states out slowly, "We're not allowed in there."

Okay but did I fucking ask that? Why must children be stupid? "I just want to know that way I won't go in there accidentally," I reason and he smiles, buying my shit excuse.

Great! Now, to make me some _actual_ food.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

The head matron stared down at me angrily. I glared back at her. "You are _banned_ from the kitchen and every other room," she bites out.

"What? You can't just fucking ban me! What the fuck?!" I exclaim. This bitch!

"Watch your language! And you almost burned down the whole building! You don't need the stove to make a sandwich!" She yells outraged.

I look behind me at the scorched room. It's not that bad. She's overreacting. "Yeah I do! Not my fault you don't have a toaster!" I can spot the other children peering around the corner at the commotion.

Her nostrils flare and with a stiff finger, points to the door. Well, fine then! I'll just be a homeless child from now on! Better than Kizashi's and better than this shit hole! I'll just steal for my food. Not like I haven't done it before.

I walk towards the door and open it, without looking back I lift my middle finger at the hag. "Bye bitch!" And promptly slam the door behind me.

I jump down the steps and walk off the property. Best to hurry and leave before the witch realizes what just happened. I run down the street, not really caring where I was going. I also used this to test my speed and stamina. Both could use a lot of work. A basement isn't really the best place the train. Or live in. It's always so fucking dark and smells of mold and let's not forget the mice and spiders. If I didn't live thirty years in practically sewers and dark places, I would have been seriously disgusted.

At least the mice are nice. And no this isn't some Cinderella shit where I have the help of all sorts of creatures. Though, I have noticed that the small critters in this world are a lot smarter than what I remember. They seem to understand human speech at least.

The spiders are different though. Mean little shits. Always crawling on my arms and legs. Staring at me as if waiting for something. Then they go ahead and fucking bite me! The fuck I ever do to you!?

Let's not even start on cockroaches! Those flying fuckers. I hate cockroaches. Always trying to steal my food and they land in my fucking hair. So fucking rude.

And fuck, I'm going mad if I'm criticizing insects and rodents on their manners.

A shrill shriek makes me look up ready to attack or run. Only to see that I've somehow walked towards the park. Where children run free, screaming their heads off, holding wooden weapons while chasing after each other. Such violence was never encouraged from where I'm from. Is that why Pinky became so weak? Wasn't she bullied because of her fucking forehead? Honestly, have the insults just downgraded while physical violence upgraded here?

Ah, wait...I'm Pinky now. Am I going to get bullied? And from what I remember it was only verbal bullying. I'd turn that shit straight to fucking fight _(you know, because bite is better than bark? Or some shit like that)_. 

Maybe my fighting tendencies just built up over the years that once I got a chance to actually punch someone, I couldn't resist. It's the only explanation I got for what the hell happened next.

I was just looking for a nice spot to sit and possibly sleep. Then I heard pained grunts, laughter, and mocking voices. I had just found a perfect spot too! The noises were disturbing what little peace I found. So, naturally, I get up to see what the fuck is going on and if they can take it somewhere else.

I didn't expect to see little blonde getting beat on. I didn't expect him to be outnumbered, three to one. I didn't expect him to be crying while curled in a fatal position.

" _Oh fuck no_ ," I hiss in English.

So, really, can you blame me for picking up the biggest rock that fits my hand and chucking it at the oldest kid? Or for smiling when he let out a pained cry?

I quickly ran over and stood protectively in front of little blonde. The three boys — and fuck!, they're just _boys_ — look at me and outright fucking laugh. Yeah, I know I have a soft spot for kids but I'm currently a child myself and have never had a problem fighting people my age.

"Pick on someone your own size!" I yell at them while cringing inside because, really? How cliche and cheesy can I get?

I cross my arms over chest while putting my weight on my back leg. I look over them and add, "Of course I'm pretty sure there isn't anyone your size. What? Need to get your clothes specially tailored just to fit you?"

The three stop laughing as they try to figure out my insult. It's honestly no fun if they don't understand the insult right away. Thankfully, it didn't take long. I could tell by how their faces went red and they tried to glare at me. It'd be cute if they weren't such brats.

"And what about you! You're just some pipsqueak! With ugly pink hair! And- and your forehead is weird!" The boy to my left yells while pointing a finger at me. I was _just_ complaining about Pinky's bullying and now it's happening? The fuck?

"Is that really all you have to say? And didn't your mother teach you not to insult a lady? Oh, wait, no she didn't. Want to know why?" I ask rhetorically. "Because she's a bitch. That's why."

They gasp. Like, they just fucking gasp. The one to my right _(let's call him Joe)_ starts pointing at me dramatically. "You said a bad word!"

What. The. Literal. Fuck.

They're not even paying attention to how I called their mother a bitch.

"I'm going to tell your mom!" The one in the middle _(Bob)_ yells, in what I'm assuming is, threatening.

"Wow. Your mother really didn't teach you shit, did she? Don't you know you're not supposed to insult the dead?" I respond boredly.

They look at me confused. Why are kids so slow? "My mom is dead, stupid. But, if you still want to tell her, I can take you to her gravestone." Now they just look shocked.

The boy to my left _(Billy)_ begins sputtering and stuttering as he points out, "Well, you don't know our mom! You can't just call her...a bad word!" So someone was paying attention.

"Yeah I do," I answer and point over to my right at a woman sitting on a bench watching us. Really, it couldn't have been more obvious. "She's right there." I turn my body to face her and cup my hands around my mouth for added volume as I yell, "Fuck you too, bitch!" I proceed to double-flick her off. I can see her gasp from here.

Apparently, Bob had enough. He charged right at me with a badly executed punch. I dodged and sidestepped to get more room. The other two followed his example. Dodging Billy's punch, I step closer and hook my ankle with the boy's outstretched leg. A simple pull and he's eating dirt. I step on his back while looking at the other two boys.

"You gonna run back crying to your mommy now?" I ask getting annoyed. I just wanted some peace to sleep and these little brats just had to go and ruin it.

"Hey! Don't step on him like that!" The oldest, Bob, of the bunch yells at me.

"Oh? I could always step on him with _both_ feet if you want?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. Bob goes in for a tackle. I just move out the way and he lands on Billy. They both grunt in pain as I move towards the youngest of the three, Joe. He doesn't move because he looks scared actually and damnit!, I don't like scaring kids but these three are brats.

I outstretch my hand to him. He looks confused but nonetheless takes my hand as if we were about to greet each other. I pull on his hand and twist around, bringing his arm over my shoulder. I crouch and pull the kid over my shoulder. He lands on Billy and Bob.

I sigh, "Alright now scram and run back to your bitch of a mother."

Billy was the first to get up _(which is surprising since he was at the bottom)_ and glare at me. I glare right back and he flinches. Picking up his brothers, they run back to their mother who's now glaring at me. I flick her off again.

Right, now. The whole reason I even confronted those three. I turn around looking for little blonde. He was sitting by a tree, openly gaping at me. I walk over and once I'm five feet away he seems to snap back to reality because he flinches.

Sighing, I stop where I am and sit down. "You okay?" I ask softly. Wouldn't want to startle the poor boy. He looks up at the sound of my voice. From here, I can already see all his bruises. Any cuts he had, healed it seemed. That's because of Foxy right?

"W-why.." He begins but stops, still watching me. I wait for him to finish. "Why...did ya' help?" He asks hesitantly.

"Why would I not? I saw a child get beat up, I couldn't just stand off to the side. Now, your hurt. We need to get your injuries looked at," I say while tilting my head to get a better look at him. He's nothing like the bright boy I remember from before. He's just a scared and sad little boy. The hell is wrong with this place?

I stand up slowly and lean down with my hands outstretched to him. He stares for a long time, which makes my legs cramp up and my arms twitch from the strain of holding them up. I can see him swallow before slowly reaching out and taking my hands. Finally, I was about to just drop my arms and pick him up myself. I pull him off the ground.

"The right thing to do is take you to the medics, but I don't like hospitals. What about you?" I ask him as I pull his arm close to my face to see how bad the bruises are. Really, hospitals might someday save my life but I can do without going there for every injury. The medics are either scary as fuck or just downright disgusting — and now I realize I just might be stereotypical. Which isn't surprising, I've never actually been admitted to a hospital. They were just another way for the police to find you. You either had your own medic or you just fucking die. When blonde doesn't answer, I look up. He's staring me. Just, like...staring. I know I've lived in a basement, but surely I can't look that bad.

"I..don't like 'em," he answers after a moment. I nod to show I understood and heard. I take his hand in mine as I look around. I don't know anyone that can heal...mainly because I don't know anyone period. And I can't just waltz into some clan and demand they heal the poor boy. Though, maybe I can take him to Hiruzen? He likes the boy right? Naruto called him grandpa a lot from what I remember.

There was a rumble making me pause. I look down at my stomach. Then I look at Naruto. He's blushing a bright red in embarrassment. So it wasn't me. But this boy obviously needs food. How could I not notice how small and skinny he is?

"First food then we can heal your bruises," I tell him as I begin walking out the park, pulling him along with me. And well, if I was more focused on what we were going to eat than the fact Naruto wouldn't look away from our hands, can you blame me? I haven't had real food in like...fucking forever!

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

I realized, not long after we started looking for food, that I was broke. I literally had no money on me what so fucking ever. And that the nice mice I was talking about earlier, had somehow ended up in my jacket pockets.

I stared at the two mice in my hands. Naruto was next to me, looking at the mice weirdly. We were currently in an alleyway, away from the busy streets.

"When the fu-," I cough when I realize there's a child next to me. "When the hell did you two get in my clothes? Why are you in my clothes?" I was confused before realizing, I'm talking to mice. My devil, I've gone mad.

Whatever now wasn't really the time for that. We still need food and I'm broke and I so very much doubt Naruto has any cash on him. Stealing it is then. I crouch down and place the mice down. I look at them and they look at me. I can't believe I'm doing this. This is literally my life now.

"Alright. Here's the plan," I say out loud and Naruto crouches down next to me confused. "I'm going to go get us some food. Okay?" He nods but looks uncertain. I pick up the mice and look them over. As I suspected. I place down one mouse and hold the other. "I'm going to take this guy with me. You can watch over his wife as we're gone. Can you do that? Can you watch Minnie?" Oh kill me now and throw me the deepest pit of hell.

Now Naruto is looking at me really weirdly. But fuck! I need him to stay here as I go and steal us some food. I stare at Naruto until he nods and hesitantly picks up the other mouse. I nod to him and pat his shoulder, "I'll be back then." The poor boy. What a day he had. Got beat up, got saved, now he has to deal with my crazy shit.

I get up and head to towards the entry of the alleyway. Looking down I say, "I need you to make a distraction as I snatch us some food. Can you do that Mickey?" Fuck my life. What the fuck am I even doing?

I place Mickey down and he scurries off as I walk around looking for a stall to steal from. Luckily, we're in the market. So there's a bunch of stalls with just fresh fruit and shit. I feel like Aladdin from that one princess movie. Instead of a monkey as a sidekick, I have a mouse.

Moving the fuck on because I seriously can't believe I just talked to mice. Fucking mice. I even fucking named them!

Then I hear a yell. Looking over, I see an old man with a broom. Then I see Mickey. That fucking mouse. Looking around, everyone is rather distracted. And I'm next to a fruit stand. Again...that fucking mouse.  
I smirk as I place two apples in my pockets. I grab two bananas and tuck them in my hood. Looking around, I steal two oranges. I quickly get the fuck out because I can see Mickey making a run for it. Looking over, I give that fucking mouse a thumbs up.

Ducking into a different alleyway, I take off my jacket and lay my steals out on it. I tie my jacket around the food, making sure none will fall out and then tie the jacket around my waist. Overall, pretty successful.

I casually walk out the alleyway and stroll my way through the crowd. I pass the angry shopkeepers as the continue looking for Mickey. I'm pretty sure Mickey booked it back to Minnie. So they should all be back in the alleyway.

And they are, thankfully. I smirk as I place down my jacket and unfold it to reveal the fruit. There are six items, two of each. I take one of each and Naruto gets the other three. Mickey and Minnie look at me with those beady little eyes of theirs.

"Alright fine. Here. You get my banana," I say and hand it over to the two of them. I look over at Naruto who's staring at the food and then he's staring at me.

"Yeah? You gonna eat?" I ask after a while.

He swallows and nods, "Ya...came back."

Breathe in. Breathe out. You can't kill the civilians in the village Anna. You can't _(not yet at least)_. You're only like four years old. You pose no threat. It's useless _(doesn't mean I won't fucking try!)_. 

"I said I would yeah?" I ask instead. He nods before smiling. And that's when I realized why this boy was so different from what I remember. He wasn't smiling before.

"Great! Now, eat so we can go see this old man."

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

"Where...we going?" Naruto asks me as we stand in front of the doors of the large red tower. I'm pretty sure this is the Hokage tower. Pretty sure.

"We are going to go see an old perverted man," I explain while lightly kicking the door with my foot. I miss my leg strength from before. I used to be able to kick down fucking metal doors! And I doubt — no matter how many lunges and wall-squats I do — that I'll ever regain that strength _(let's ignore that fact that I'm under the age of five)_. 

"What?" Naruto asks behind me confused. I don't explain any further as I slam my foot fucking _through_ the wooden door. Fuck, if I can do that shit, I'm sure I can knock down some wooden door. Fuck yeah!

I ignore Naruto's squeak and the voices coming inside the building as I pull my leg out. With a satisfied smirk, I pull open the door, dragging Naruto in with me. Inside are a bunch of people, mostly ninjas. It's quiet as they all stare at us, making Naruto squirm and hide behind me before they stare at my leg. Which, now realizing, is covered in splinters and is slightly bleeding.

I shrug, "Sorry. Thought it was a push door, not a pull." I received dry looks in reply.

"You...kicked it though," a young man, whose name I don't know, meaning he's unimportant, states out confused.

"No," I snort at his stupidity. "I pushed it with my foot." I sigh while shaking my head. I don't have time for this shit.

"I'm looking for an old perverted man that smokes," I calmly state with a blank face as I stare at them. Most people blinked, looking confused and bewildered. No one speaks for a very long time.

Ugh! These slow fuckers! Don't they know they're wasting precious time right now?

I snap my fingers and glare, getting impatient, "Don't tell me you're all deaf. Someone point me to the old fu-," I cough, looking back at Naruto who's too distracted hiding to hear what I almost said.

Wait...didn't blonde hear me cuss out those bratty boys _(and their bitch mother)_ earlier? Why the fuck do I care if he hears me curse?

Clearing my throat, I start over. "Someone just point me to where I can find the old fucking coot! He wears this weird ass red hat? And robes too as if he's going to sleep."

Well. Didn't _that_ get their attention.

"You mean the Hokage?" A soft looking woman asks me. With just a glance I know she's anything but soft. The bitch is tense and her eyes aren't exactly on me. I move until her eyes _are_ on me.

"Did I fucking ask what you shits call him? No. So shut the fuck up," I respond dryly ignoring her offended expression. I glare at everyone as I grab Naruto's hand and head for the stairs.

"You're all fucking useless," I call over my shoulder while lifting my free hand to flick them all off. Absolutely useless, I swear. If they couldn't catch a falling baby, why did I expect them to even give directions to some civilian child _(both fucking times being me)_?

We were only halfway up the stairs when some lady yells out, "You can't just walk up there! Besides, the Hokage is in a meeting with someone!"

"Just fucking watch me, bitch!" I yell back at her. Why would I give a fuck if the old guy is in some meeting? Naruto _(and I are)_ is much more important.

I huff in annoyance once we reach the top. For what fucking reason does one need this many rooms?

I look at Naruto, who flinches slightly once we make eye contact as a blush steadily crawls up his neck. I furrow my brows in confusion. I didn't scare the kid this early on, did I? And don't tell me he's hungry again! I get he has a big appetite but one can only carry so many stolen goods! Especially if that one is under fucking five!

"Looks like we'll need to just kick down every door in this hall and the next till we find that old man," I sigh. "You with me?" I ask the more than likely scared blonde boy. He nods almost timidly. Almost. I think he's slowly, _slowly_ , getting used to me. Maybe. Who the fuck knows?

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

"GUESS WHO MOTHERFUCKER!" I scream while kicking down the door with all of my almost-but-not-actually four-year-old might. Naruto and I have checked and kicked down every single fucking door in this godforsaken building. Including the bathroom stalls — well, I did those, didn't want to scar Naruto so soon.

We left no door un-kicked-down. And this was the last fucking door. If this wasn't the Hiruzen's office, I was fully prepared to just jump out the nearest fucking window and die. The only good thing about this was that I perfected kicking down wooden doors. More than once did my leg just go through the door. More than once did I ignore the blood and odd looks. Because I don't have time for anyone's shit. I've just kicked down more than fucking thirty doors on more than two floors. Again, what the fuck is the use of all those rooms!?

I glare into the room, fucking daring the gods to let it not be the office.

In return, I got an unimpressed lift of the eyebrow with an amused twinkle of the eye from the man I'm looking for and a pale looking witch.

"Fucking finally!" I scream out, lowering my leg down. I glare at Hiruzen because fuck, this was _his_ building making it _his_ fault. "Do you know how close I was to jumping out a window and just committing suicide in general? Just what the fuck do you need all those rooms for!?"

The witch, aka the Head Matron of the orphanage, gasps before glaring at me. "Watch your language young lady! This is the Hokage you're speaking too!" Then she turns and bows to the old man. "I am deeply sorry for her behavior! Please forgive her—"

"Forgive me? Excuse me?" I cut her off incredulous. "If I wanted forgiveness than I would've apologized. But no. I don't want or need this man's forgiveness," even if he's practically the dictator of this village and can just kill me, "because fuck that shit. I'm here for a different reason than fucking forgiveness for kicking down all his doors."

"You did what!?" She screams at me. Really. This witch was getting annoying. Can all she do is scream? And who fucking screams when your right in front of the fucking leader. These dumbasses.

"Why the hell are you here anyway?" I ask instead because seriously, I just left the orphanage and there wasn't any reason for her to leave and bother the old coot.

There was a cough from said old coot. We all look towards him. The witch begins blushing in embarrassment as I roll my eyes. Ignoring the witch's blabbering, I look behind me at Naruto. He's looking at the Hokage in a mix of awe and disbelief. I snort while looking back at the old man. If I didn't know several old men _(from before of course, I just left the house today)_ that could still pack a damn good punch, I'd be in disbelief as well. I mean, really. Why would you leave some old guy as the leader? So what if he's ruled _(is that even the right fucking word? Makes he seem like a King)_ for like, over thirty years now! He's old!

I finally tune back into whatever the hell the pale woman was blabbering on about. Then I quickly glared up at her. This bitch! She's giving a report on the little blonde in her orphanage — the little blonde still hiding behind me. And she's so obviously lying! Aren't ninja trained to pick out lies? What does she hope to do lying to the _top fucking ninja_ in the entire fucking village?

Offended on Naruto's and Hiruzen's behalf, I stalk up to the woman and kicked her in the shin like I would a door. And though wooden, doors aren't that easy to break or kick down. So, no, I'm not surprised if I broke something in her leg. Bitch deserves it. I am surprised, however, that she fell. Like...she just fucking fell with a pained cry. Made me pause, but it didn't make me stop. Hell, even Hiruzen's surprised shout and Naruto's gasp didn't stop me.

I sneered at the woman. "You lying little witch!" Yes, I know, I could've said something better than whatever that shit was. But using such words in front of little blonde? Hell no. Besides, I still have years to corrupt the little tyke.

"You say he's 'fine'. You say he's 'well-fed'. You say he's 'well cared for'," I recite what I heard back at her. "Well," I smile sadistically because I'm ripping this bitch a new one, "You know what I say?" She only looks at me terrified. I realize in that small pause that Hiruzen is looking at me with analytical eyes. But he doesn't interrupt. "I say that he's _not_ fine. I say that he's _starved_. I say that he isn't being taken care of, _at all_."

Then she has the fucking audacity to fucking glare back at me and whisper, "And what would a _child_ know?"

My smile widens. "So glad you asked," I chirp like the child I currently am, "What I know is this: a _fine, well-fed_ , and well cared for child wouldn't be in the park by themselves while taking a beating from three children older than him."

"What I know is that you're lying just to continue cashing in the funds sent to your little shithole," I lean in and take a whiff. I knew wearing that much perfume was suspicious. If she was trying to pick up some guys, she'd be forever alone. Who'd go near a woman smelling like a perfume shop where everything broke?

"No matter how much perfume you spray yourself with, you can't get rid of the smell of alcohol," I say with fake sympathy. "A shame, really. I'm sure you could have been a pretty little thing," I say in a whisper while patting her cheek. "No wonder you're still in the orphanage."

She stares at me with wide eyes. And in a hoarse whisper, she still tries to defend herself. "You can't prove that."

I lean back and raise an eyebrow at her, unimpressed. "Oh? Can't I?" I ask while looking over my shoulder and smiling softly to Naruto. He looks confused and a little scared. I kinda feel bad now. Maybe I should've just tripped the woman? I look back down at her. Nah.

She was pale than ever now. And when the sound of a cough rang through the room, I'm sure she was as pale as a ghost. Not that I've seen one. But I'd like to imagine that's how pale they are.

I turn my back to her and walk casually back towards the little blonde. He looks at me warily but I only smile and lift my head up to pat his head. He flinches and I ignore it. I ruffle his hair, leaving my hand there as I stare at the ceiling. I could feel Hiruzen's eyes on me but more specifically, on Naruto — almost as if he just realized the boy was there. Which wouldn't be surprising. I was practically hiding the boy.

I sigh, still ignoring the terrified woman on the floor, and look to Naruto with a smile. "And this is the old perverted man that smokes. The one we've been looking for," I state while motioning towards Hiruzen. He coughed when I said 'perverted'. He just outed himself out. Ha!

Naruto looks at Hiruzen again and stares before turning to me. Right. The whole reason I brought him here. Looking at the old man, I grab Naruto's hand and pull him along with me as I walk towards Hiruzen's desk.

"Alright old man," I say once we've walked around the desk and are standing next to the man, "you have ointment for bruises?" His eyes glide to look at me. He's been staring at Naruto the entire time. I'm stuck in a staring contest with him for a minute before he nods slowly.

"Yes, I do. Do you need some?" He asks, already reaching into the desk drawer on his top right.  
I wave him off when he offers the container to me. "Not me you stupid old man. Little blonde here needs it," I say shrugging towards Naruto. Said boy looks up timidly. Ugh. Can he just...hurry and be the bright blonde already? Bright blonde might be loud and reckless but he isn't so sad looking. Just goes to show how messed up this place is.

Hiruzen glances at Naruto once more but his gaze stays on me. I just raise an eyebrow at him. He's wasting time and I don't fucking appreciate that. I tilt my head towards the little blonde that's still somewhat hiding. "Well?" I drawl. I honestly don't get why he's looking at me. I mean, Naruto is the son of the late Fourth Hokage. I'm just the civilian baby that screamed at said late Fourth Hokage.

He smiles and I will restate this as many times as I fucking have too — older men should not be doing that shit, at least not in my fucking presence.

"I never got your names," he redirects while holding out the ointment.

I take it from him, turning so I could see Naruto but still kept my gaze on the old man. "That's because we never gave them," I reply with an eye roll. He chuckles, watching as I opened the container and applied some ointment to myself first. Hey, might as well use some while I can. Especially on the more revealing bruises I have. And, if this stuff really does work, I can ask the old guy where he got it from. Then I can steal myself a supply.

I watch as the bruise on my forearm stops stinging with dull pain. Huh. The stuff never did this from before. Then again, before there were no fucking ninja with superpowers. I shrug internally while handing it off to Naruto.

"All yours now little blonde," I say, ignoring Hiruzen's raised eyebrow. If he didn't want us to keep it, then he wouldn't have given it to us in the first place. Honestly, didn't his parents teach him that sharing is just another way to be robbed?

"Works like a charm," I assure the blonde, "but don't use all of it okay?"

I notice while helping and teaching Naruto how to put on the ointment, that the witch was just now getting off the floor. How slow can one be? I'm sure it's been like, over three minutes now. She's been shaking like a leaf! Still pale as well. With me distracting Naruto, I suppose Hiruzen thought now was a good time to address the witch.

I ignored whatever was calmly and quietly stated. The old coot seems to have it handled, so I just continued distracting Naruto. I turned back around once I saw the bitch was about to leave. I smile _oh so_ fucking _cheerily_ at her before she can close the door. And, well, if my smile stretches some more at her flinch, can I be blamed?

Little blonde was just closing the small container when the old man turned back to us. He smiled and I scowled. Why must I restate this so fucking soon! Older people should not fucking smile!

"Now, why don't you two introduce yourselves?" He asks kindly.

"And why don't we not? Why don't we just leave?" I retort dryly. Man, now I'm tired. And I haven't had a proper fucking meal either! I ended up giving up my apple to Naruto in the end, and those two mice had their share of my orange! After I gave them my banana too! Those fucking mice.

Little blonde tugs on my shirt before stepping up. I sigh. So now the kid wants to be a little brave? Whatever. I look around the office while Naruto introduces himself. I ignore their small talk to stare at the paintings on the wall. Just as they showed in the show, there were the paintings of Hokages. Even big blonde was there. Just as I remembered him to look like before I screamed at him.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by someone taping my shoulder. Looking over, I realize it's Naruto. The two are staring at me. Well, more like blonde is. Hiruzen is looking at the Minato picture I was staring at.

"Yeah?"

"And you're name?" The old man asks while looking at me suspiciously. Well, fuck. I help out a kid and now I'm being interrogated! If I didn't have enough experience from doing the same thing from before, I'd be pissed and screwed.

"What about my name?" I ask with a raised brow. If this guy wants to fucking interrogate me, then fucking fine! Doesn't mean I'll make it any easier for him!

He narrows his eyes at me. I just lean on my back leg with my hands on my hip. "Your attitude isn't really appreciated," he stated calmly, most likely keeping in mind that I'm just a child and Naruto is still in the room.

I snort at the man. Bull fucking shit. "Your sleeping robes aren't really appreciated either, old man. But do I go ahead and ruin your dreams of wearing pajamas to work? Fuck no but shit, now I might as well."

"Language young lady," he says with a stern undertone.

"You sure as hell didn't say shit when I ripped that bitch back there a new one. Why the fuck does it matter now?" I retort back. I don't give a shit what title or power that man holds, if he really wanted to know my name, he'd have some of his ninjas figure it the fuck out. Besides, doesn't he know Kizashi? His own fucking ninja? Either fucking way! This guy should already know my name! Kakashi made sure to state who I was during the Kyuubi Attack.

So, no. I'm not giving my name to someone who should already know what it is and has numerous ways of figuring it out. Call me stubborn but honestly? Was no one taught to never give your name to strangers? Third Hokage or not, he's still a perverted old man, he's still a stranger. Sure, I can talk to any stranger I fucking want. But I don't just go about giving them my fucking name!

I'm three, sue me. I have to use my child charms while I still can. Besides, I doubt my attitude would be tolerated for so long as I get older. Might as well diss out as much disrespect as I can.

Plus, this will give Kizashi a bad reputation as a parent. Fuck yeah! The bright side!

Then there's fucking knock and I look outside to see it's already dark _some_ fucking how.

As Naruto stays behind the desk, I look over once Hiruzen calls the person in. I can't help the scowl and glare that cross my face.

"Well fucking shit," I speak out before anyone else could, getting all eyes on me. "And here I was just _praying_ that you died a vicious, grotesque death." The gods really hate me. I actually prayed for once in my fucking life and they go ahead and ignore the fuck out of me! They're the fuckers that put me here in the first place!

I hate my life. I hate the gods. I just fucking hate everything.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**


	8. Oldies but good-- nope, just old

I ask for one thing, one thing only. And that's for this motherfucker to have died. But of fucking course not. Instead the asshole is back within the same fucking day and _alive_. Is it too much to ask for one life to be severed? Apparently fucking so. At least now I can be sure he dies by my hands.

I stayed where I stood, glaring at the man that just walked in _(I swear there wasn't a door before! I fucking kicked it down!)_. He blinked carefully, his body stilled for a second. If we weren't in the Hokage's Office I'm sure he would've glared at me and reach for a strike. Instead, we are in the Hokage's Office with the Old Man himself. Instead, he lifted his hands up in an over enthusiastic clap. His eyes closed in a smile.

I saw the hatred, of course, before he closed his eyes. I saw the twitch in his hands. I wonder how much restraint he would have if I was any closer. A curious question.

"Princess! What are you doing here?" Kizashi asks, ignoring my earlier statement of his death.

"Oh jump off the Hokage Monument and die already!" I sneer.

He opens his eyes and looks dejected. Looks like he doesn't know what's wrong and it's fucking disgusting. He thinks acting like a helpless single parent is going to help him and gain what? Some demented form of forgiveness? This isn't a fucking fantasy. He didn't go out on a fucking journey and learn his wrongs.

We stare at each other for a long time. Him looking like a fucking idiot and me glaring. Neither look away. It'd be a show of submission and weakness. This bitch submits to no one and I'm not some weak motherfucker. I'd sooner kill myself then let this asshole see me as weak. After all, I _will_ be the one to kill him.

There's a cough and he looks up. Seems the old man has had enough of the stare down. I glance behind me at him only to curl my lips in disgust. Gone with his tolerating grandfather expression, he now wears the expression of a friend. How can anyone be friends with Kizashi? Friends of the asshole can go jump off the cliff with him and die as well. Grandfather figure to little blonde or not. Hero or not.

I ignore whatever shit spills from Kizashi's mouth as he talks with Hiruzen. Their conversation in all honesty doesn't concern me, so why should I care? If anything the asshole is just kissing up to his boss. Which is stupid, if there's anything I've learned in all my years of working with mobs it's this: you have a problem?, fix it yourself because no one gonna do that shit for you, especially not your boss — why would they care?, as long as you do your work you're not dead!, it's a fucking honor so don't start pull and dumping shit on them.

It was kill or be killed. You were either strong or you were weak. Here? It's the same thing just more literal, a lot more literal.

Besides, are there even laws here against child abuse? What would the Hokage, an old man that doesn't even fucking know me, do? Why should he feel any sort of sympathy or pity for me _(not that I want it, people can shove that shit down their throat)_? Why would he throw a perfectly good, functioning, soldier to the cells just because of a child? He wouldn't because the village needs all the ninja they can get since the demon kitty attack three years ago. You'd have to be stupid not to know the village lost hundreds _(maybe even thousands!)_ of ninja and civilians _(they aren't that important actually so let's forget them)_. 

And even if the old man did do something about it, it's just mean I wouldn't be able to kill Kizashi.

"— report tomorrow. I'm sure you want to go home with your daughter," I hear Hiruzen say once I come back to focus.

And let me just say, " _Oh fuck no._ " The two men look in my direction in confusion. Ah, right. They don't know English here. It's a good thing since they dismiss my behavior to return to their conversation. I take this time to look around. I can't just go out the front door because that means passing Kizashi, giving the asshole a perfect shot to catch me.

I'm not about to go back to the house with the fucker. I've finally been let out! Why the fuck would I want to go back? This could possibly be my only chance. What to do?

Turning to look back at the two men, I realize that there's still little blonde to worry about. Like fuck I'm leaving him here with them. Hiruzen is still a stranger and I'm the one that brought the boy here. And no way in the seven hells am I leaving him with Kizashi. I'll die before letting that happen.

I stare as little blonde stays close to Hiruzen and behind the desk. With a glance, I know that the asshole hasn't seen him _yet_. Fuck. Ugh. Why is everything so complicated? Can't I just jump out the window and fall to my death?

Holy fucking shit, yes I can!

There's the large window behind the desk, overlooking the village. And we're currently like on the fifth floor or some shit _(too many rooms and levels to keep count)_. By jumping out the window, the attention stays on me. And I have an escape, little blonde will have an escape.

But I'm three. Will my body be strong enough to break the window? Shit, I hope so. It'd be embarrassing to jump, body slam the window, and bounce back.

Only one way to find out I guess. And that's by running and jumping. No one payed any attention to me.

" _Adios_ motherfuckers!" I yell as I push all my body weight against the window. Oh so _now_ they pay attention, just because the window shattered and I flicked them both off with both hands.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

My adventure of free falling is short lived. Apparently the Hokage wasn't going to have a child die while he was around. Shame that Kizashi tortures me in the basement. ANBUs can't reach me in the basement but they sure as hell can catch me out of the air.

I'm currently being yelled at which is fucking stupid. I knew perfectly what the fuck I was doing. They make it seem like I'm a retard. I glare at the old coot as he stares at me with hard eyes. I completely ignore Kizashi's theatrics _(is this asshole_ crying? _What the literal fuck, that's so fucking overboard)_. 

I'm sitting on the floor with my legs crossed. The ANBU that caught be stands close behind me. Kizashi is too the side. Hiruzen in front of me. And little blonde is peeking out from the desk with wide eyes and _holy shit is he going to cry to?_

Why is everyone just crying now? All I did was almost commit suicide. Not that big of a deal since it's well, _me_. There be people killing themselves like every minute around the world from before. _That_ was a big deal. But _me_ doing it certainly isn't. Surely they have people commit suicide here too right? Didn't Kakashi's father do that? But wasn't that because of some sort of code? Some shit about honor and swords or something.

"Look," I say cutting off the bullshit coming from Kizashi, "I get it. My absence would have been oh so fucking devastating. It would be a shame to punish this land by dying. Oh how could I have done that?" Can you say sarcasm and ego much? I roll my eyes at them. This is so stupid.

Old Coot leans forward and rests his elbows on the desk. He doesn't let up the stern expression. Calmly, he says, "Language young lady."

"Sleeping robes old man," I was quick to retort. I'm so done with this shit. I stand up and stretch. "If we're done here, I'll just go find me a nice cliff to jump off of. Or maybe I can find me an empty glass bottle to break and use the glass shards to have me bleed to death. I think a kitchen knife would work best though. Or hey! I can hang myself from the nose of one the Hokage's carved faces. That'd be really funny." Oh so _now_ he looks concerned. Fucking choose how you feel already!

I huff when he just turns to address Kizashi. So I turn to address his ANBU. Tugging on the pant leg, the guy _(pretty sure it's a guy because they don't have breasts)_ tilts his head in my direction and acknowledgement. I wave him down and with only a second hesitation he crouches to my level.

"Fuck you," I hiss. If this person was any lesser man, I'm sure he would have flinched. "How fucking dare you ruin my only chance of escape." This is just fucking perfect! Now I'm _for sure_ going back to the house with the asshole and hell, I'd even say an ANBU will be tasked to make sure I make it back 'safely'. Safety my ass!

I turn away from the masked figure to see Kizashi waiting by the door. He beckons me over. I glare but with a look around, there's no way out but with him. Those stupid ass gods, fuck them!

Once I'm within reach, he clamps his hand on my shoulder. He guides me out into the hall, looking like a very concerned man. Fuck. His acting is good. Doesn't mean I'm fooled though. Besides, we're still within the old man's sights and he's like...a super ninja or some shit. Not like acting is going to work on him.

I glance over my shoulder to see little blonde looking lost, scared, and confused. I grimace because fuck, I was the one to bring him here and now I'm just leaving him. If I didn't care about giving him away, I would've shouted a reassurance to the poor tyke.

Then I look at the old man.

The door closes and I'm shoved forward. Kizashi the ass is waiting for me to continue walking. I flick him off, "Don't fucking touch me you bastard." I wish I had a kitchen knife to gut the man. Then I take his intestines and choke him with it.

As I walk out of tower, glaring at anyone and everyone, I can only think one thing really. It's stupid. What did I fucking expect? I shouldn't even dwell on the matter. Not like I haven't dealt with this shit before.

After all, adults are blind old bats.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

Being thrown down wooden and splintering stairs isn't fun. Neither is being kicked into the wall once you've stopped rolling.

"You disgraceful, useless, little-"

"I'm three! The fuck you'd expect? For me to be six feet tall?" I wheeze out as I get on my knees. My eyes have already started to water and I blink the tears back. Like _fuck_ I was going to cry. Stupid child body and stupid child body functions. This is _my_ body and _I_ wasn't going to cry.

Kizashi stomps on my back, pushing me back down to the floor. I can feel the crack of my jaw as my face smacks the floor. I don't make a sound as he continues to stomp me into the ground.

"You need to learn to respect your elders!" He shouts, pressing the heel of his shoe into my back, putting pressure on my ribs.

"My elders should be six feet under!" I scream at him. If you've died once, you've died a thousand times. Not my fault my self-preservation was thrown out the window the moment I was born. And really, it's just a sign that the gods really want to talk with me again. And I do as well. I have some choice words for those fuckers.

"You mean just like my wife?" He asks calmly, pausing in his motions. I can only look up for two seconds before I'm kicked in the face. Apparently, Mebuki isn't my mother anymore? Fuck if I know what delusions this bastard has.

And that kick really fucked me up. My vision was dazed and dizzy. I could feel the drip of blood down the side of my face. The painful throbbing coming from the left side of my head. I couldn't tell how much time passed after that. I could hardly count the number of blows I was dealt.

With my fucking blood dripping in my eyes, I guess adults aren't the only blind ones. Karma is a bitch that works _fast_.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

I can hear different voices, well more like two. Ugh, what the fuck happened? Right, I was being beaten then I..passed out? That shit has never happened before. Then again, this would be the first Kizashi has given me any sort of head trauma.

"—passed out—"

"—trauma in—"

"Kicked...wall..."

I could only catch a word or two before, now the words are just too faded to recognize. Ugh. Where the hell am I? It's dark as fuck, I can't see in front of me. Probably because I'm blindfolded. Great. I can't move my hands or feet being tied up and all. The floor is cold, concrete. The air is stale, dusty.

This isn't the basement. This is a fucking underground tunnel. I just fucking know it is. I've been underground enough times before to recognize rooms by just the feel of the floor and the air. And this is most definitely some sort of tunnel shit. Let me guess, I'm being fed to the rats?

"It seems she's awake," a gravelly voice announces.

Someone pulls on my hair, making me sit on my knees. I wince at the pain. I just know it's the fucker, the asshole doesn't pass up on a chance to hurt me. Next thing I know, the blindfold is ripped away and my vision is absolutely crap.

"Haruno Sakura," the same gravelling voice addresses. I don't answer them, choosing to ignore them as they go on some tangent over something. They sound really proud too.

My vision _finally_ clears up. I blame the blood loss for the words that spill out once I see who's talking.

"Didn't think I'd meet any mummies," at least not in this life, "and I _was_ right!" Everything is quiet while I'm being glared at. "All old people _are_ blind!" I'm promptly smacked in the back of my head with enough force to make me kiss the cement and nap.

The fucker. I couldn't even see who it was that did it either! At least let me see the person I'm cussing out! By default I'll just make that person be Kizashi.

The motherfucker.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**


	9. Dino-pedo-man

Waking up on the floor in a room that's just concrete after being knocked out because you insulted some asshole — is not fun. At all. Especially when there's a small person waiting for you wearing all black and a white, blank mask. The only thing I know of the kid _(and it's a_ kid _older physically by five years it seems)_ is that his hair is black, or maybe it's really dark brown? The lighting here is absolute crap.

"Oi, can you be a gentlemen," because kid obviously isn't a girl with the way he stands, "and inform me of where I am?"

Dead silence was my answer. It would've been awkward if I wasn't over thirty mentally. The kid didn't even twitch. Which is really annoying, it's like the kid doesn't even acknowledge my current existence. I don't really like being out right fucking ignored. Then the kid goes ahead and talks as if I didn't say shit!

"Follow me," was his crisp command. A command. From a fucking eight or nine -year-old. Who expects me to listen like I'm some obedient bitch.

It was not childish of me to cross my arms and fold my legs and outright turn my shoulder to him. Neither was me ignoring the stare I could feel the kid drilling in my head. It's perfectly within my rights. Wait, do I even _get_ rights here? I need to look up the village's rules and shit later some time.

I can still feel the stare but I'm as stubborn as a mule and I'm not going to move. Really, I already knew where I was. This isn't the basement, and this isn't really a cell so I wasn't arrested or anything. It was just a room. Plus the kid kinda gave everything away with his blank white mask. Hell, him even being here gave it away!

Which leads to the most important question: what the fuck am I going to eat later? At least Kizashi had the decency to actually feed me some of his leftovers from lunch, granted I always got food poisoning but still! Who fucking knows what they get served here. Ration bars? Ew. Those things are practically small, portable bricks. Which will be used as such if I get my hands on them.

My very important train of thought got derailed when the kid just grabbed me by my jacket hoodie. It was so abrupt that I nearly choked. But like all jackets, there was zipper and I was soon free. Only to be pinned down with my wrists tied behind my back. Being sat on is not good for possibly broken or bruised ribs. Neither is having a shoulder shoved in them. Actually, being carried over the shoulder isn't fun at all in any situation.

"When they say you gotta 'sweep her off her feet' they don't mean it literally ya know?" I was met with silence which was really annoying. I don't like being ignored, not when I don't want to be. So I tried kicking, only to have my legs bent awkwardly as the kid pinned them under his arms.

Well, then. Brat.

The kid carries me through an abundance of halls. Left, right, left, left, right, oh wait no that was another left. It was boring and too tedious to try and remember. I'd only be remembering my way back to my cell. Quite pointless if you ask me. But no one does. So everyone is left in their stupidity to die.

Then he stops and knocks. So, we arrive. Where? I have no idea. If I'm right though, then we're meeting with Old Man Mummy. Not cool. How the hell does Kizashi even know that crazed bastard? The asshole doesn't have any reason to associate with him. What the fuck changed because this obviously isn't canon. But it never was, was it? Not since my birth. Most certainly not since Mother's death.

What a drag. This is absolutely bullshit.

I was oh so gently placed on the ground _(read: dropped like some bag of fucking potatoes)_ in front of a desk. And behind the metal desk sat a man. Well, not so much a man…

"The years have _not_ been kind to you. Like, at all."

I say one, just _one_ thing, and I'm nearly knocked unconscious again. Honestly, if no one was going to speak the fuck up then I might as well! No one even thanks me for getting this shit of a conversation started! Rude ass fuckers.

The Mummy— actually no, let's call him...Dino. Since it's almost like his actually name and it's degrading because it's a kid word and I suck at nicknames. So, meet Dino.

Dino steepled his fingers on the table as he leaned forward to peer down at me. He look totally unaffected by my insult. Which is an insult to my person.

"Haruno Sakura," he says just like when I first saw him.

"Gasp! You know my name! Oh no! What ever will I do?" I snark while widening my eyes and pretending to be confused and scared.

He didn't buy it. I wouldn't have either but hey, a girl can dream eh? He also didn't appreciate my interruption. If the twitch of his left pinkie was anything to go by. Ah, so he's still vulnerable to some sort of insults. Obviously not any regarding his physical features. Shame. I had so many.

"Haruno Sakura," he repeats but with a little edge to it.

"Old ugly man behind the desk," I return his obviously not-a-greeting.

"My name is Shimura Danzō, child," he spat the word, as if it was going to make a difference. "One of councilmen. It'd be in your best interest to show some respect."

"The fuck you know about _my_ 'best interests'? Did your stupid ass little bugs not see me jump out the fucking window from the highest floor of the god-forsaken building?" I ask incredulously. I know the man has moles, and I'm not talking about the ones on his face.

His eye seems to widen just a bit before he's pinning me a harsh glare. Oh no, a glare from an old geezer! Oh my, what ever will I do? I'm doomed! Pfft—

I fail at keeping my internal laughter, well, internal. Breaking into random cackling _(because I don't_ giggle _and like I'm going to_ laugh _in this creepy room, gotta use its creepiness to my advantage)_ probably isn't a good thing. Then again, you don't see a three-almost-four year old cackle everyday so I say this asshat is our lucky winner.

Dino's lips pull back into a scowl and his hands tighten together as he continues glaring. Then he looks up at my escort and nods sharply. Not sure how a nod equals 'kick the child in the ribs'. They didn't even let me finish my cackling! Everyone here is so fucking rude. Did their mothers teach them nothing!?

The asshat continues to speak, not even waiting for me to finish coughing up blood. "I have a proposition for you Haruno," he starts off and if I wasn't coughing out blood I would've called him a pedophile. "You will join the ranks of ROOT and work explicitly under me. Your father has warned me of your rather foul tongue," he sneers here and I would too if he hadn't nodded again for the boy to punch me as soon as I opened my mouth. "However, I'm more than confident my program will beat that out of you." Over thirty years of being human doesn't just go away, I'm tempted to say but don't, instead I flip him off. My finger is promptly broken.

"Any questions?"

Any questions? Uh, fuck yeah I have questions.

"Why," I start with a slight grimace. My mouth and jaw hurt. Didn't know eight year olds could hit so hard. "Would I work...just under you?" I know all his little masks work under him but I'm sure he doesn't have time to see all of them. If anything he has others assigned for that. I don't question why in the seven hells he wants me to work for him, it'd be useless information and I most likely wouldn't get an answer. If I had to guess however, it'd probably be the fact that I'm in the same age group as all the heirs and little blonde, added with the fact I'm a civilian and wouldn't be missed.

"You will be assigned a very important and life long mission that entails you to report strictly to me," was his prompt answer that didn't explain _shit_. And I tell him just that.

Can't believe I didn't notice the cane that leaned against his desk.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

I eye the gloved hands that hold a brush and bottle of ink. After the wonderful meeting with Dino, I was thrown over Escort's _(that's going to be his name from now on)_ shoulder once again. The kid brought me to this other dark and cement room that had a chair in the middle. He tied me to the chair as someone else walked in. This someone else, now named Gloves, is obviously an adult. And male. He wore the same blank white mask as Escort and you could see his brown hair poking outwardly. Maybe he should be called Hedgehog instead.

Hedgehog nodded his head at Escort and I pouted. Escort forcefully grabbed my chin, opened my mouth and pulled out my tongue. Again, how does a nod mean so many things? And how do you differentiate the meanings?

My musings are interrupted when the kid pulls my tongue out harder. His other hand forcing my mouth to stay open. I'm going to have bruises along my jaw later on. Trying to pull away only tugs on my tongue even more. I glare at the man in front of me as he moves closer, brush already dipped in ink. This is just fucking great. If I move I'll possibly get my tongue ripped off and I like being able to insult people. But if I don't, the Hedgehog is going to draw some shit on my tongue. And if I remember correctly — and of course I do, I have the memory of a fucking elephant — the guy is going to put a seal of some sort to keep me silent about this whole place. And I really wanted to shout my lungs out on how Dino is a pedophile. Maybe I still can…

My thoughts are stopped abruptly at the feeling of my tongue being burned. The stupid ass man just fucking went right ahead and drew his stupid ass seal and then he applys fucking chakra while I'm distracted! Asshole!

Shit, don't scream and don't cry. Don't give them that stupid satisfaction. I need a distraction! Anyone else would try to stab themselves or some shit, focusing on the new pain rather than the original. Which I find stupid quite frankly. You're only hurting yourself more and rendering any ability you have to do something useless.

Instead, let's focus on the fact that I'm apparently going to be a ninja for Konoha's shady ass organization. I mean, I was already going to be a ninja but that doesn't mean I wanted someone else to just fucking decide that! Though, as much as I hate to admit it — and I fucking _hate_ to admit it —, Dino's little group of masks has some benefits.

I'll be ahead of my peers in basically all subjects. There's a wider range of learning. You get trained in what best fits you but also trained in everything else. I get a fucking sword. You don't see an ANBU without a sword. I'll be close to so many village secrets and shit! And, if ever questioned in my knowledge, I can be assured that I did learn it somewhere instead of just from my memories of Anna. All in all, a great deal. Down side is working for Dino the Pedo. Downside is having my loyalty questioned if I'm ever found out. Downside is doing shit I don't fucking want to do. Downside is working for fucking _Danzō_ of all people.

Just fucking great, really.

My face is roughly pushed away once the assholes are done. Hedgehog faces Escort and nods his head towards the left before he takes his leave. Once again, for the fourth or fifth fucking time, how do these people know the differences in the nods!?

I'm not given any time to speculate on that question as I'm untied and thrown over the shoulder once again. Joy.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

Now, while I'm not too educated on any sort of 'combat training', I'm pretty sure that children beating the absolute shit out of each other doesn't count. At all.

Goes to show how much of an ass Dino is.

Escort left me on a balcony that looks down at a large open area where a bunch of other children _(all physically older than me by at least four years)_ were fighting. There stood adult Masks at the sides observing the children. They didn't speak and they didn't move to intervene when a child was almost killed. They didn't do anything when one child threw their opponent into another pair of children fighting. No one did shit when a child cried out in anguish, having had their arm bent the wrong way, or when one child now had three shuriken stuck in their body.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you hitting your peers is bad?" It was only natural that I was the one to make the room freeze. "Or at the very least _killing_ your peers is bad?" Since this world revolves around beating your peers to improve. Pretty sure these people call it sparring but what do I know? Any sort of training I did before was attending the gym every third night. Learning how to punch or kick someone was done on the field. Except for learning how to shoot someone. I was personally taught how to do that, lest I shoot an ally, or even myself.

"Haruno," one of the Masks called out while stepping towards me. Seriously though, what is it with these strangers knowing my name but not the Old Coot of a Hokage? "You will be training with this group every third day. Every second day you will personally taught. And every day you will receive tutoring."

Uh, what? Since when did I have a training schedule?

There's no use arguing over this matter, since I truly have no say in it. The moment they marked my tongue was the moment I 'agreed' to this. It was the moment I signed over my life. Doesn't mean I'll do shit willingly, or that I won't complain. Will it get me in more trouble than it's worth? Probably. Do I have any self-preservation? Quite frankly, no. If this 'program' is going to esstaintionaly be my death than I would like to die knowing I annoyed the absolute fuck out of everyone here.

How depressing. I have no life goals. At least as Anna I had the goal of obtaining enough money to buy a mansion out in the country — or so I told everyone. Really I just wanted to be able to go the hell and meet some demons and possibly upsurge the Devil. Look at how well that went.

"What about my sleeping quarters or lunch?" And what of that first day?

My schedule is practically this:

Monday, tutoring

Tuesday, personal training and tutoring

Wednesday, group training and tutoring

And so on. My First days are practically free. Or is tutoring going to be an all day sort of thing? I hope not. I didn't go to College for a reason people.

"Danzō-sama has specified that you are to return back to your home to keep an appearance," Mask answers only _one_ of my questions. Looks like I'm stuck with Kizashi's food poisoning. Better than dry rations or whatever they serve here. The appearance part makes some sense. Don't want people thinking I'm dead or something. Even though I might as well be.

"Right," I drawl as my eyes scan the children that went back to fighting after Mask first spoke. "So why the hell am I here?"

"Your first group training starts now."

Well, fuck. At least that means tomorrow will just be tutoring. Though, eyeing the ruthlessness of the children before me, that is if I live until tomorrow. It's truly a sad thing when a thirty-something-year-old woman becomes worried over the fact that her own death will be at the hands of some second graders.

It's an even sadder thing when second graders are learning how to kill.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**


	10. Badass, Kickass -- ow!

Let it be known that as Anna Hethingway, I absolutely _loathed_ seeing those younger than me fight and learn how to make a headshot from ten meters away while in a crowd. As Haruno Sakura, that fact has not changed _(except instead of seeing children learning how to shoot a gun, they're learning how to throw small knives)_. 

But let it also be known that I have never had any qualms with fighting those my age. Which is quite the conundrum considering that I am currently almost the age of being four. It's quite difficult, trying to place my actions _somewhere_ on my moral scale.

But considering that this world has some pretty fucked up morals as it is, I think me metaphorically throwing my actions blindly on the scale is better than what most people here do.  
Because in no world, universe, dimension is kidnapping orphans and experimenting on them because you're a fucking coward that can't look death in the fucking eyes considered acceptable. Fuck you Orochimaru. And your lapdog too.

Either fucking way, may we all agree that the asshole known as Shimura Danzō is the worst out of every villain in the Narutoverse? If you say otherwise I will fucking cut you.

However, this isn't really the time for me to pour out my view on the 'worst' and 'best' of the villains and heroes. No, this is about the fact that I got my ass handed to me by a boy only two years older. My ego was critically damaged. But considering I just started on training to actually fight instead of just building up my strength, I think I can live with my ego being broken for the next year or so.

Following up on that train of thought, currently I'm being whacked over the head by my personal instructor. It’s been about two or three weeks, keeping track of the days is hard when you're both physically and mentally exhausted. Turns out that my studying days are an all day sort of thing — I have yet to be given a break or go back to the house. It's not bad per se, it's just that having to listen to the same monotone of the same person for over five fucking hours gets boring fast.

It doesn't help that I won't be getting to put my studies into practical use for another month or so. Making my knowledge on how to silently walk without the help of chakra useless. Which is stupid since it's just walking but fuck no, if I'm caught trying to do so I get thrown inside _the room_. Which is like every other room in this dry as fuck place except that it's used specifically for punishing the disobedient. Usually, from what I have observed during the times someone else is in there, the procedure takes about half an hour. Apparently I'm breaking the record by staying there for three hours or longer. Woop-dee-do.

Can I be blamed for cursing the Masks and their pedophile of a leader out? Apparently yes I can.  
"Focus," comes the strict, monotone command of my instructor. He has dull brown hair like the majority of the people here, I don't know his eye color but I would guess brown as well, and he stands to be about six feet. I've come to call him Broady for his broad shoulders, a tell that he uses his upper strength a lot. "Sit up straight."

I glare up at him, my fists clenching and my toes curling. I was currently sitting in the seiza position and my legs were fucking numb. This is fucking bullshit. Who the fucking hell came up with this shitty sitting position? If I didn't want a few more hours to recover from my visit to _the room_ earlier this morning then I would have flicked Broady off and slouched back.

As it is, I'm not fully suicidal. A shame.

Broady began his lesson once again, monotonously talking about how great it is to work under Danzō. This isn't even a lesson, it's just a session of indoctrination. Useless and super boring. There's been about over ten of these that have been given to me so far, two are given daily. Up next will be the 'why emotion to a shinobi is useless and should be disregarded' speech. It's because of these sessions that I'm so often sent to _the room_. Not my fault there's so many holes in their ways!

Only after these is the interesting stuff that I stay quiet for. I becoming a fucking ninja and I will not deny that this place has what I need. Not to mention I'll sooner or later meet the boy that grows up to call Canon-Sakura 'Ugly'. I wonder what my nickname will be? I hope it isn't the same.

My eyes follow the way Broady very clearly reaches in an intended smack. I snarl at him but sit up straighter. His hand retreats and his speech continues. Blocking him out because fuck that. Now, the problem of not doing any practical work for another month. It's obvious that I'm being kept away from that because I'm 'unloyal'. An actress I was not in my last life but if I do say so myself I was pretty damn good. Besides, it's not that hard to pretend your loyal to someone. People do it all the time in Anna's world!

But, problem: Danzō _knows_ I'm a stubborn bitch that won't just suddenly start listening to him — hence the multiple speeches a day.

It'll need to be gradual. To start would be lessening my visits to the room. Make it seem like I've started to become loyal just to avoid torture. Which means I'll need to have a reason for me to avoid torture — so far I'm able to sustain whatever shit they throw at me which logically means that I'll still rebel because I know I can handle it. Make the pedophile Dino-man think that I've realized that I can't handle it. So...more torturous torture? Seems reasonable. Only downside is: can I actually handle it?

I would have groaned while running a hand through my hair if I wasn't still staring at Broady's hands catching the twitch in them, or if my nails weren't making my palms bleed. It wouldn't do to forget my surroundings just because I'm caught up in my thoughts planning.

I fucking hate this. Life sucks, why couldn't I have been a zombie instead? Yeah, the idea of eating other humans is gross but I'm sure I would have gotten used to it. And it's not like I would have done anything bad — just take over the world is all. But fuck no, I'm stuck being a fucking ninja for fucks sake.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


If I'm being honest, I always preferred to attack from afar. Less chance of myself being injured. But there's just something about being able to punch someone in the face up close and being able to knock someone bigger than you down.

The same can not be said the other way around.

"What the fuck does he feed you people!?" I scream in frustration.

Currently was group training, and my opponent — a boy only two or so years older — just tackled me and is fucking _sitting_ on me. The kid has my arms pinned behind my back, sitting on them, as he pulls on my hair exposing my neck. A kunai is rested against my throat, ready to decapitate me like I'm some fucking animal.

My arms are in pain but I mostly feel frustration and anger. Fucking twenty or so years of being a badass motherfucker and I'm being sat on by a six-year-old. My pride has been wounded.

I can see the Mask that was tasked to supervise walking over, ready to call the match. I grit my teeth in annoyance. It's been what? Three weeks maybe and I'm still losing? After all that shit with Kizashi?

" _OH FUCK NO!_ " I scream in english as I lift my legs behind me, I swing them back and forth to get used to the movement for a quick second before putting as much strength as I could in the last swing — hitting my opponent in the back of the head.

I must have hit pretty hard since he completely let me go to hold his head. Using the opportunity for what it is, I stretch my hand out and feel for _something_ —

I just pinched the brat on the ass.

I JUST—

Holy shit. Does this make me a pedophile? Am I now as bad as Danzō and Orochimaru?

As I was busy internally panicking and crying, the boy rolled off of me, backing away quickly. The Mask stopped moving over and started to walk back to where he stood to supervise.

I instinctively began to lift myself up.

I can't be Orochimaru and Danzō bad. I'll sooner take my own life! I am _not_ some deranged pedophile. I didn't even know where I was going to pinch. It's a coincidence. That's all, and that doesn't make me a pedophile. Calm down, just calm down. You're better than this.

" _Right, I'm better than this - than them_ ," I sigh out, not really noticing how my opponent is running at me, " _I'm Anna fucking Hethingway, I'm Haruno motherfucking Sakura._ " I stand up straight, dodging the low punch that was aimed at me. I grab the kid's fist and push it away from me, lifting my other hand up and punching the kid in the face. I look over at the proctor _(because that's what he is, this isn't training or playing, this is a fucking_ fight, _you don't supervise fights)_. 

Glaring at the proctor I double flick him off before looking back at the kid. I hide a grimace and keep my face straight. If fucking Danzō wants a fucking perfect fucking weapon, I'll fucking give him one.  
The bitch better watch out though.

I'm a motherfucking double edged sword.

" _Forgive me_ ," I whisper as the kid gets back up.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


I win the stupid ass fight and I still land my ass in _the room_. I call bullshit. Absolute bullshit. So I continue to shout bullshit in the Mask's covered face. Which is really weird, do they always wear those things? What about sleep? Eating? Holy Hell, can they even breathe with that shit on? I mean, one would assume so but this is Danzō for hell's sake.

I grit my teeth as the Mask cuts another line on my arm with the kunai. I didn't think torture would be a way for punishing someone here. Despite being a really bad place both literally and morally, I never pegged this place for torture. Honestly, I would think running suicide missions and guaranteed-death training would be the way for punishments.

Though, from what I have observed, I'm a special case. So special in fact, that fucking Dino decides to pay me a visit in _the room_. 

"The fuck you doing here?" Are the first words out of mouth upon seeing his ugly ass walk through the door. "Hey, wanna switch? Don't worry, I'll be sure to make you bleed so the blood takes the attention away from your hideous appearance." I grin despite my entire fucking body tensing up.

I can't help it! I need to insult people! Even if those people are completely capable of killing me — no, _especially_ if they can and will kill me. As if I'm about to fucking die quiet.

Ah shit, the scar face Dino was saying something. "Can you repeat that? I totally wasn't paying attention," I cut him off before I miss everything he can say.

I'm promptly smacked across the face with his cane.

Not going to lie, but I fucking want one when I'm older. That shit is fucking useful.

The Dino sneers, "You'll be returned to your home soon enough. The demon—"

He stops, glares and releases a good chunk of his killing intent. All because I fucking spat at him. Well, what the hell does he expect? For me not to do shit when he calls little blonde a damn demon?

Dino stabs my stomach with his cane, twisting and digging it into my most-likely broken ribs making me wheeze momentarily.

"The _demon_ ," he practically hisses, waiting for me to retaliate. I'm too out of breath to do much but lift my middle finger at him. His glare intensifies and adds some more pressure to his cane. "The demon has been acquiring about your presence to the Hokage. From now on, your days of study will be cut to early morning and late night sessions. You will be allowed to roam the village in the afternoon."

He removes his cane from my stomach and turns to walk out but speaks to Mask that was previously torturing me. "Finish up here then take her to see the medic," he orders while walking out, "Her first outing starts today."

Before he can fully leave, I quickly regain my breath and shout to the best of my abilities. "Hold up! I have some questions!" Fortunately for me he stops.

I have an outline of a plan but I need more information to put greater detail to my plan. I already know and can predict the basics of my situation. I'm going to be his little bug and spy on all the clan heirs and heiress, I'm going to have to get close to them and have them in my favors or whatever. You know, the really basic stuff. But obviously the most important thing would be little blonde and the little emo-duck. Little blonde for the furry company and emo-duck because Dino the pedophile wants to kill his family.

But that's everything that I know already. There are things he has done or will do that I don't know about. And well, I hate not being in the know.

The hideous Dino glances over and I reframe from cringing. Instead I school my expression to one of great reluctance and hesitant acceptance. Swallowing my blood and saliva, I calmly ask, "What do I need to do?"

He scrutinizes me carefully and I make sure to have a small sneer on my lips. To give up after only two or three weeks when I've gone through torture for nearly two years is too suspicious. I'll need to get him to believe that I think this is an opportunity to escape the hell of Kizashi. Make him think that I'll see this hell-hole as a 'safe haven' away from Kizashi. Make the bastard actually believe that he's won, that it won't be much longer till I'm loyal.

The old fart turns away and begins to walk out again. His parting words are, "That will be discussed after you see the healer and before you're released."

Once the door is closed and the Mask has moved to stand in front of me again, I huff and roll my eyes.

"The fucking hell? Why he gotta make it sound like I'm some fucking animal?"

I did _not_ black out from pain. Nope. Not at all.

_(I'm killing every adult asshole here.)_

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


Holy hell. No motherfucking way. I totally forgot about this fucker! Shit.

I'm currently in the..well, let's just call it the Nurse's Office. The medic here also wears a mask and is female - the first female I have met here thus far. I'm sitting on a very uncomfortable metal table as the medic uses her voodoo to fix the more visible injuries and thankfully she fixes my ribs a little. Everything else, she adds some slave and slaps a bandage on me. Which, _ow_. 

I don't make sound and try not to make any faces. I've had my arm broken one too many times as Anna for pissing off the gang's medic. No one would believe me when I said that their medics should be included in their fights. They're fucking ruthless!

I just silently watch the medic's movements, body sore and tired. The medic was in the process of bandaging my arms when the door opens and some munchkin just waltzes in. It wouldn't have mattered to me if the blank mask and hair didn't catch my attention. I mean seriously, who else do I know would be currently like six years older than me and in ROOT? And who many characters have grey hair?

I completely blanked about the Snakes lapdog. Yakushi Kabuto.

I mean, I know the fucker was in ROOT but shit, I forgot how young he entered. He has to be at least ten right now. From what I can remember, the boy only entered ROOT to help his adoptive mother because Dino threatened them or some shit. And then he killed her I think? The boy was on some mission and got caught and fought his mother or something close to that. He looked to be like maybe fourteen or maybe seventeen? And that's how the Snake found him and yeah. The story of how the young boy in front of me became one of the main villains in Naruto.

Ugh. And if I remember correctly, it's all because Kabuto had an identity crisis. He had amnesia at like five? And I'm more than sure that Dino had him trained in espionage. I don't blame the boy actually, I'd have an identity crisis too. But I wouldn't join fucking Orochimaru!

Ugghhhhh. I don't know what to do. Get to him before Dino's teachings can completely corrupt him and before Orochimaru, or leave him the fuck alone. Even if I did get to him, what's to say he won't still go to the Snake? But then I would know I at least tried.

Fuck my soft spot for shit under the age of twenty-one.

Now, how do I approach him?

"Oi! Are you really old and just short or is that a natural hair color? It's fucking weird," I shout out to him.

Not my best but it's not like I can save him from bullies. At least I made him stop whatever it was he was doing. He looked to be thinking on whether he should turn to me or continue working. He didn't have to think long since the door opened and a Mask stepped in. I saw the way the kid seemed to twitch and he quickly got back to work.

Stupid Mask, the fuck does he want that he had to ruin perhaps the only chance I'll get to meet Kabuto?

"Haruno," he says in that same bland tone as everyone else here, "You are needed in Lord Danzo's office."

"The asshole can't fucking wait? I'm pretty sure my leg is also broken," I sneer.

I know I'm the one to technically set up this meeting but that doesn't mean I wanna see the fucker twice in less than twenty-four hours.

The medic apparently didn't appreciate my words. Bitch broke my pinky finger and pressed down on it for a minute before fixing it. Too bad for her, I've felt worse.

"Alright, fuck. I'm going. Bitch."

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


Not going to lie, it was pretty awkward. Would've been uncomfortable too if I wasn't used to be stared down at. I never did like sitting straight, I preferred to slouch. I had walked in looking subdued. I looked, and quite honestly felt, exhausted. I kept a small scowl on my features, eyeing my surroundings. I made it obvious that I was reluctant but slowly accepting things. It wouldn't take much longer until Dino was convinced that he had me under his thumb.

This entire meeting is really just for me to better convince Dino of my 'loyalty'. And to hash out the details of this entire 'mission'. A way to find loopholes really. I fucking love loopholes. They make things so much more interesting.

I listened as intently as I could after being hit over the head with his cane for slouching. I scowled but straightened up anyways. I _am_ supposed to be making progress here.

So far, I've just been told that I'm to make friends with little blonde, little duck, and all the other little kids that are important. I had to stop him here to question if that meant I would need to attend the Academy. He was silent for some moments before confirming.

Pretty smug that I thought of that and not him.

He went on to explain that as time passes, the more I'll be allowed outside to better forge the bonds of friendship. I stared at him in disgust. That sounded like some shit those magic horses would sprout. I didn't interrupt though, no matter how much I wanted to call him out of secretly being a My Little Pony. He wouldn't get the reference anyways, but he'll know I insulted him in some way.

The man went on to explain my goals - information. That's literally it. Information.

"How is knowing some four-year-old's favorite color important?" I was promptly smacked over the head. He glared at me and began to mutter to himself. I pretty sure I heard something about adding a lesson to my schedule. Something about gathering? I can safely guess I'll be learning about interrogation soon. Fun.

Mummy Man - nah, that sounds weird. I'll stick to Dino Pedo.

So Dino Pedo continues with this very boring meeting. Apparently I'm to report about _everything_ I learn during my 'outings'.

Don't worry Dino, I'll be sure to tell you about learning where children come from and why they're so ugly. I'll even be sure to use this time to figure out why you haven't grown out of your ugly yet, though you probably never will and it's just the way you were born.

He didn't appreciate the side comments.

****

**ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These were already written chapters so yeah
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and will stick around for the next update


	11. Red White Blue -- America!?

The process of being let out was tedious and too fucking complicated. I get knocked the fuck out to be transported like some damn cargo back to my house. I woke up on the fucking kitchen counter of all places. 

After cursing off my driver and falling off the counter, I promptly raided the kitchen. And was severely disappointed. Asshole didn’t even have an apple in here! It was just rations and rations and more of those bricks of dried food. 

At least the place had some knives I could stash under my shirt. I also stashed some of those rations. Who knows when I’ll need a brick? I can probably throw them at people that annoy me. That’ll be fun. 

Sighing, I searched the rest of the house. My room is still pink and for a baby, the Asshole’s room is bare and just disgusting, the restroom smells strongly of bleach, and the basement is still dark, smelly, and rat infested. 

After that lovely tour, I finally left the place to burn. 

I wish. 

Apparently I have a watcher. Bitch stopped me before I could start a fire. Shoved me to the front door before disappearing. I know stalkers are a thing here, starting at the ripe age of six, but fuck I don’t want one. 

Glaring at anything in front of me, I walked out of the house and down the steps only to stop at the fence. 

I have absolutely no fucking clue on where the hell I am. How the fuck am I supposed to find little blonde? How the hell did I find him in the first place? 

“ _I hate my lives_ ,” I mutter before picking some direction and walking off. 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


So, there’s good news and then there’s bad news. Good news is that I have found a park. Bad news is that little blonde isn’t here. Oh, and I guess getting cornered by other three to four years old is also bad news.

I honestly don’t know how it happened or why for that matter. What I do know is that this kid has one bad haircut. Not bad as in cool but bad as in _bad_. Also, staring seems to have annoyed the brat so now I’m being poked in the chest.

“Excuse you, anyone ever tell you to keep your hands to yourself,” I interrupt whatever the hell the chick was gonna say. She glares...I think. I do know she’s mad though or maybe embrassessed by the way her face is getting red. 

She sneers, “Just ‘cause you have a pretty hair color ya think ya can come here and take all the attention for ya self--”

“Whoa,” I interrupt her again because what the fuck? “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. Or who the hell you are.” I swatt her hand away and step back to step around her and the other two. “Now excuse me, I have better things to do than listen to you whine like a little bitch.”

My actions are justified. I _swear_ they are.

The purple haired girl, the one to start this entire fiasco, didn’t like being ignored apparently. I was two feet away when she decided to continue our ‘talk’. By that I mean turning around and pulling on my hair. 

Not my fault I punched her in the face! The chick started it and I’ll damn well finish it! I don’t have time for this girl’s shit.

“Look, I don’t care who you are but if you insist on getting my attention -- _don’t_ attack the hair,” I advise while wiping my bloody knuckles on my pants. The broken nose _might_ be my fault, who can say? 

Damn. I’m so worked up that I have resorted to punching children.

Oh and now she’s crying, and her two friends and screaming. Great, now adults are coming around. Fuck this shit, I’m out.

I would have been too if this tall ass motherfucker didn’t grab me out of fucking nowhere. 

“Where do you think you’re running off to?” He asks with a bright smile. 

I only glare at him. He looks to be like..eleven?, twelve? Somewhere around there. Has black curly hair and black eyes. He’s pretty tall, even for his age. Wears dark colors with a crest on the sleeves, a green vest -- wait a fucking minute. I know this kid. This is fucking Uchiha Shisui.

“That’s none of your fucking business,” I answer, my hands reaching into my pockets. 

He blinks, obviously taken aback. I don’t really give him any time for any further reaction. I grab one of the rations from my pocket and throw it at his face. He lets go of me, flinching back from reflex. 

I run as soon as I hit the ground, only to run into _another_ one. 

Uchiha Itachi only stares at his friend and I in amusement.

Glaring up at the boy that has my arms pinned to my side, I can only spit out a single curse, “Fuck.”

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


Apparently punching someone else is assault _(even though they had it coming)_. So is throwing a brick at someone’s face. I didn’t think such laws applied to toddlers. 

At the time Shisui wanted to return me to my guardian and apologize to the girl I punched _(her name is Ami, yeah_ that _Ami)_. I took one look at her still crying face and promptly said, “Your fault.” 

Her mother didn’t like that and wanted to speak to my mother so I told the hag to, “Go die then maybe you can meet her but I doubt it, she’s in heaven and you’re frankly going to hell.”

Shisui was quick to diffuse the situation as Itachi dragged me away. He asked where my sperm donor was to which I responded with, “Hopefully rotting in hell.”

Yeah, he didn’t like that. And that’s how I ended up sitting in front of the prissy princess himself. 

“My actions are completely justified,” I state while glaring up at the man. Uchiha Fugaku is a tough man to crack. His poker face game is strong.

He does sigh however and looks quite disgruntled. “Sakura, was it?” he asks but doesn’t wait for an answer. “Your father has already been notified and will be on his way to pick you up.” 

I can’t believe I was caught by the cops and I’m only three years in! Not once was I actually caught by the cops as Anna. Stupid toddler body, stupid toddlers, stupid ninjas and their relfexes. 

“This is complete bullshit,” I state, “I demand a lawyer.” 

I’m completely ignored which _rude_. 

This is _not_ a good way to start my day off. I just want to find little blonde, steal more food for him, maybe punch a few bullies, throw rations at rude food vendors, teach little blonde how to punch or perhaps even kick down doors. 

I had it all planned out! But _no_. A little girl decided she wasn’t getting enough attention and decided to pick a fight with the wrong person. A ninja also just _had_ to be in the area and here the screaming and crying of the brats. 

Well, at least Danzō will get an interesting report. I wonder how my watcher is feeling about this. I’m not stupid to think that they won’t report as well. She’ll probably talk a lot of shit on me too. And then I’ll be sent to _the room_ again while getting even more boring ass lectures. 

There’s a knock before the door opens to reveal the _clearly_ fake worried expression of one Haruno Kizashi. He smiles at me and I flip him off. 

“Thank you for notifying me Fugaku,” he sighs and hold the fuck up. Why the hell is he greeting the Uchiha Clan Head like some old buddy. 

“It isn’t a problem Kizashi,” the High queen responds. 

“Holy fucking shit. You two _know_ each other? What the actual fuck. No. Bullshit.” I interrupt whatever the hell they were going to say and stand up. I’m so done with all this horse shit. Why couldn’t I have died during orange hello kitty’s attack? 

I ignore Fu-Chan and push past Kizashi, escorting myself out. I can’t believe Kizashi knows a cop. And not any cop, no. He knows the motherfucking chief! I bet he’s even buddy-buddy with some other cops here too. 

I really am fucked. 

I can hear Kizashi apologize and walk up behind me. I ignore him as I walk out of that station and just keep walking. He doesn’t say anything which is really weird and annoying. I know he’s staring. Probably wearing some sad-ass face for the public. 

I just about turn a seventh corner when he says some shit about some fuckery or another _(a mission, he’s going on a mission)_. Then he just poofs like the fatass he is. 

Ugh.

Some day off this is turning out to be. 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


Oh thank the devil! I’ve finally found little blond.  
And curse the gods because guess who else is here? 

Ami the bitch and Sasuke the Emo Duck. 

I’m standing by the trees surrounding the park, staying out of the way because if Emo Duck is here then so is the Goth Princess. I can see the whole park perfectly from my spot. Little blonde all alone at the swings and little Emo in the sandbox surrounded by little screeching girls, including Ami. 

I frown when I see one reach out to touch little Emo. The kid is obviously uncomfortable and mad but apparently too damn polite. His mother is raising him right unfortunately. 

I make my way to little blonde, keeping my eyes on little Emo to see if any of the girls get _too_ touchy. You never know with these ones, they’re a rabid race: fan girls. 

“Hey little blonde!” I greet with a salute. His head practically snaps up to see me. His mouth is open in surprise and his eyes are wide. “It’s been what? Two, three weeks? I got in trouble and wasn’t able to leave the house until today,” I lie with a shrug. 

“You…,” he whispers and holy fuck is he going to cry!? The hell!? Was it something I said!? “You’re not afraid?” He practically whimpers. 

I only tilt my head in faux confusion, “Why would I be afraid of you? You’re just little blonde.” 

He doesn’t necessarily burst into tears but it’s a damn near thing. He wipes at his eyes with his sleeve, “Naruto. My name is Uzumaki Naruto.”

I roll my eyes, “Well duh, who else could you be? I know your name but I like calling you little blonde. My name’s Sakura. Call me Sakura, no -San or -Chan or other shit like that.” 

He smiles at me, “Okay, Sakura!” 

I nod and was about to say something when I catch sight of the girls again. One of them is literally reaching for his _hair_. 

I turn their direction, glare in place because fuck them! Children or not, this is practically sexual assault! 

“Hey! You little shits!” I shout at them. Ami is the only one who seems to hear and turns to look me, clearly remembering me. “Yeah I’m talking about you too Ami!” Apparently the other girls know Ami so they all turn to look at me upon hearing her name. 

“What the fuck you think your doing! Leave the boy alone you shits!” Because calling them anything else would be kinda rude, lesson learned. 

Ami turns an ugly red. “You shut up!” 

I pause at that and stare at her as I begin making my way over. “The hell you just say to me?” I finally respond calmly upon reaching them. I pushed my way through the hoard to reach Sasuke and stand in front of him, acting as a buffer between him and Ami. 

She seems to try to scowl at me. “I said shut up! 

My expression blanks as I stare at her. 

“You just want Sasuke-Kun’s attention for yourself,” some other girl screams and what the fuck, she’s like seven! They really are a rabid race. 

I look over my shoulder at him. He’s staring at me in surprise but once he sees me looking at his clan symbol, crest, whatever the fuck it’s called, he clenches his fists and glares. Not bad at it too. I’m still better. 

I snort and roll my eyes at him to show I couldn’t give any less of a fuck. I turn back to Ami and pull my lips back in disgust. Really I’m just making a show. It’s fun to see how people react at being purposely ignored and looked down at. And well, I can’t do that to adults with this face and body. 

“Listen here you little fucks—,” I don’t get to finish because some bitch decided that if she wasn’t getting what she wanted, she’d get it by force. By _slapping_ me. 

Her hand was still raised in the air from where she slapped me, and my head was still turned to the side. The girls all gasped but some did giggle. I look over to see Sasuke staring in small horror. 

“Sasuke, was it?” I sat quietly while moving my head back to stare at Ami. I see him nod. “You saw that right?” Another nod. “She attacked first, right?” Nod. “So you’ll back me up when I say it’s self defense, yeah?” He looks confused but nods. 

I grin. 

“Great,” I say before letting out a war cry and tackling Ami.

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


It wasn’t so much of a fight but me beating their asses. In _self-defense_ I’d like to add. Not once did I attack someone first. Ami slapped me, I tackled her. Green haired kid pulled my hair, I punched her. Brown haired kid 1 stepped on me, I kicked her. Brown haired kid 2 pushed me, I threw her to the ground. Black haired kid pinched me, I pulled her hair out some. 

See where I’m going with this? All self defense. Except maybe the biting. I did that when someone’s appendage was too damn close. I’m sure they still attacked first. 

I didn’t let up so long as someone was still aiming to hit me. So even though most were crying on the ground, if someone was still standing I would fight. That didn’t mean I didn’t notice how the brats’ crying were calling all the attention to us. 

I wasn’t all that surprised when a familiar curly black-haired teen grabbed me before I could punch another brown-haired kid for pinching me. Shisui pulled me away as parents began fretting over their offspring. I didn’t protest because it’s not like _I_ started that fight. 

I’m currently hanging in the air by the kid’s hold as he walked over to where Itachi is talking with Sasuke. The princess was practically expressionless as Emo Duck was looking indignant. 

I’m dropped next to Sasuke as soon as we’re close. He jumps a little when I land and glare at his cousin. He doesn’t say anything and is only staring. I huff but keep my attention on the two in front of me. 

“Obviously,” I start before they could, “It was all self-defense.” 

Itachi raises a brow, looking unimpressed. Shisui looks amused somewhat but is frowning at me. He sighs and crouches down to look me in the eye. 

“Shouldn’t you be at the station, or at home?” He finally asks. 

“Shouldn’t you be in the trash where you belong?” Is my quick retort. 

His eye twitches and he smiles. “Funny,” he says flatly. 

I nod, making a show of looking at his features. “I agree, you are pretty funny looking. Maybe not the trash but buried deep so no one can look at that,” I gesture to his face. 

“Is that a threat?” He asks casually if not curiously. 

“Do you want it to be?” I ask back. We stare at each other for what seems to be a long time before looking away at the same time when Itachi sighs. 

“What happened?” He gets straight to the point. 

I place my hands on my nonexistent hips and scowl. I nod to where all the kids are still crying, “Those little shits were making Sas-something here uncomfortable. Told them to fuck off. The little bitch Ami slapped me, so I tackled her.”

“My name is Sasuke,” little duck says looking something annoyed that I may have forgotten already. 

“Sasuke is this true?” Itachi asks because obviously they won’t trust my word. What bullshit. Why the fuck would I ever lie? What reason do I have to lie? 

Little duck nods his head vigorously, “Yeah! All the girls were getting too close, I tried to tell them to leave me alone but they wouldn’t listen. Then- then one tried to touch me…”

I nod in agreement and meet Itachi’s eyes, “It’s true. I was over there by the swings when I saw one try to grab him. He would try and tell them to politely fuck off but they just got closer and louder. I shouted at them when one went for the hair. Got there before anyone could actually touch him.” No thank you anyone? Hello? Just saved your sibling from rape here! 

“Wait, so you’re saying that you fought for Sasuke-Chan?” Shisui asks while Itachi looks greatly disgusted and disturbed. 

“I _fought_ because I was _slapped_ ,” I almost snap at the kid. Follow along please! Sighing, I shrug a shoulder. I’m way too high-strung. “But if they didn’t attack first and wouldn’t fuck off then yeah I would’ve thrown the first punch. Then I would drag little duck here to the swings. No one would bother him there, not with me or little blonde there.”

Apparently that was the right thing to say because it seems that I’m being looked at in a new light or some shit. Sushi smiles at me and pats my head before standing back up. 

“I like you kid.” 

“Pedophile.” 

He laughs but seems to remember something and looks at me confused. “Who’s ‘little blonde’?” 

I point over to the swings where Naruto is standing looking my way nervously. His eyes keep flickering between me and the only actual ninjas here. He almost flinches when Shisui turns to look at him. Apparently Sushi notices so he smiles and waves. Naruto seems to go into shock. 

“You broke him you asshole,” I mutter before making my way over. Might as well introduce everyone. 

I’m halfway there when I remember something and turn to look back at the three Uchihas following me. “You say anything bad to him and I _will_ fight you,” to make my point I reach a hand into my pocket. 

“You couldn’t possibly have more,” Sushi whispers horrified. 

“I have at _least_ ten more,” I smirk before turning back around. 

Little blonde is fidgeting by the time I get there. I pat his head while looking at Sasuke. “Little blonde,” I say getting his attention, “meet little duck.”

“My name’s Sasuke!” He almost shouts while turning red. 

“I know, and I don’t care. You’re little duck now, like he’s little blonde,” I rebut with a wave of my hand. Sasuke pouts but doesn’t say anything. Instead he turns to Naruto. 

“What’s your name?” He asks curiously. 

Naruto looks at Sasuke suspiciously before turning to look at me, I blink but nod for him to answer. “I’m...my name’s Naruto,” he says hesitantly. 

I clap my hands, “And I’m Sakura. No -San or -Chan, or any of that shit with me. If you do, I’ll cut you.”

Sushi snorts looking amused. “Or you'll _what_? me? That’s cute Sakura-chan~!” 

I grin as I pull out the kitchen knife I’ve been carrying around with me since leaving the house. “Yeah, I’ll cut you.”

“WHY DO YOU HAVE A KNIFE!?”

“Who _doesn’t_ carry one?”

“Everyone!”

“Liar! You have some right there! I’m not blind!”

“I’m a shinobi! And these aren’t knives!”

“Tomato potato.” 

“No!”

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t find a good way to end this chapter...but hoped you enjoyed! 
> 
> We’ve officially met the Prissy Princess: Fu-Chan !, Sushi!, The Princess!, and Little Emo Duck! 
> 
> Anyways! ANNOUNCEMENT! 
> 
> I’ve found a new obsession guys: Boku no Hero Academia aka My Hero Academia!
> 
> In other words, I’ll be writing a BNHA Fanfic(s). 
> 
> I’ll be writing an OC one, that one is set to go (I just have to write it). 
> 
> And then there’s this idea:
> 
> What if Anna wasn’t reborn into Naruto but BNHA? And as someone’s twin?  
> —-who’s twin should she be?  
> Todoroki Shoto  
> Shigaraki Tomura
> 
> WHAT DO YOU THINK!??!! Should I?????


	12. But baby it's cold outside~

Danzō didn’t appreciate my report for my first day out. Que adding more lessons to my schedule. But hey, at least now I know how to ‘properly’ give a report as well as what’s ‘proper’ to include. _(How stating that I couldn’t find a solution to his hideous self wasn’t ‘proper’ I will never know, shouldn’t the man at least get to know that he’ll forever be ugly?)_

Either fucking way, the Land of Fire has now turned into the Land of Snow. And I have gone from a malnourished and abused child to a malnourished, abused, and _freezing my fucking ass off_ child. Apparently this is also training, I have to get used to harsh weather as a shinobi. Which I call complete bull, bitch I ain’t even in the fucking academy yet.

At this rate I’ll probably freeze to death instead of starve. And I would have too! Every three days I get to go out and meet the two brats to ‘forge better bonds of friendship’ at the park, and since we’re like three we have supervision. As in Itachi the Emo Princess and Shuisi the Sushi. 

Everyone knows you have to start adding layers when the weather starts getting colder, it’s common sense. And I kept coming in shorts and shirts because that’s all I’ll be provided apparently. Hell, even Naruto has sweaters and pants! _(As in the Hokage finally doing his fucking job even just a little.)_

The point is, Shisui was confused and concerned like any person would be. He asked about it and I lied like the pro I fucking am, and said, “Haven’t seen the motherfucker in like three months, out on a mission or something, I don’t know and don’t care. Hell he could be dead in a ditch and I’d celebrate.” 

After lecturing me about family and the life of a shinobi and all that other shit, he talked with Itachi before leaving. Then came back with _bags_. Bags filled with _clothes_ , and not any clothes oh no, _pink_ clothes. 

“You perverted pedophile. You sicken me. Have you no shame?” I immediately say after looking in the bags. 

I called over Naruto and had him switch with me, I completely ignored his complaints about the color which stopped as soon as he put them on. He then wouldn’t stop talking about how warm the clothes were and never have I wanted to murder the Hokage more than in that moment. 

I had slung my arm around his shoulders, “And if anyone gives you shit about —“ 

“What’s that?”

“It means talking bad or making fun of. Now if anyone gives you any shit about your new clothes you tell me so I can punch them in the face, kick them in the balls, throw them down a flight of stairs, beat them with a bat, and —“

“And that’s enough,” Sushi interrupted. 

I flipped him off but stopped listing the ways I’d hurt someone. Jokes on him, that was my first list for a _civilian_. Ha! 

That was all a week ago. I’ve been going out for about a month now. And still no new clothes, simply because I’d give them to Naruto or some other kids I find. I also know that Dino wouldn’t let me keep any of it so why bother? 

Right now I am being lectured by my personal tutor on the past wars. It’s really just a summary seeing how I’m still pretty young and probably been declared stupid. I mean, they aren’t wrong. I can be a dumbass sometimes, more so in this life considering my self-perseveration has been eliminated. 

The summary includes a lot of talk of Kumo being assholes though. Something about stealing? I mean, it was war. Ya’ll be murdering each other and you’re worried about stealing? The fuck?

I don’t know man, the stealing is being mentioned a lot and I’m sure I’d know why if I was paying attention. It seems somewhat important now that I think about it. 

Anyways, after this I have group training again. I can now take down those that are three to four years older than me. I lose more than half the time and always use under hand tactics but still. Progress. 

From there I go to the Nurse’s Office and try to chat up Kabuto. I still have yet to gain a response but he does nod in greeting sometimes. I also have yet to get _any_ reaction from him. No matter how I insult him or joke or tease, he won’t react! At this rate I might have to mention the orphanage when I talk to him about my days out. 

Don’t worry, I may be an idiot but I’m not stupid. I don’t mention any names or even my nicknames. There’s a high chance I can’t get to him before the Snake Pedophile and I don’t want to be the cause of my own fucking downfall. I also make up more than half of the shit I tell him. So really, it’s not so much as telling him my days off but just some stories to see if he’d react. 

Which he fucking doesn’t. Hate to admit it but the kid is better than me. Then again, he like five or so years older than me. But I’m the one with like, over twenty years of experience! 

“Lord Danzō has called for you,” my tutor announces making me blink. I look around for a moment, remembering I’m supposed to be in a lesson. 

“What? Why? Don’t I have training after this?” I ask annoyed. 

Another thing that’s gained some progress. I’ve slowly stopped my shouting and angry remarks at the Masks and Danzō. My swearing has lessened around them, I’m trying to make them think I’m slowly beginning to listen. I’m pretty sure that if this keeps up, then I’ll get to be able to know all of Danzō’s secrets and be allowed to run missions. 

I’m completely ignored as my tutor becomes my escort and takes me to see the ugly man himself. I glare half-heartedly the whole way, too tired to put much effort really. I’m shoved inside Dino’s office once we arrive making me glare over my shoulder at the man who shoved me. 

Turning around I see Danzō sitting at his desk as always. Though I can’t really call it sitting since he’s in seiza position. He gestures for me to sit across from him and I can only make myself look slightly annoyed. Depending on how long this meeting will be, my legs will be numb at the end. 

After I sit, there’s silence for about two or three minutes. He’s testing me I know but really, why call me over just to have me sit in fucking silence? 

“Kumo is sending some representatives over to discuss and sign a peace treaty,” he begins and fuck, are we at war and I didn’t know? Shit, is this what was being discussed during my lectures? Fuck, I should’ve paid attention. “The date for the signing is also the date of the Hyūga’s Heiress’ third birthday.” 

Oh. _Oh fuck,_ , more like. How could I forget about this? This is the reason that one guy is such an asshole until getting the shit beat out of him by Naruto. 

_This_ is why stealing was being covered so much today. Kumo is kinda known for trying to steal the eyes of Konoha’s Uchiha and Hyūga since they’re such sore losers for not having any kind of clans. 

“I find it suspicious but of course that old fool doesn’t see it as such,” he continues. I’ve noticed that he really doesn’t like the Third. Which I mean, same but that doesn’t mean I try to assassinate the old man. He’ll talk about how much of a fool Hiruzen is given the chance. 

I resist the urge to interrupt him and tell him to get to the fucking point. I’d be sent to _the room_ for insubordination, _again_. I can only stare boredly and annoyed as he continues his little rant about him being Hokage. 

I almost scoff and laugh when he brings up how old the Third is. Like, what the fuck? If you think he shouldn’t be Hokage for his age then neither should you. You ain’t no fucking immortal or Orochimaru who looks like he’s in his twenties even though he be sixty. 

And at least the monkey wants to try to be peaceful, you just want war. ‘Make Konoha Strong Again’ — Yeah fucking right. With the war you’d bring, you’d be making it weak with the amount of manpower we’d lose. 

Fuck, _I_ might as well be Hokage. 

Danzō may have experience in being a leader but he doesn’t know how to take care of his men. Tsunade is one of Sannin sure and I’m pretty sure she was a leader of a platoon during the war and she’s a medic, but she’s also an alcoholic and short tempered. Kakashi wouldn’t be too bad if it weren’t for the fact he’s lazy and more than likely wouldn’t do any of the paperwork as well as wouldn’t want the responsibility of all of Konoha on his hands. The boy is traumatized after all.

“You have yet to meet any of the heirs, is that right?” Dino asks making me look up to meet his eye. I shake my head. I’ve only meet Sasuke, Naruto, Shisui, and Itachi. It’s guaranteed for me to meet the other brats once the Academy starts. Any other important _(and canon)_ characters will have to be on my own. 

“What do you know of the Hyūga Heiress?” He asks, leaning over to stare at me. 

“She isn’t allowed outside of the compound from what I’ve seen. I’ve since glimpses of the other heirs outside, though never without one of their guardians. The Hyūga heiress is the only one I’ve yet to see,” I explain with a blank face and monotone voice. ‘Only speak when spoken too and prompted’ has been a lesson literally beaten into me. 

He doesn’t do anything with my information seeing how he already knows this. He only stares at me making me want to punch him but I don’t move. Dino does this when he’s making a plan. I hate the absolute fuck out of it but have learned I’ll need to deal. 

“The day of the signing will also be one of your days off. Instead of having you return at sundown, you’ll be on patrol,” he begins as he leans back. 

Patrol. The fuck. If this is going where I think it is, then does this fucker actually think I can take on a man thrice my height, age, and level?? Give me a gun and maybe I can but even then I’ll probably die. 

“You’ll stick close to the area around the Hyūga Compound and be on the lookout. The Hyūga won’t be attending the signing to celebrate the Heiress’s third birthday,” he explains as he pulls out a file and lays it on the table. “Kumo is sending their best man for the signing. He’ll be smart to attack after the signing, late at night when the Compound is asleep. The Hyūga also have a rule of not using their Byakugan inside the compound.” 

“If Kumo has information on the Hyūga, then they’d know about the seal they have made to keep their branch members in line and bloodline. The Kumo nin will go after the heiress if they know this,” he finishes while opening up the file, probably reviewing his own information on the Hyūga. 

Well fuck, no wonder little Hime was kidnapped. Not only is she a child, therefore easier to transport, she’s also the heiress. Kumo should know about the seal all branch members have. Only the main house doesn’t have it, making them be able to obtain the Byakugan. 

It’s stupid on the Hyūga’s part you’ve got to admit. If the main branch also had the seal than their heirs wouldn’t be kidnapped because then it’d be useless for Kumo or anyone else to try. 

“Haruno Sakura, ROOT Number eighty-six,” Dino states in his ‘I’m the boss’ voice. I straighten up to show I’m listening even though I’d really rather slouch and just fall over dead. And I have a number now too? Or was that always a thing and I just never knew? Or maybe I am supposed to know but just wasn’t paying attention. “This will be your first mission.” 

Huh. Forget what I said earlier. Looks like I get my first mission at three, not seven or ten. What the _fuck_ is this man on? And can I _never_ get some. 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

First mission is pretty simple right? I’m just on patrol around the Hyūga’s Compound, nothing suspicious _at all_. Especially not being tucked away on a branch just several yards outside of the Heiress's bedroom window. Nope, _completely_ normal. 

I’m getting fucking _shanked_ if ever discovered. Why did the old guy think it’d be a good idea to place me _here_? And patrol, really? Yeah fucking right. The Dino fucking wants me to catch the guy. He didn’t say it but I just fucking know it. 

Didn’t even give me anything to work with! Oh sure, my clothes have been upgraded. No more shirts and shorts for me! I’ve now been promoted to long sleeves and pants. Because that’s the proper way to dress when it’s fucking _snowing_. 

I can at least be a tinsy bit glad he isn’t a father. Or— oh fuck, what if he is? What if he knocked up some chick back in his younger years? _Shiiit_ , what if he’s a grandfather and fucking _knows_ it but is too much of an asshole to meet the fam and is just keeping tabs!? Or hell, maybe he has a grandchild and kidnapped them to put them in ROOT and told them he was their grandfather so they _have_ to be loyal!? 

Fuck, back up. Can’t think about that shit. Need to focus. A kidnapping is about to occur and I can’t be thinking about Danzō’s possible family. Another time, not now. 

Today started as any other day out. I was escorted home and from there I went out. Though, like my first day out, I took a knife and multiple rations with me. Since you know, Danzō the Dino didn’t give me _shit_. The hell does he want me to do? Catch the guy bare handed and unarmed?? 

I huff quietly and watch as my breath turns into fog in the cold air. I shift around as quietly as I can, trying to find some sort of comfortable position. I settle for crouching, one hand settled on the branch I’m on and the other on the trunk of the tree. It’s also dark as fuck so there’s that too. 

I’m going to get frostbite at this rate. Can’t that Kumo nin hurry up and kidnap the kid already so I can kick him down? My legs are going to go numb from this and then I won’t be able to stand and take some form of action. 

I narrow my eyes at the trees before me as the night commences. Sun had already set a good three hours ago. Yeah, that’s how long I’ve been here. Arrived just as the party ended. And I’ll probably be here for another two hours or more. The guy really can’t get here fast enough. 

Oh, have I mentioned that I’m the _only_ one here? Yeah, no backup or anything. Apparently if the kidnapping does happen then Danzō doesn’t want to be questioned on why his men were hanging around. And since no one knows I’m considered one of his men, and way to fucking young, then he won’t be questioned. Me, on the other hand, will be. 

And you know what he said to do when that happens? The fucker said, “Don’t mention anything of the mission, nor hint at working for me.” That’s all. The fucker has practically given me free rein to what I say! 

Refraining from cackling, I roll my shoulders back as I squint in the dark. The nin should be here pretty soon. I’ll need to be ready in the case that he doesn’t come this way. I’ll be really fucking pissed if he doesn’t, I haven’t learned how to tree hop and chasing after him will be a chore. 

I almost curse when I see something move in the dark. I slowly begin to stand as I squint even more. With all the trees around, I really can’t see shit. But I’m pretty sure that shadow is moving and it’s my guy. Oh good, he’s coming this way. 

I’ll need to time this right. I want to be able to land on him when I jump. Hopefully I can hit him in the head at the same time. It’d be best to blind him with my hands and try to choke him with my small three year old legs —

Oh fuck, he’s fast! As Spider-Man once said, it all just a leap of faith! And this bitch ain’t got much faith! 

I jump at him as quick as I can, thankfully landing on him even if I’m hanging off his arm. He grunts in surprise and looks down at me. He looks completely surprised which I mean, who wouldn’t? Wouldn’t you also be surprised if your were just attacked by some flying three year old? 

He tries to throw me off by shaking his arm but I manage, some fucking how, to hang on. And now comes the task of climbing to reach his head. Which is really fucking hard seeing how he’s still fucking running and shaking his arm. 

At this rate I might just have to stab him even though I kinda want to avoid that. I really don’t want to be questioned on carrying a kitchen knife around again. I can bullshit my way out of explaining the rations because they’re fucking rations but a kitchen knife? Sushi may have let me off but the Hokage himself? Fucking doubt it. 

I grunt and grip on tighter as — let’s call him Cloud — Cloud tries to slam me into a tree. I can only roll my eyes and sneer. This is getting annoying and now I want to stab him despite the future consequences. 

Instead I manage to grab a ration while still holding on and chuck it at him. He actually fucking stumbles. I fucking tell you, that shit’s as hard as a brick. Either way, I use that opening to try and climb my way up. No such luck. 

Instead I somehow ended up hanging off of his shirt and pants. But this is okay. It works actually because now I’m face to face with his knife pouch. I grin as I tighten my grip around his shirt and let go of his pants to grab one of his weapons. 

I don’t hesitate in stabbing him in the leg. He grunts and trips, but still keep moving. Clicking my tongue in annoyance, I rip the weapon out and stab him in the torso, just next to where I’m hanging on to. He only chokes on spit from what I can see. 

“Persistent fucker, aren’t you?” I mutter as I rip the knife back out and move to place the handle between my teeth. I begin trying to climb down his leg, occasionally cutting him as I went. 

He’s slowed down so it makes it a lot easier to drop and grab his ankle, stabbing the weapon all the way through his foot, the sharp end coming out from the bottom of the shoe. He doesn’t necessarily scream, it’s more of muffled and choked out shout. 

But he does trip and fall, dropping the brown bag — which I most certainly did _not_ forget about, nope — with the little princess in it. I let go as he begins falling, and try to roll away. I grunt once I stop myself and look down at my leg. 

I think I broke something. Shit. Glaring at the downed and bleeding Cloud, I look for the brown bag. It isn’t far from me thankfully, but still somewhat close to Cloud. With gritted teeth I pull myself up and limp my way over. 

I drop down next to the bag and poke it. The little Hime inside squeaks and moves about. Okay good, she’s still alive. I begin opening the bag and peek inside to find her looking at me with wide and teary eyes. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” I call out softly, “It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you. Come on.” I didn’t want to tell her she’s safe because that’s something I can’t really guarantee. She seems to nod and slowly climbs her way out of the bag. 

She immediately spots her kidnapper and whimpers, clinging on to me. I can only blink and try to soothe her. I keep my eyes on Cloud as I try to stand back up, Hime always standing behind me as she clings to my shirt. At least I have my hands free and working. I can throw rations at him this way. 

I try to quietly console Hime into slowly backing away so we can put some more distance between us and Cloud. She’s trembling but at least she can still hear me and nod. We begin backing away slowly, a lot more slowly for me since my left leg is fucking useless. 

Cloud is slowly getting up too, glaring at me in the dark. He’s on his knees now, trying to get his leg to listen to him as he tries to stand up only to fall back on his knees. Which thank fuck since Hime’s father decided now would be a good time to show up. He jumped down from the tries between us, quickly taking in the situation. 

He’s quick to knock Cloud unconscious. If Cloud was standing when he showed up then I have no doubt that he would be dead right now instead of just sleeping. From what I can somewhat remember, Hiz- or is it Hai?, umm, Hime’s father killed the dude and then his twin died in his place to be sent as compromise or something like that. And then Hime’s bro- no, cousin, became a jackass. 

And oh hey, look at that, canon has been fucked once again. 

“Hinata!?” The father calls out turning back to face us. He narrows his eyes at me suspiciously so I stick my tongue out to him and pull down an eyelid. He looks even more suspicious but also disgruntled at my lack of respect. 

Hinata looks up from behind me, crying out, “T-Tou-San!” What’s surprising is that she doesn’t run out to him. Oh no, instead she clings to me even tighter and begins crying. 

“Uh, hey, it’s okay now,” I say softly again, really not sure what’s going on anymore. “Your dad is here now, you’re safe now,” I try to slowly make her uncling but she only cries louder and tightens her hold. I give up after my fifth time trying and huff, turning to her father. 

“She won’t let go,” I state the obvious, ignoring his pinched expression mainly because there are now ANBU here. What the fuck man. 

One of them walks over and tries to grab us, probably to separate us but Hinata screams making me stiffen and act on instincts. I pull out a ration and chuck it at the ANBU that made her scream, aiming low. Glaring, I put myself in front of the little Hime some more. 

“Try to fucking touch her again and I’ll be sure to string up you by your fucking balls,” I threaten, another ration already in hand as my other one keep a steady hold on Hinata’s arm. 

He backs away as does everyone else. Only Hinata’s father tries to move closer but I guess the sudden movement and dark scared her cause she whimpers and hides her face into the back of my shirt. He frowns, looking worried and hurt but backs away. 

I narrow my eyes at all of them but turn my attention to the little girl clinging to me. I resist the urge to sigh and call out to her instead. “Hey, Hinata, right?” I ask, trying to coax her. “You can hear me right?” I whisper. She nods into my back. “Can you look up for me little bunny?” I ask and feel her hesitantly nod. I look over my shoulder so see her peek up. 

I smile at her reassuringly as I can, “Look, it’s your dad. He’s really worried you know, even if he seems like too much of a prick to show it. You’re safe now, you know? These other people?” I point to all the ANBUs, making her look over them all. “They won’t hurt you, promise. They only look scary because they’re actually all really ugly under the mask.” 

One coughed, I fucking know what I fucking heard. And one coughed. I swear it. 

“R-Really?” She whispers, peeking over my shoulder even more as she gazes at the Official Masks. Pretty sure one of them twitched. I nod to her and she steps out just a little. 

She then spots her kidnapped again and whimpers just a little as she points a shaky finger to him, “A-And h-him?” 

Looking over I notice one of the ANBU over looking Cloud. Probably don’t want him bleeding out. Oops. “Oh don’t worry, he won’t get up any time soon,” I grin at her with a steady pat on the back, “I stabbed him in the foot after all. Oh and your dad made him go to sleep for a while.” 

Her eyes widen as she gazes at me in...awe? Is that awe? “R-Really?” She asks and I nod making her whisper, “Wow.” I guess it was awe. 

“Now, can you walk little bunny? Are you hurt?” I ask, getting back on task. She nods then shakes her head. Okay, can walk and is uninjured. Her father sighs in relief from where he stands and looks to relax a little. 

“Is it okay for one of the ugly people to come over? They just want to make sure that you really aren’t hurt,” I ask. She looks up and tightens her grip on me but nods. 

One of the Certified Masks walks over and I can tell they’re a medic by the red badge on their sleeve. I step a little to the side to let them check over the little bunny as I stare at them. They look familiar. It’s the mask that’s tripping me up but I’m sure…

“ _You fucking hag_ ,” I whisper to myself as I refrain from glaring. It’s the damned Nurse Mask! The lady that’ll break one of my bones every time I walk in before fixing me up. I didn’t think Danzō would have the _medic_ as his spy. 

I don’t like this. I watch carefully as Nurse places her hand on Hinata’s forehead. Her hand lights up green in medical chakra. The Hime is still clinging to me but now I make sure that I have a firm grip on her as well.

I don’t trust what’s going on. I don’t trust Danzō. I don’t trust that he wouldn’t be planning something else and not tell me. After all, this is no longer canon. Who knows if Danzō actually tried something in canon but was stopped because Hime’s father was there and carrying her. 

I watch Nurse’s hands more than I watch her movements. I watch as her green chakra wavers very slowly, blue almost unnoticeably taking its place. I pull little bunny away and lift my other arm in her place. I glare as I push Hinata behind me. 

“The hell you think you’re doing lady?” I sneer as I glance at my raised arm. It’s numb. I can’t feel it at all, the same way one can’t feel still air. I can feel the muscles in it twitch before disconnecting like a plug from the nervous system and dropping limp. 

I don’t pay much attention to the adults around me as they tense up and twitch to move forward, the small crying of one Hyūga Hinata stopping them. 

Seeing how my left arm is now fucking useless like its leg counterpart, I shift to have my right side more to the front. My right hand already teaching under my shirt for the kitchen knife I tucked away. 

“Checking Hinata-sama for injuries,” Nurse responds quietly, monotonously. 

I raise a brow at her, expression blank and unamused. “That’s a fucking lie and you know it,” I say as I pull out my knife and hold up to her, sharp end pointing at her throat. “Now, I’ll ask again, what the hell do you think you were doing lady?” I ask calmly. 

I’m three and about to have my first kill. No, not even. I’m three and about to tussle with a fucking ANBU — with a fucking _adult_. Talk about stupid moments and decisions. 

I don’t get a response, well, not a verbal one at least. Nurse strikes out with her hand, trying to grab the knife from me. It’s only on instincts hard learned as both Anna and Sakura that I strike out instead of dodge. I manage to cut her arm before needing to back up. 

Luckily, I don’t have to fight her. As soon as Nurse struck, the other ANBU were already moving to grab her. Hime’s dad then moved to grab his daughter and I. I tried to politely tell him no by slapping his hand away but he wasn’t having that apparently and just picked me the fuck up. Then he ran for it. 

Hinata was curled in his right arm, face pressed against his chest. I was just kinda in his other arm, chest and up leaning over his shoulder. From where I’m being held I can see the mini fight pretty well. 

Pretty surprised to see a familiar silver hair that breaks the laws of gravity. Kinda forgot he was in ANBU. I wonder if he remembers me. Kind of doubt it but hey, it’s only been three years. 

I’m just meeting a bunch of people today aren’t I?

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

Hinata’s father, who’s name I still can’t remember, took us to the hospital. All three of us are currently in the same hospital room, with Hinata and I sitting on the same bed. She refused to be separated from me more than five feet. I kinda shrugged and let her hold my hand. 

Her father, who I’m just going to call Prick — or maybe Constipated? What about Stone Cold? Ah, but then what would I call his twin? They should have matching nicknames. Damn, this is difficult. 

Either way, Temporarily Prick, sits on the bed next to us. He keeps looking over Hinata as if she was just going to randomly combust. I’ve tried coaxing little bunny into talking with him but she’d refuse. She’ll answer me but not anyone else for some reason. Children are weird. 

Seeing how we’re at the hospital, I was able to get my arm back to working order and my leg fixed but still wrapped _(but only after glaring down the doctor)_. It’s kinda weird since I’ve gotten somewhat used to just having my major injuries like broken bones healed completely if not close to it. Goes to show how many times my bones are broken. 

It did get me thinking. My entire left side was fucking useless. Is that how Obito felt with his right side? Just worse? Is this part of the reason why he went insane? Because his entire right side was fucking useless like a dead fucking carrot? 

I abandon those thoughts _(for now)_ as I turn to look at the door when it opens. I’m not surprised to see to the Hokage. I am surprised to see Kakashi though. Well, ANBU Kakashi but still. The hair gives it away. 

Prick stands up and bows as Bunny-hime looks on curiously, hand tightening around mine. I can only raise a brow and sigh heavily. I turn my attention away from the old monkey and instead try to teach Hinata how to play the hand game Slide. 

We were playing our third game _(she was still learning and messes up pretty quickly)_ when someone coughs. I don’t pay any mind to it ‘cause this is a hospital. Of course there are going to be the sick and dying. It does make Hinata lose though. She pouts but quietly demands a rematch. 

We got up to number six when someone actually says something. “Sakura,” the old monkey calls. It makes me lose so I turn a narrowed gaze at the man. 

“What?” I ask rudely. I’m fucking exhausted. It’s like midnight or even passed that, I played a mean game of tag and tackle with the boys, I crouched in a fucking tree for who knows how long, I took down a fucking Kumo Nin, saved the Hyūga Princess _twice_ — I don’t want to deal with this man’s bullshit. 

“I just have a couple of questions for you and Hinata-sama,” he explains in what I’m guessing is supposed to be his grandfatherly tone. Makes me want to throw up and just delete myself. 

I groan in annoyance and tug at my hair in frustration. “Fine but hurry up. I’m fucking exhausted,” I snap, ignoring the shocked expression on Prick. He looks like he’s about to reprimand me but Hiruzen raises a hand to stop him, the _one_ good thing he has ever done. 

“Language,” He reprimands himself, making the one good thing be tossed in the garbage. He gazes at me sternly while still emitting a welcoming aura. 

“Sleeping robes old man,” I retort while rolling my eyes. “Don’t you fucking forget you old shit, but I’m a suicidal little bitch ready to die at any fucking moment. I could care less about my own life.” Not really but saying otherwise wouldn’t really help my case. Plus the fact that he saw me jump out his window with the full intent of dying. 

But now I kinda feel bad. Kakashi stiffened once I mentioned being suicidal. He’s still only like eighteen or nineteen, he’s still just a kid. And here I am being a fucking asshole bringing up suicide to the boy who’s father committed suicide. Damn. 

Hiruzen pins me with a stern stare but I just raise a brow in return. He frowns a little but changes his attention to little bunny and smiles. “I just have some questions, afterward you can go back home,” he explains to her. She nods hesitantly and moves to be closer to me, grabbing my hand again. “Can you please explain what happened?” 

I stare at him like he’s a dumbass because he _is_. What kind of question is that? That’s so broad, what the hell does he expect from the child? A full on shinobi report? Only one of us can do that and it’s not her, and quite frankly no one knows I can even do that. I hold back a sigh and look at the girl curiously. 

She’s frowning and looking down, almost like she’s on the verge of tears. I grimace and poke her softly. She looks up and yup, those are tears in her eyes. Okay fine, whatever. 

“You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to,” I comment quietly, making everyone look at me. Surprisingly no one tries to speak up to stop me. “You can talk to me instead, how about that? It can be like a game too!”

She sniffled and wipes her tears, “G-game?” 

I nod and offer a smile that’s probably more of a grimace than anything, “Yeah a game. Like Twenty Questions but different. I ask a question, you answer then you ask me a question and I answer and ask a question. You want to play?” 

She thinks it over for a moment but nods. I nod back and shift so we’re facing each other -- so she’s facing me with her back to everyone else and I face her and everyone else. I grab her hands and make them form fists. 

“Okay, this is how we’ll play,” I start, clenching my hand into fists as well. I place one fist on top of the other. “Who’s ever fist is on the top will be asking the question in the beginning. So, here, give me your hands. I place my fist down first and ask a question, then you place one of yours on top to answer and ask. Then I place my other one on top to answer and ask. And we keep going. It’ll be like building a tower with our fists. The game goes on until one of us can’t reach up to continue the tower anymore.”

This isn’t actually what the game was first designed for, not that I know what it was designed for, but it’ll work. I look to her to see if she understands and she nods. Okay, I’ll call this Question Tower for now. 

Question Tower, commence! 

I place my right fist on the space between us and begin, “When did you wake up?” It’s vague so really she can answer with the time she woke up this morning, but I pin her with a reassuring gaze so hopefully she’ll answer with when she woke up during the kidnapping. 

She bits her lip but places one of her fists on top of mine, “W-When I f-felt s-someone grab me,” she whispers but I can still hear it so therefore everyone else can too. I nod when she looks up at me. “Um, any q-question, r-right?” 

If I was playing anyone else and with a different setting I would have counted that as a question. Instead I nod at her and she purses her lips, thinking. 

“W-Why did y-you save m-me?” She questions, staring at me curiously. I blink not really expecting getting interrogated in return. Oh well, at least like this I can build up my lie. I place my other fist on top of hers. 

I chuckle sheepishly, “Ah you see, I didn’t even know he had you.” That earns me surprised and suspicious looks. “To me, he was just a foreign nin that woke me up. But I’m glad I could save you.” They don’t look to buy it but are keeping quiet. “What happened after you woke up?” 

Her other fist was placed on top, “Uhm, it was d-dark b-but I remember h-he tripped? B-But he was still m-moving. Then...uhm, he s-slowed down. Uhm, he s-screamed and th-then I was f-falling an-and then y-you p-poked me? And th-the bag o-opened.” She lets out a shaky breath, I nodded any time she hesitated for her to continue on. 

As she looks down I look up to the adults and raise a brow, silently asking if that’d be all. Hiruzen seemed to get the message because he nodded back but still sat back. Okay then, looks like it’s my turn for an interrogation. 

“W-woke up?” Hinata asks, surprising me. 

“Aha, yeah. I got locked out of my house so I decided to go find a tree to sleep in since Kizashi is out on some mission or another,” I shrug as I place my fist on hers. “The guy woke me up with his running. I uh...kinda fell off my branch and landed on him.” I chuckle sheepishly again. “What’s your favorite color?” 

She blinks, probably surprised at the turn of the questions but smiles. “P-Purple. What’s y-yours?” 

“Hmm, I can’t decide between red or black,” I answer which isn’t a lie. Black clothing hides blood better but red is the color of blood. “Animal?” 

“R-Rabbits. You?”

“Oh that’s tough. I like tigers though. Food?”

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

The game went on for another twenty-minutes where I lost, Hinata just a little bit taller than me. At first she didn’t want to leave so I gave her half of my ration stash and explained the proper way to use them. 

“You just throw them at people. You can throw it at people that are bothering you or you can do it for a distraction and run, or you can even do it for fun, like I do!” I explained while handing them to her. “With men, remember to aim low. With women, remember to aim near the middle and top. And no matter the person, _always_ aim for the face first.” 

Her father tried multiple times to stop me by trying to interrupt and grabbing the rations out of my hands. I always just took another one out and kept on explaining. Not even Sasuke and Naruto looked as awestruck as Hinata did. She left holding five as she made her father carry the rest. 

That’s where we are now. With me laying down exhausted with the Hokage sitting next to the bed, Kakashi standing guard by the door. No one has said anything after little bunny left with her father. 

I honestly have no clue what they want from me. 

“You stopped the medic from checking on Hinata-sama,” Hiruzen says. 

Oh. That’s what they want from me. How could I forget? Now that I think about it, what did they do with her? I hope they didn’t let her off. The bitch put my left arm out of fucking comission. 

“I _saved_ Little Bunny,” I state, sitting up and narrowing my eyes. “That bitch numbed my fucking arm. And _not_ because I moved Hinata, it was numbed because I _replaced_ Hinata with my arm. Would you like to explain what would have happened had she been allowed to _numb_ Hinata’s _head_? Because I don’t think anything good would have happened.” 

He doesn’t respond and there isn’t any sort of reaction from Kakashi. He had lost his grandfather aura once Hinata left. At least he’s learning that it won’t work with me or make a difference to my attitude. 

“How did you know?” He asks next. 

I hold back a heavy sigh and instead let out a small breath. How do you explain that you’ve seen and experienced medical chakra enough times to know when it isn’t being used to heal but hurt? 

“I don’t know much about medical chakra,” I start off, staring on boredly. “What I do know, however, is that medical chakra is _green_ , unlike visible chakra which is _blue_. Though I can only guess that the color would and could be varied with different people and the like,” I wave my hand about as I sit straighter to try and get my point across, “But medical chakra is _always_ green.” 

I look to Kakashi, looking him over for a moment before shrugging. He was there, he was watching, he would be my key to being left off the hook. He’s my witness. 

“I don’t know the full extent of medical chakra, but the bastard, Kizashi, knows some medical chakra himself,” which isn’t a lie. Back when I was still living with him, around last year actually, he had showed it to me. “He made it clear that medical chakra can be used to hurt as much as it can he’s used to heal.” 

“I was wary. Hinata was scared and only trusted me at the moment. If she was hurt, it’d be my fault because I said she could trust them,” I state, clenching my fists on top of my knees. 

I look the old monkey in the eye, “Medical Chakra is _always_ green. And in that moment? It wasn’t green. It turned _blue_.” 

Taking in a deep breath and I let it out slowly as I relax my shoulders. I need to sell this. Need to get them off my case. If I’ll die either way, I’d at least like to die messing up Danzō’s plans. Can’t do that if I’m discovered, if I’m put to interrogation, to jail. 

“Hm, I see,” he murmurs while leaning back. “Why were you in the tree? Why’d you attack the nin?”

Aw fuck. The harder questions. 

I frown at him, “Like I said, I got locked out of my house so I went looking for a tree to sleep in. I found one and fell asleep. The guy woke me up with his running and I fell out, landing on top of him and hanging on. It was weird that he didn’t even stop, so looking up I saw he wasn’t Konoha and carrying a bag.” 

“He was a foreign nin on the run with something over his shoulder, and I just happened to be hanging on,” I cross my arms, “What'd you expect me to do? Let go and have him kill me? I’m suicidal, not looking to be murdered. I want to kill my self, not have someone else do it,” I scoff at him. 

“At least with me hanging off one arm and something occupying his other, he wouldn’t have been able to hurt me much. He did slam me into a fucking tree though,” I grumble annoyed.

“I was slipping when I threw a ration at him, hoping to get him to pause long enough for me to get a better hold. In the end, I just ended up hanging onto his shirt and pants. I was close to his pouch so I pulled out one of his one weapons and used it against him. 

“I stabbed him in the leg first but he kept going, so I stabbed him in the torso. Tripped but didn’t fall. I was close to letting go so I did and grabbed him by the ankle so I could stab him through the foot. Went down like a tree,” I snicker. Get it? Cause this is Konoha. 

Sighing, I lean back, “He dropped the bag and I fell, that’s probably when I broke my leg, and rolled away. I was curious about the bag so I limped over and poked it. Imagine my surprise upon hearing someone _crying _. Then imagine my surprise finding someone _my fucking age_ inside.” __

__I yawn and stretch, making a show of my exhaustion and age. “From there Hinata’s father showed up and knocked the fucker out. And then your masked people came along. I’m sure you know the rest.” I’m so fucking tired, when is this shit going to be over?_ _

__He hums, just staring at me in clear thought. In the end he thankfully _(and unfortunately)_ stands up _(and smiles)_. “I see, thank you for answering my questions. I’m sure you’re exhausted, you can stay the night here and tomorrow I’ll have someone help you get back home,” he says while leaving, offering a ‘good night’ just before the door closed behind him. _ _

__And guess the fuck what?_ _

__“Why the fuck are you still here?”_ _

__He fucking left Kakashi here._ _

__“If this about that Cloud Nin escaping some-fucking-how, then shouldn’t you be guarding Hinata?”_ _

__No fucking response._ _

__“She’s the heiress right? I’m just a civilian and have no regard for my life. She’s more important, I am not.”_ _

___Silence._ _ _

__“Another attack on her would be bad. Me? I’d probably just end up as a corpse, no biggie. Really. It’s not. I’m not looking to be murdered but at least I’d be dead at last.”_ _

__I need him to _leave_. I was given _very_ strict instructions to return back at the house to be picked up so I can get back to training after giving a report. I haven’t been in _the room_ for _almost_ a whole month now! _ _

__The kid isn’t giving me anything. He’s just standing there, keeping guard. No movements of any kind, no sound at all. A fucking _statue_ is what he is. _ _

__“If this is about being suicidal then you don’t need to worry. I ain’t offing myself till I’m _at least_ thirteen.” _ _

__I got shit to do when I turn eight. Got shit to fuck up when I’m like twelve and thirteen. And guess the fuck what? They revolve around little duck._ _

__Huh, no wonder canon him was such a stuck up thinking the world revolves around his duck ass._ _

__“Still nothing?” I mumble. Running a hand over my face in frustration I flop back on the bed. Closing my eyes and crossing my arms, I try to sleep. “ _At least I get a full night’s sleep out of this_ ,” I breathe as I begin falling asleep. _ _

__Danzō can’t get mad at me if it was all Prick and Monkey’s fault right? One brought me here and the other left a guard. But what about Nurse? Completely for-_ _

___Motherfuck_ —_ _

____

__****_ _

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

__****_ _

__**  
**  
_  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> ABOUT BNHA : 
> 
> Okay so, I’ve decided to write both BNHA Fics, the OC one and the Twin one. 
> 
> Both Fics are posted so go check that out


	13. Get Out Of Jail Free

Let me just say, trying to defend oneself is fucking _useless_ against Danzō. The stupid one-eye joe bastard didn’t believe me when I said that I had a fucking ANBU guarding me. Like what the hell! You think I want to stay at the hospital overnight or even go back to _the room_. 

I ended up in _the room_ either fucking way. He didn’t like the fact that I attacked his Nurse. Well, _sorry_ , not like I fucking knew she was there on orders. Didn’t mean to be in the way despite being assigned the mission of _protecting_ the heiress. 

It has been about five months and I’m still a bitter bitch. I’m now officially four, and apparently capable of new shit like jumping down from fifteen feet off the fucking ground. I swear to the gods this asshole wants me dead. Probably thinks I’m some useless civilian that was sold to him. I’ll show him that ain’t it once I kill him. 

Besides being given more shit to do, learn, and break — my relationship with the kids has gotten better. I haven’t met any new brats, just little duck, blonde, and bunny. Hinata had started joining our ‘play dates’ around three weeks after the incident of her birthday. She’s always accompanied by some guard, never really the same one, and every one of them boring. 

At first it was difficult. Her guard not liking the fact that little blonde was there but after getting hit with multiple rations at once, they all conceded. The boys took an immediate liking to her when she joined the throwing once I gave her a ration. Sushi, Princess, and the Guard however, did not like the fact she joined in the throwing. 

Which is bull, since it’ll only make her a badass in the future, which your fucking welcome. Tch. Honestly, the shit I do and go through and _will_ go through for these people! Which, why again am I doing this? Right, to become a ninja and get legalized-ish murder. 

“Sakura! Sakura!” 

Looking over, I see all the three little brats running up to me. Today is my day-off-but-not-really-because-it’s-a-mission day. Like always, I was left at the house to make my own way around. Usually, I’d head straight to the park to meet with the brats but I wanted to do something today before that. Didn’t think I’d meet the brats in the streets before I could do what I wanted.

I sigh heavily as little blonde tackles me down, smiling widely as if what he did is completely normal and fine. Which it sort of is? I’ve noticed little blonde has started becoming a lot more like his twelve year old self with Sasuke and I around. Which apparently to him means he can just tackle me in the middle of the street. If I weren’t trying to seem like a “normal” four year old, I would have caught him so we both don’t fall. 

“Hello to you too,” I mutter, patting his head when he helps me up. “What are you doing here?”

“They got worried when you weren’t at the park,” Sushi pipes up from behind me, grinning most likely from trying to startle me. “So we all came to find you.”

Ah, that’s...not good. My days “off” aren’t a guaranteed thing. There’s also the chance of being sent on some fucking useless suicide mission and you know, dying. There’s also the fact that Dino could just pull me out of the “mission” entirely and I stay in those cold ass hideouts never to be seen again. 

I sigh and push Sushi’s face away while glaring at him. “I’m not a fucking child you need to concern yourself with,” I ignore Princess’ dubious look and Sushi’s snort. “If I don’t come to the park assume I’m sick and leave me alone.” I have no doubt they could find my house and just break in as they please. I don’t want to explain why it smells like bleach or why my bedroom is still modeled for a newborn. 

He opened his mouth to say something but I turned my back and ignored him. Instead of keeping up useless and boring conversations, I poke the three brats to start walking in a certain direction. 

“Come on, I’m hungry. I’ll buy us something to eat,” I explain, pausing to look over at Sushi, Princess and Guard, “Not you three. Buy with your own fucking money.” 

Ignoring Sushi’s whining, I lead us to a vendor off to the side selling what looks like kabobs. It’s meat on a stick. I’m fucking buying. I pull out the money I stole from someone, or well from the people I pickpocketed this morning. Now that I think about, should I teach Naruto how to pickpocket and steal? It would make his and my life much easier if he had a way to acquire his needs on his own. It’d also be good stealth training. 

Another thing: training. Apparently, not only do I have to make friends with all the brats, but I also have to train them. Like what the fuck? Isn’t that what the academy and their families are for? Why the hell is it _my_ responsibility now? Oh yeah, because Danzō is a piece of shit that wants powerful soldiers in the future. 

It’s like I can do much but go along with it. It would also be in my favor. If the kids are all stronger than canon-genin-them, it’d only mean they can be much stronger by the time of the huge-ass, useless, stupid war _(if all the plant fuckwad wanted was to bring his stupid mom back then fuck why doesn’t he go to the moon to be with her? Why’re you bringing your mommy issues to us? No one gives a shit)_. 

I click my tongue at the shift in thoughts, tuning back into my surroundings more to see we’ve reached the vendor. There’s an empty upside down crate in the front so I can step on it and be able to see over the vendor table. I place down the money on the table, not caring if it’s correct or not. 

“Give me four,” I state blandly, ignoring Sushi and Princess’ comments of being polite and minding the manners I’ve never been taught. 

The man blinks, a little surprised before looking at the money and smiling at me. I cringe away but don’t say anything. As we wait for the four kabobs to be made, everyone has started talking amongst themselves. I don’t butt into either conversations too tired, mentally and physically from the shit show called training. Walking and moving about after breaking one’s legs more than ten times is something I never recommend, _especially_ after a quick healing session — in which I got a fucking _toe_ broken for cursing.

I blink into focus, noticing how the man is about to hand me two kabobs. I reach out for them but he stops suddenly and pulls back. My brow twitches and my patience thins. It’s been a rough fucking week and this man is not about to deny me my meat on a stick. 

I open my mouth to tell him to hurry the fuck up when I notice him looking to my right and down. Glancing over, I see exactly what he’s staring at, or more like _who_ he’s staring at. I should have known really. Usually Shisui will the one time grab us food as we all stayed at the park running around. 

My expression pinched together, anger clear in his eyes. Through gritted teeth he says, “I won’t sell to a mon-”

I slam my hands against the table, expression carefully blank. “Finish that sentence. I dare you.” 

He turns to look at me, startled, and suddenly it’s quiet around me. I can see Itachi frowning in the corner of my eye, Shisui looking confused, the kids looking up curiously, and the Guard raising a brow in question. 

The man doesn’t take me seriously and glares, “I said I won’t sell to a mons-”

He doesn’t finish as I lean over and grab the front of his shirt. I roughly pull him down to eye level, expression still blank. 

“Guess the fuck what,” I whisper to him, “You ain’t selling to no fucking monster. You’re selling to _me_.” My grip tightens and I pull him down, closer to the grill, while fighting against Shisui’s hold one me. “Do you know who I am?” He doesn’t answer, now trying to get away from the heat of the grill. “I’m the motherfucking _devil_.” 

In a swift move, I slam his head down on the grill. He screams and quickly backs away. Shisui quickly lets go of me, moving to assist the man. I ignore them and pick up all the kabobs already finished cooking. I jump down of the crate, pass out the kabobs, and begin walking away. 

Which I don’t get very far, like, at all. Shisui stands in front of me, glaring. Looking over I see Itachi and Guard are taking care of the man. The brats are all confused and pouting, asking question after question of what happened. 

“Sakura,” Shisui calls, voice stern and mad, “What the hell was that?” 

“Hm? You mean my kabob? It’s meat on a stick.” 

I did not expect what he did next. Didn’t really think it to be a possibility. But hey, I’m apparently the universe’s punching bag — it likes to make my entire existence shit. 

Uchiha Shisui _slapped_ me. 

I blink, confused at the sudden turn of my head before realizing I was slapped. The brats are now shouting, at me seeing if I’m okay, at Shisui asking why. I take this small pause to realize that not many, if any at all, people are watching us. Which is good I suppose. I doubt being known as the girl that slammed some guy’s face in a grill will get me food or service. 

With a sigh, I look up at the twelve year old boy then frown. He’s staring wide eyed and shocked. At me or his own actions I’m not sure. His hand is still suspended in air from when he hit me. I grab it and pull down to his side. I pat his hand as I walk around and past him. 

Let's get this shit show on the road.

**ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ**

I twirl the stick from my kabob around my fingers. I finished it just a little while ago. Right after kicking my way into Fu-Chan’s office actually. Yup. I turned myself in. Well, not really. I just walked to the police station, made my way to the chief's office, and kicked open the door. I sat in front of Fugaku and finished my meat.

Neither of us had said anything. He looked extremely confused and annoyed when I walked in though. Looked ready to yell too. 

I stared at him until he sighed and held his head in his hands. “What.” He gritted out, glaring at me behind his hands. I have no doubt he knows all about me from his two sons and nephew. I wonder if he remembers the last time I was here. Probably. I doubt many, if any, children get sent here for punching someone. 

“Is it possible to sue or arrest a four year old?” 

He blinked. “What?” 

“I may or may not have slammed a man’s face into a grill which may or may not have still been on,” I explained, waving the stick around in the air. 

He sat up straighter, a startled and angry expression on his face. “What!?” Is that seriously all he can say? 

“Yeah, so anyway, is it possible to arrest a four year old?” 

He threw me in a holding cell. 

Currently he’s trying to get in contact with Kizashi but too bad for him, the asshole is out on some mission and isn’t due to be back for another fucking week or so. He didn’t really know what to do with me and didn’t want to deal with me. I think he guessed putting me here would be best. 

Which it is, if the presence of my watcher is anything to go by. I sit up from laying down on the ground and raise a brow at the guy. He signs a quick message before disappearing. 

“ _Sunset_ ,” he had said. 

I click my tongue but nod to the empty room, knowing he can still see me from wherever the hell he is. 

What? Did you think I honestly slammed that man’s face in the grill because I lost my patience? I’m better than that. Besides, I only resort to physical violence if threats don’t work. I never threatened the man, something I would normally do but well, a mission is a mission I suppose.

Dino thought it'd be a good idea to start giving me in village missions for my days out. Earlier this morning, I went to the market instead of the park to find the man I was instructed to hurt. Apparently the guy isn’t an honest kabob seller but a sleazy old piece of shit selling information. 

Or so I was told. 

I didn’t bother looking too deep into it. The guy is over twenty-one, I have no problems killing him, much less _burning_ him. Besides, it’d only look bad if I doubted the Dino. 

Anyways, at apparently sunset I’m to commence with part two of the plan. Yeah, Dino gave me an actually fucking plan this time. Some fucking how, he thinks this mission has more risk than just sending me out to take down a fucking grown ass man, ranked jonin. 

“ _Fuck this shit, I’m taking a fucking nap_ ,” I mutter, turning over to lay on my side and sleep. 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

Being kicked awake is _not_ fun. 

I glare at my watcher, flipping him off before pulling myself to my feet. Looking around, it seems that it’s later in the day. Huh. You know, I didn’t actually think Fu-Chan would _leave_ me here. Did he forget about me? Rude. 

“ _Where_ ,” I ask while sitting myself down in the corner, where the little light there is hits, making sure I’m visible enough so when someone walks in they can spot me easily. 

“ _Hall. Left_ ,” he answers before stepping back and melting into the shadows. Not really but it _looks_ like he did. He’s one of the Nara’s then. I’ve seen their specialized training just once before, even asked about them. 

Masks that come from clans get specialized training to make their bloodlines... _fit_ , I guess you can say, to Danzō’s needs of them — assassins. That’s what clan Masks are almost always shaped to be, but then again we’re all shaped to be assassins, some just better than others. 

I sigh, twirling my kabob stick in boredom as I wait for our target to enter. This mission isn’t exactly a solo mission like my first one with Hinata, I have to work with my watcher to complete these in village ones, at least until I’m able to do it solo. 

Despite getting training, and starting really fucking early, Dino only has me trained in physical things, nothing in chakra. Oh sure I’m being trained to open my chakra points which is tiring as fuck, but I have yet to learn to do anything with it. I know all the theory — how to make a genjutsu, how to perform a jutsu, how to enhance one’s strength, etcetera etcetera. Though, I wonder if I’ll start on chakra once I hit age five. He _did_ increase the physical training upon turning four…

The door creaks, snapping me out of useless thinking. I tuck the stick in my sleeve and lean back. I half expect Fu-Chan to be the one to step inside that way I can cuss him out but alas, it’s just the fucking target. I smirk spotting the burn mark on his face, resisting the urge to laugh. At least now I know that Dino isn’t lying? Though why he’d have any of his soldiers kill an innocent is beyond me. Hmm, to break them maybe? Isn’t that what they did with what’s his face? Ah, fuck. That character is important, fuck, what’s his name? Shit, what does he look like again? Black hair I think? 

Fuck this, it’s a topic for another time. 

The man, now named Target, steps inside the area containing holding cells. He looks around lost and annoyed. Probably because of the genjutsu Watcher put up. I’m not sure what kind of genjutsu he put up but I just know he put one up. It’s like a feeling. It’s freaky as fuck but super fucking useful whatever the hell this feeling is. 

I tap my finger against the bar, quickly catching Target’s attention. He blinks before sneering at me. He marches over, which who the hell marches anymore? 

“So the little bitch is behind bars huh?” He mocks, leaning down to see me. “Serves you right you little shit.” 

“And the big bad man got scarred by a four year old,” I reply boredly. “Honestly, to resort to mocking and name calling a child. How pathetic.” 

I saw his hand coming a mile away but let him grab the back of my head and slam it into the metal bars. Even if this man is going to die later, there’s still a chance of being caught by someone other than the Fake Masks. Wouldn’t want him sprouting shit that can get me in trouble. 

I blink up at him and raise a brow, unimpressed. “Now you’re _hurting_ a child? What? Did I hurt your feelings that bad? Big bad man get take a few taunts? I know children younger than me that can take a few words _and_ hits. Man you really _are_ pathetic.” 

Oh look at that. That’s blood on the bar and dripping down my head. A head injury huh? Now that I think about it, not once in all my trainings and time in _the room_ have I gotten a head injury. If I were any other person I’d almost call it sweet how considerate the Masks are. As it is, I still think they’re a bunch of assholes that should die in a burning pile of rubble. 

Target looks unsettled at my nonchalance but seems to regain some composure. He opens up the little cell I’m in and quickly grabs me by my hair. A very asshole move after giving me a fucking _head_ injury. He then begins to drag me out, pausing momentarily to tape my mouth. Where the fuck he got that tape, I have no fucking clue. 

I don’t resist, annoyed enough as it is to try and play the part of a frightened child. I allow Target to drag me around the station which is surprising empty which it shouldn’t be — there should be at least _one_ person still here. What the hell happened as I was napping? 

Target drags me to what looks like the archives on the station. Don’t really know what could be useful here but hey, I ain’t here to judge, just to stop and / or kill. He throws me at the wall near the door, glaring at me to probably get me to stay still? I shrug once he turns his back to me and sit up. 

Honestly what a fucking amatear! He didn’t tie up my hands _or_ ankles, just taped my mouth! If we were somewhere else, I’d attack him with his back to me and just complete the mission with a kill. As it is, I can’t exactly kill him in a police station. I can’t exactly kill him at all really. Dino prefers him captured for some odd ass reason. 

Whatever. Let’s just get this shit done already. 

It was _simple_. Attack him, tie him up, throw him out a window, then drag him to Dino. _Super Fucking Simple_. 

Until the sounds of talking and footsteps reached us. 

Target panicked, shoving every and any kind of paper in a scroll before grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder. Why he thinks taking me is useful, I have no fucking clue. I’m just added weight, though not much but still. Is he going to use me as a hostage? 

The door opens just as Target is getting ready to jump out a window. He turns to look at them, startled, before hurrying for the window. I decided to pretend I’m passed out as to lessen suspicion towards me. If I knew that meant getting my head banged against the window, I wouldn’t have and would have just stabbed the guy in the neck with the kabob stick still in my sleeve. 

Since I’m pretending to be unconscious, I keep my eyes close so I honestly have no idea where we’re going or what the fuck is happening. I just know a lot of people are shouting and possibly, most likely, giving chase. If they haven’t caught up already then fuck, that means this guy ain’t no fucking civilian like we thought — or maybe Danzō knew and just didnt want to tell me.

Probably the latter. 

I grit my teeth in annoyance at my pounding headache: head wound plus blood loss plus another strike on the head _plus_ the constant movement is not a fun equation. 

Guessing off of sound, I’d say Target’s losing them. Which is a problem — for me. I can easily kill the guy in my position, even take him down, however since the police will catch up eventually, I can’t well explain why the fuck I’m dragging him around. Ah, looks like a mission failed for me and another session in _the room_. 

Stupid ass police messing everything up with their justice and righteous shit. Fuck the police. 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

It’s been close to ten minutes now and those slowpokes _still_ haven’t caught up! Um, hello? Precious life of a fucking _child_ on the line here! Yeah, okay, not really but physically I am still a precious thing to be protected! No matter how much I yell at others to piss off. I swear, I’d sue if I could but I can’t becuase fucking Kizashi is buddy-buddy with the fucking chief and Dino will just blame _me_. 

If you couldn’t already tell, I’m pissed.

I open a single eye against the constant pounding in my head to look around. We’re in a forest, which isn’t even surprising, and it seems the sun is close to fully setting making it much darker than before. Damn, did the day really go by that fast? Next thing I’ll know I’m six and in the damn academy. 

Blinking against the black spots in my vision, I squint at the treeline in front of me (and behind Target). I swear there’s _something_ there. It’s a gut feeling and never has my gut and instinct lied to me before. At least, it’s never lied to _Anna_ before but I’m still technically my past self so surely it won’t lie to _me_ …

There’s movement in the trees, higher than what I can view while still playing unconscious and keeping my head down. I had caught a brief glimpse of the moving figure. I could only see that their attire consisted of black and dark blues. It almost feels like I know who it is. A character I’ve yet to meet? But who? 

Target stops suddenly, stumbling, making me grit my teeth at the sharp pain behind my eyes and sudden dizziness. Squinting, I can just barely see his feet shifting into a defensive stance through blurred vision. No wonder the Masks never went for a head wound. This shit would have killed me had they aimed for one every time I paid that shithole place a visit. 

There’s...shouting, I’m just now realizing. Shit, my hearing seems to be going out too. Note to self: never, _ever_ recieve head injuries but _always_ deliver them. 

I’m dropped suddenly, making me inhale sharply through clenched teeth. I just had -- just _had_ to be dropped head-first on a tree root. All this trouble is not worth getting out of jail relatively free. Actually, this doesn’t seem free at all! I had to pay the price of what I’m now starting to realize might be a serious head injury. Fuck you too gods! Fuck you too Universe!

Since my hearing and vision is now out, I can’t tell what the hell is going on. I can only guess that Target got caught and is now fighting? You know what? Fuck this pretending shit. I’m tired of acting the useless and helpless little bitch part. 

Using my hands for navigation, I use the tree in front of me to help me stand. With one hand against the tree, I use the other to wipe away the blood from my eyes. Looking around with slightly cleared vision, I’m able to catch the end of a very pathetic looking fight. Target dropped like a fly in the heat of a summer’s day. 

I look away from the likely unconscious but maybe dead Target to see who it was that ‘saved’ me. 

Oh.

It’s just Shisui.

Kind of disappointing.

“The fuck you doing here?” I ask incredulously, pushing away from the tree to try and walk over only to stumble like a newborn lamb. Before I can curse and hit the floor, Curly’s already in front of me catching me. I knew the kid was fast but shit, there was at least four, five meters between us.

“Woah, h-hey, don’t move,” he quickly mutters while making me sit down against the tree. 

I lazily slap his hands away, “I’m fine. Just a scratch.” 

He sputters, angrily reprimanding me with, “Your hair is more red than it is pink. It is _not_ just some- some _scratch_.” 

I blink, vision is _really_ going out now, everything is blurry as fuck. I raise a brow in his general direction. “It’s fine, I ain’t dead.”

“That isn’t—,” he cuts himself off with an irritated sigh. Then he pulls me into a hug. What the fuck. 

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, “I’m just glad your okay.” 

“Woah, hey there buddy, I know I called you a pedophile but I didn’t think you’d take it so literal,” I say raising my arms and pushing him away as best I could. 

And now he’s laughing. What the hell. Is this child okay? Is he high? Damn, I always knew that happy attitude was too fucking much to be true.

“Let me go before I scream rape.” 

“N-no,” he laughs, _picking me up_ — what the actual fuck is this kid on? “Need to take you to the hospital.” 

“Fucking let me go!” I scream, moving to escape his grasp before stopping and holding my head. Dizzy, dizzy— yeah okay, maybe I do need to see a nurse. “I can walk you know.” 

“Sure.”

“Sushi, I swear to the devil if you don’t—”

“Oh look, your going delusional. Swearing to devil and all. You really need the hospital.” 

Brat. 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t know how to end this.   
> Hope you enjoyed, even tho this is more of a filler than anything


	14. Eh, What's Up, Doc?

Quite honestly, I’m at a loss. How does one orchestrate their way into someone’s good gracious? Without, you know, seeming suspicious? Especially into the good gracious of someone who doesn’t — who _won’t_ — know who they truly are half the damn time? _And_ who doesn’t fucking acknowledge you when you blatantly scream something at them upon seeing them? 

Kabuto just won’t give me the time of day and it’s pissing me off. It’s not like I really want to manipulate him but it’s in my and everyone else’s best interest if I’m the one he trusts most. Gotta stop him from becoming a super villain at the bud. Either that or just blunt murder. I doubt Oreo-pedo-snake will find someone _half_ as good as canon Kabuto was - is -will be? Whatever. 

I see the kid everyday after training and before being dropped off. He’s technically the new nurse around here since the original isn’t back yet from wherever the hell she's been carted off to and the current ‘head nurse’ is a field medic and always off on a mission or another. Though, now that I think about it, I haven’t seen Nurse — the original — since my first mission. Huh. 

Well fuck that old bitch, she broke more bones than she healed. 

Kabuto only knows that basics however and what I’d guess is intermediate if healing had levels. He can mend bones, that’s for sure and he sure as fuck doesn’t break any. An upgrade really. 

I’ve tried starting a conversation with him over medical jutsu and medicine in general. He won’t respond verbally and he barely responds with nods or the like. He’ll listen though and always looks interested. Especially when I change the conversation to outside the Camp. 

Yes, Camp with a capital ‘C’. That’s what this place is at the most basic level and calling it headquarters is just too long and inaccurate. I’ve been to Headquarters before, in the very beginning of my...career here. HQ is where Dino resides, sitting behind his stupid desk with his stupid tea and alcohol; it’s where information is held, documents, reports, and the like; its where older Masks rest and train, so Dino can keep his most loyal closer. 

Camp, however, is the opposite. It’s exactly what it sounds like. The younger Masks, or Masks-in-training, reside here for their education/training. No important or relevant information is held here. And there’s only a single room with a desk for Dino to show up and debrief/converse with the children here. There’s also _the room_ here. This place is set up as a boot camp basically. 

Now the exact location of either isn’t something I know, not yet. But I’m better off than most here I suppose. I actually get to go outside. I get to remember my own fucking name, not that I’d forget either way. I also get to go to HQ, though that’s more because Dino thinks I can do in village missions and for me to report on my days out. 

Kabuto though, being trained on infiltration and the most competent medic, hasn’t been outside the camp as often as I. I’d give it a couple more months or even another year before he’s sent on an infiltration mission for Dino. Then he’d be more privileged than everyone in ROOT. If you discard the fact that he’s most likely to develop self-identity issues. 

I’m currently making my way to the Nurse’s Office to see Kabuto having just been let out of training. I stopped having an escort just almost a month ago when I turned five. Yup. This bitch is now five, a year away from being six and starting the academy. Little Blond, Duck, and Bunny are all still four, their birthdays being in the upcoming months. Each had a small party that I attended when they officially turned four. 

It’s how I met Duck and Princess’ mother. She’s surprisingly isn’t anything like either of her sons. She’s polite, yeah, but she’s a lot more questioning than either of them and fuck, was that just a headache. Luckily she was mostly focused on little Blond. Something about being friends with his mother if I’m remembering Canon right. She didn’t like my vulgar language but didn’t really try to stop me. I assume that Princess and Sushi told her everything, Fu-Chan too. And oh _boy_ , was he unhappy to see me in his house. He seemed most confused on little Bunny. A clan thing apparently. 

On Naruto’s birthday, there was actually a festival for the demon cat’s ‘death’. Being an intellectual, I already knew that it’d be a bad idea to take Blond out to it. But Sushi, Duck, and Bunny seemed really excited and insisted we all go. It went...well. If you ignore the fact that we had to avoid angry, weeping drunks at every fucking corner and stand when we noticed their clear hostility. Thank _fuck_ for those _actual_ ANBU put on to guard Blond. It was pathetically easy to see them however whenever I turned back to check on the drunks we passed. At least Naruto and the other two brats had fun and were distracted enough not to notice.

Now, Hinata’s birthday party was painfully _formal_. If it wasn’t for Bunny’s constant pleading to attend and little silent spats, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have even been invited. The only reason I even attended was because Dino wanted me to be on the clan’s good side and that shit. That fucker made sure I had several, _several_ formal lessons shoved down my throat in the span of two days. I’m pretty sure I’d beat a _princess_ — hell, even the Diaymo’s own fucking wife — in a test about formality. Were it not a fucking mission, I would have taken those damned tea cups and thrown them against the wall and ripped that stupid ass kimono Sasuke’s mother bought me off. I was also the _only_ one of us to attend. Naruto not attending for obvious reasons and Sasuke because he’s an Uchiha. I suppose me being a civilian helped in my invitation. 

I didn’t meet her cousin surprisingly, though I guess that can be because Hinata’s father kept a very close eye on me and would steer anyone and everyone away from talking with me. Fair, I suppose. I’m not exactly the epitome of class and it’d look bad on him to have his daughter call me a friend. 

It was one frustrating year, having to take on more in-village missions and deflecting questions portraying to my health. I can’t exactly do anything about the bags under my eyes, not without having access to any makeup to cover them up. It most certainly did not help that Sushi tried to escort me home more than once. Fortunately, at the time at least, Kizashi was back from whatever wayward mission he took and managed to settle the brat’s concern for the time. Unfortunately, Dino decided that Kizashi could be beneficial to my education. By that I mean Dino has assigned the Patrick knockoff to teach me medical jutsu and medicine in general. Somehow my very one-sided conversations with Kabuto reached him and took it as me being interested in learning. 

I’m not complaining on eventually learning medical jutsu, however, I _am_ complaining about my teacher and his method of teaching. What better way to remember the placements of certain muscles and bones that have them cut and/or broken? At least he heals everything completely at the end. He’s also surprisingly meticulous that I know how to do the same to an enemy and what to do if ever caught in such a situation - as in how to heal myself, something about not being able to effortlessly and efficiently heal others if I can’t even heal myself internally first. Odd since I assumed healing oneself internally is the hard part most can’t do, though, that would make his statement valid. Overall, he’s surprisingly...competent. Ugh. 

So now my schedule is as so: 

Days One and Two are spent in Camp. Days Three I’m set free to complete missions and come back to the house for medical lessons before returning back to camp for Days One and Two. In Camp I first have lectures of all sorts of subjects, then calligraphy, _then_ physical training which sometimes include me fighting another member or trainee. After that I see Kabuto and from there I’m either called to report to Dino or I’m escorted to the barracks to catch some six hours of sleep or less, depending on how early my trainers / Dino want me to start the next day. 

_Anyways_ , it’s a Day One so I’m in Camp for the rest of today and tomorrow before I can see anyone I tolerate. Thankfully the days almost over, I just need to see the little doctor then wait to see if I have put up with Dino or if I can blissfully sleep. 

I give a half-hearted knock before opening the door and scanning the room. Kabuto’s in the corner like always, pouring over his books and equipment, and I’m the only other occupant in the room. 

“What’s up doc?” I smirk at the slight twitch and deep sigh he gives. Perhaps the most I’ll get out of him. I’ll get him to acknowledge me one of these days. 

I make my way past the only bed in the room and sit down in the chair in the room. I’m not that injured, just some scraps here and there. I’ve stopped having broken bones just last week thanks to the medical lessons, I can now spot when someone is going to try and break a bone of mine and how to retaliate. Those lessons are useful no matter how much I hate the teacher. 

“I went to this awesome dango shop yesterday,” I begin, watching Kabuto for any sign of interest or if he’s paying attention at all. Despite not responding to me, he does listen to my stories which are just made up and lies more than half the time. It’s nice to know he still has some kid aspects in him. 

I never thought I’d say or hell, even _think_ this but...I’m making this kid my friend even if I have to chop my finger off! 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

Who knew making a friend would be so hard? Last I checked, children just shouted at each other and bada bing bada boom, instant friendship. Well, not really. I had to beat up a few people to get the friends I have now. But I can’t do that with Kabuto. The person I’d need to beat up would be Danzō! I can’t beat him up! I’m five! 

“What bullshit,” I mumble as I roll off the bed. I’m at the barracks right now, waking up for a new day of training. The barracks are pretty basic. Large rooms filled with bunk beds with their own assigned person—er, well, number actually. I’m number eighty-six, it’s my ROOT Number and Identification so obviously it’s my bed number. Thankfully I get bottom bunk or else I’d be falling down five feet every morning. 

Standing up, I look over to the only clock in the room. It’s only four in the morning. Fun. I click my tongue in irritation at waking up so early but turn to head over to the Locker Room. It’s not so much as a Locker Room as it’s a shower and dressing room in one. There aren’t even any lockers. They have cubbies. What is this? Preschool? 

I’m not the only one in the Locker Room despite it being so early. There are others inside, mostly older Masks returning from missions or getting sent on one. Every eye turns to me as I walk in but after confirming who it is, they all look away, not a second glance back. I don’t pay them any mind, quickly walking to my cubby and pulling out the fresh new black clothes inside. 

After a quick shower and pulling on the new clothes, I head over to the Nurse’s Office. I have maybe half an hour before I’m expected for training. Hopefully I can make some actual progress today with the kid. He’s already like twelve and hasn’t been sent on a mission yet but I know that won’t last long. Danzō would be insane to waste his talent in espionage. 

I don’t bother to knock and just push the door in, looking around to see if the kid was in. He is, surprisingly. I don’t share the same barracks with him — separate barracks depending on the profession a Mask Trainee, I’m in the Assassin Barracks — or training so I don’t really know the boy’s schedule except that he’s in after all of my training. Though, what’s more surprising is that he’s sitting in a corner. Kabuto, for as long as I’ve known the kid, is _never_ in the corners or sitting for that matter. 

I resist the urge to sigh because honestly, is this seriously how I make friends? Finding them in turmoil and/or trouble and beating the problem up for them? Because this is most certainly a kid in turmoil. What the fuck. 

I close the door quietly behind me and make my way over. I just kind of stand there until he looks up. It’s odd, seeing him so...well, kid-like. He’s always been blank and expressionless, never showing how he really feels, never really giving an inch. But it’s also reassuring. It means he has a chance, that _I_ have a chance of fixing the problem before it rises. 

“Who do I need to kill?” 

“Wh-What?” 

Haha! A reaction! A genuine actual reaction and response! Fuck yeah! Progress! Sure, it’s under bad circumstances but still, _progress_. 

“You’re obviously upset so, who do I need to kill?” He only looks confused. It almost makes me want to smirk. This kid isn’t gone just yet. 

However, he quickly stands up and calms his expression back to its default blank expression. I fight back the urge to groan and smack him upside the head. Now isn’t the time to revert back into a puppet! 

“Look, we can do this the easy way where you just answer me, or the hard way where I sit on you until you spill,” I intone crossing my arms. “And I _will_ do it, even if I’m sent to _the room_ later.”

“Thank you for your concern Haruno-san, but it really is nothing. I must be going now,” he replies politely while smiling.

I punch him in the face. 

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ do that again,” I sneer. “Smile like that again and I can guarantee you’ll be punched by everyone it’s directed at, not including our current known comrades.” That’s the nice and diplomatic answer. Make it seem like I’m helping him in his skills of infiltration, which wouldn’t be too much of a lie. I’m currently, as far as I know, the only ROOT member with the best social skills and can predict how civilians and the like would react to him. Though, I guess there’s that tree guy too-- 

Fuck. The _tree guy. Orochimaru. Kabuto._ I have to be on the lookout for that guy. He was put into ANBU but got swept into ROOT because you know, Danzo is an asshole, and I can’t fucking remember when Kakashi got to the kid and helped him out-- Kakashi. Motherfucking _Kakashi_. That brat was in ROOT too at one point! 

I...I don’t..I really don’t want to deal with this. I may be five physically but for fuck’s sake I’m like in my late thirties to early forties mentally and..just..no. 

_Calm_. Focus on the here and now, worry about all the trouble your very likely going to get in _later_. Right now you’re a simple ROOT agent worrying about your comrade, okay? Okay.

...I should stop the small habit of talking to myself soon. 

Anyways…

“I know you’re being trained in the art of espionage and quite frankly, whatever instructor you may have said about that smile, it is not going to help you,” I explain flatly, not telling him how his smile just really pissed me off. “It needs to be more natural, your forcing it. While not forcing it alot and keeping it small, anyone smart enough will be able to pick it up. I doubt you’ll be surrounded by idiots wherever the hell you’ll be sent to.” 

Kabuto blinks down at me slowly, processing what I just told him. He would know better than to dismiss my words. Out of everyone here, I’ve been outside the most as a _person_ , not a ninja or tool. Anyone doing any sort of infiltration would be goddamn _fool_ to not take anything up with me. And it’s not just bragging. I’ve sat through Danzo musing aloud about introducing me to that division as a semi-instructor, though he decided to have me join once I’m a bit older. I knew what he was doing though. He was showing off how much power he has over me, gauging my reaction about having my future just chosen for me without my opinion, testing the works. 

Unfortunately for him, I've been planning betrayal before I even met him. The most important thing now is to rise in the ranks quickly while simultaneously getting closer to the other members here. Though, I’d need to rise in ranks before successfully doing that. A higher standing in ROOT will let me have more information on everyone here. Information regarding when they joined to be more specific. Members joining around and even before Academy Graduation are people most loyal to Danzō while members recruited _into_ ROOT would be much more open. Or so I theorize. 

Gah, enough of that, this is the perfect opportunity to try and connect with Kabuto. Though, saying it like that makes me feel like a manipulative bitch. Bleh. 

“I see,” he murmurs, his head tilting just so that I can’t see his eyes because the light is reflecting off them. “Thank you for the advice Haruno-san, but I really must be going now.” 

“Where?” I demand lightly, curiously. 

“Excuse me?” I almost smirk. He really is smart, to know that I’m not asking where he’s walking off to right now. 

“Which village, other than Konohagakure, is your first infiltration? Where are you being sent right now?” He would have already infiltrated Konoha, being stationed here already and being in the Chunin Exams - though that was for the Snake Bastard but it still rose no suspicion so Danzō must have him already integrated into the system before Orochimaru. Gah, this guy is so hard to figure out and plan around. He’s a spy for Dino but the right hand man for Oreo-hebi becoming _his_ spy but still in cahoots with Dino and then that red head sand puppet- ugh. He’ll be exceptional alright. 

Is it wrong I want him on my side? Logically, it wouldn't be since he becomes a pretty powerful bad guy in the future. But. Manipulating a fucking child just so the future benefits me? Because no matter how I look at it, I _am_ manipulating him. Him, a child that doesn’t know any better. Him, someone that’s always been the pawn. But...without outside interference he’ll grow to become a broken and lost man following the only path he’s known. 

“You’re rather observant. As expected of Danzō-sama’s favored,” he smiles and what the fuck is he talking about ‘favored’? “However, I cannot disclosure such, apologies Haruno-san.” And then he walks out. 

I don’t stop him, knowing it’d be a lost cause. Guess I’ll have to try again the next I see him, whenever that may be, if ever. But what did he mean by ‘favored’? I mean yeah, it’s a bit suspicious how much attention I get from Dino but I wouldn’t say I’m favored. Though, if I’m not wrong, I’m the youngest to have ever joined ROOT. Ignoring that Tree character since he fucking grew up in ANBU. Besides he had someone looking out for him: Kakashi. I’m on my own here. 

Man, how depressing. 

Either way, if my age has something to do with it (since it’s a well known fact that the young are most impressionable) then it’d make a little sense. Crafting a perfect soldier from the start...but again, I wouldn’t say I’m _favored_. Gah, why’d the kid have to leave a puzzle before he left? 

Tch, I’ll think about it later. I’m going to late at this point and I don’t fancy a visit to _the room_ after being away for so long. 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

I haven’t seen Kabuto since that day. It’s been close to three weeks now. On my days ‘off’, I would check the hospital to see if he was perhaps stationed there as a cover. He wasn’t. He isn’t at Camp. He isn’t at Headquarters. He isn’t in Konoha. I’m not all that surprised, having expected him to be sent off soon. I just wish I made better progress with the kid. Well, at least I can say I tried. 

Though ever since the brat made that comment of me being ‘favored’ I’ve noticed a few things. Like the fact that I'm being trained as a jack of all trades despite being in the Assassin Barracks. I’m still very much a mini assassin just with more skills for other situations. Assassins aren’t exactly medics after all. And the other assassins in the barracks aren’t taught in the inner clogs of another village’s politics. What use is politics to a murderer? 

Oh, and the most important point I’ve noticed: I’m the only one Danzo visits. 

Yeah, apparently him dropping by for a visit whenever I’m in _the room_ for more than an hour isn’t normal. Which only brings up the question of why visit me in the first place? He could have had his men drag me, still bleeding, to him. The only answer I can think of is him trying to appeal to me - which further proves the ‘favored’ comment. 

I don’t want to be favored! Well, no, I do. Kinda? Ugh! I just wanted to be close and highly ranked enough to steal important information under his nose and have him tried for treason. I know achieving that will take many years, but I was hopeful to reach it by the time I graduated the academy. Being favored...well, it can only help me in achieving that goal. But won’t it also harm me? I’ll be doubted and deemed untrustworthy. 

There’s a ringing sound, like one might hear at school in the halls. The noise brings me out of my spiraling thoughts, making me look up. I’m in the barracks right now, having just returned from training - the instructor had me running the same obstacle course until our time together was up. I recognize the ringing as the signal for dinner. 

Camp as a designated eating area - or as I call it, Cafeteria - opened all hours of the day. There’s also a bell system to indicate when we can all eat but that’s only for lunch and dinner since each group wakes at different times and starts at different times. I never actually go to the Cafeteria, always too tired to make an effort to go or having eaten enough rations to suffice. Not really healthy but I eat as much as I can on my days ‘off’ so it lasts until the next day. 

As it is, the house isn’t stocked up on rations and Sushi refuses to let me buy more so I kinda have to go to the Cafeteria. 

I expected it to be quiet, filled with serious and stoic kids but it was surprisingly noisy. Not loud but just filled with low noise from various conversations taking place. I really shouldn’t have been surprised, this place _is_ filled with children after all. Maybe my side goal of gaining the trust of my ROOT comrades won’t be so hard after all. 

I step into the food line quietly, keeping my eyes focused on the varying foods while leaning back slightly to pick up on different conversations. Almost all of them revolve around training, not surprising since they aren’t exactly permitted to go outside. There’s the few odd conversations on normal kid stuff like favorite color and such, the question ‘why / how are you here’ is very scarce to my disappointment. Looks like I’ll just have to guess who’s from a clan and who’s an ordinary orphan. 

I step forward as the line moves, picking up a tray and silently adding to it. If I had known Dino feeds his soldiers fruits, vegetables, pasta, and meat I would have come here sooner. No wonder his men are all so fit and loyal. Hate to admit it, but Dino does somewhat take care of his people. Ugh. Doesn’t make him any less of a bastard. 

After piling up my tray with a little bit of everything, I step out of line to look for somewhere to sit. Most tables seemed to be occupied by people in the same barracks. I don’t really know anyone, my training being isolated from everyone else most, if not all, of the time. I recognize a few kids from my barracks and the occasional group training session I get to join. Ah, who to sit with? 

The silent ones near the walls or the quietly talking ones? Come off as stoic and slightly arrogant or come off as rude and arrogant? Because if Kabuto is to be believed and the tiny rumors I’ve heard true, then I am favored and some people don’t have a good impression of me for it. Also, who knew being too exhausted for social interaction would peg me as arrogant?

Sit with the stoic and try my hand at making friends with those most socially inept or -- wait a moment. The ones sitting all by their lonesome all look like they’re from a clan. The ones talking seem more like ordinary orphans. Hmmm, let’s think of the situation like this: who would be more hard pressed to follow me if I took over ROOT? 

The orphans probably see Dino as a savior of sorts. The clan kids though…

I casually make my way over to sit with all the quiet children, offering a small soft smile to those around me as I sit down. I fight off a grimace and the sick feeling in my gut. The orphans are always pushed to the side and holy fuck, I really am a manipulative bitch. I quickly stuff food in my mouth so no one can see my smile turn bitter. 

After effectively stuffing my face, I look up and observe the children around me through pink bangs. My hair has grown a bit, enough so my bangs effectively cover my eyes when pulled in front. Sushi has been trying to get me to pull them back or cut them but I’ve adamantly refused. Bangs have their uses dammit! He’s just jealous, I swear. 

Pushing the annoying memory of one Uchiha Chunin trying to get me get a haircut away, I catalog everything I know and learn about my peers as I finish off my tray. So far, I’ve observed three maybe-Yamanaka, four maybe-Inuzuka, one maybe-Nara, one maybe-Uchiha (surprisingly. I didn’t think Danzō would actually have any under his thumb. Wait does that mean there were more than just three living Uchiha in Canon? Fuck), and one most definite Hyūga (the eyes are a give away. I’m a bit surprised though that Dino managed to get one of them, they do have almost 360 vision). I haven’t spotted any maybe-Akimichi but I could guess why Danzō wouldn’t want one as one of his soldiers, needing to maintain their weight could and would be a problem. I also don’t see anyone that could maybe be a Aburame, then again that clan is known for the way they dress so trying to pick one from the crop of kids here would be difficult if one doesn’t know their physical features - which I don’t. But didn’t Dino have one anyway? Someone close to the heir too, if I’m remembering right. 

I should probably write all I know down so I don’t forget but honestly, I’m too paranoid for that. 

Hm, now to put what little social skills I have to use. 

“Ah, excuse me? Are you going to eat that?” 

Food makes friends, right?

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i've actually made several friends like this so...)
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR - to friends old and new!


	15. Hide N Seek? More like Dodgeball

The past year has been...tough, to say the least. My training has increased, both physically and chakra-wise. It’s not much, just the opening of all my tenketsu. It’s extremely difficult and painful. It’s like trying to knock out just one specific brick in a brick wall. I’ve only opened 50 out of all 361 points. My control is pretty good, surprisingly. I wasn’t expecting to retain that from canon-Sakura. In lieu of this though, Dino wants to start me on a genjutsu-medic path. 

I’m not particular on what path I go into. I just want to be a somewhat jack of all trades. Though I’ve hinted at prioritising speed and flexibility, especially in my spars. I don’t think of myself as a front liner. But I want to be able to stand on my own if it comes to that. I know for sure that canon Team Seven was a front line team. They were heavy hitters. 

Dino probably already thought of this since my taijutsu training has increased. As in much more spars and fighting with those much older and skilled than I. He’s also added kenjutsu to my training but I think that’s more mandatory than anything. Everyone knows that ANBU always has swords and at least knows how to use them. 

Also, I don’t think I have the imagination needed for genjutsu. I guess I could always use what I know from being Anna but well...yeah, creative I am not. Right now I’m just learning the theory behind it all and how to recognize one. Once my chakra training increases, I’m sure it’ll move on to dispelling them and making them. As well as masking my presence. I'm already somewhat starting on that. 

Stealth training is the _worst_. I _hate_ it. I’ll be taught several different ways of hiding and suddenly I’m just expected to know how to do that shit! And if I get it wrong or not to their satisfaction then I have to start running away from the kunai flying at me. Like what the fuck! What’s worse is that I’m tested during my days out too. I’ll be ordered to initiate a game of hide n seek and my watcher for the day will test me on how well I hide. If it’s not good enough then I get grazed with shuriken. I hate how good a motivator it is! I can't always pull excuses out of my ass on why I’m scratched up. Especially not in front of the Uchiha’s two geniuses. 

Shisui has already been on my case several times before but now Itachi is in on it too. Worse still is that some-fucking-how Mikoto was pulled into this shit! Thankfully she just sees me as a child that’s a little independent since their only parent isn’t always around. Thinks I’m prideful or some wack shit like that. 

As it is, I’ve gotten pretty good at hiding and have taken into teaching the three little brats, especially Naruto since he needs it the most. They think it’s all just good fun, that I’m just telling them my secret to being a good hider. I don’t bother correcting them nor do I acknowledge Sushi’s questioning, curious gaze. 

I’ve also been ordered to better my ties with the civilians which I quite frankly find confusing. I can only guess that it’s to improve my acting. I’m not a nice person. I know this. I can be an asshole most of the time, I _am_ an asshole most of the time. But I’m also one of the few with the most experience dealing with people and showing emotion. Or it could just be that Dino wants me to be able gather intel from unknowing civilians. I honestly don’t know and it’s fucking frustrating. 

Either way, to a good handful of civilians I’m known as the sweet, happy, adorable, always-glad-to-help, pink-haired little girl. To the little brats I’m known as their brave, bad-mouth, good natured friend. To Danzō I’m the lost, cautiously trusting asset. 

If this keeps up, I might just have a mask for every new set of people I meet. I can kind of see how the Little Doctor went mad and lost himself. Though, unlike him, I always have something to fall back on: Anna. 

But these are depressing thoughts and I’m not particularly feeling down or depressed tonight. No, just annoyed and very angry. 

I had just gotten back to the house after a long day of playing and lying ( _I still have a limp from the previous day’s training but no ready excuse to my various twitching_ ). Only to find Kizashi on his way out for a mission. I straightened defiantly under his steely gaze. 

“You’re free for tonight,” he had sneered quietly. “Danzō-sama has an important meeting and doesn’t have time to babysit.” 

I narrowed my eyes but let him walk past me silently. It was only once he was out of sight that I looked to where I knew my watcher was. I rose in brow in question and not a moment later they appeared in the tree for me to see. They nodded in verification before disappearing again. Bastard. 

I nodded to show I understood but stayed standing in front of the house. It wasn’t like I could go back to Camp. The watcher would have already taken me if that was so. And I don’t exactly have a room in the house, just the basement. Nothing for me to do there. So I took to exploring Konoha to get a better layout of the place. It was only sunset, so people were still milling about. 

I waved and smiled at civilians I knew and others I didn’t. I pickpocketed when I could. I asked for directions to various places I know exist ( _the Academy, the Cemetery, the Yamanaka Flower Shop, the Akimichi restaurants, etc._ ). I made sure to steer clear of any shinobi I saw and recognized. It wouldn’t do to get caught by the more experienced ninjas. 

I was walking by the park when I had gotten the feeling of deja vu. I turned to look, confused and wary. There were only families leaving the park so I took to the shadows and made my way in. My gut fell with dread and I stiffened. I always trust my gut instinct. 

I wrapped my arms around myself, bringing my hands closer to the knives strapped at my hip. Hunching my shoulders slightly, I glanced around. Turning my head this way and that, I widened my eyes, shivering. I wonder how my watcher is taking my performance of a scared, lost child. 

I pushed my way past some bushes, noting it’s the clearing that the brats and I always play in. It’s close to the park but far enough that the brats’ laughter can’t be heard and we wouldn’t be disturbed. I stopped to look around more, the sense of dread growing. What could possibly set my mock spidey-senses off? 

There’s a sound, behind some bushes across the clearing, suspiciously sounding like a sniffle and hiccup. I nearly groan in dismay. Don’t get me wrong, I like helping children - really! But come on! Why is it that every child I come across is in distress of some sort!? Honestly, at this rate I’ll have an army of children by the time I enter the academy. Well, if I do have an army of children, then at the very least I can make sure they turn out to be competent shinobi. Or is that not morally okay? Would it be wrong to raise a tiny army? But I mean isn’t that what the village is doing already? 

I shook my head, filing away the thoughts of a tiny army for another time. I straightened a little, hands still near my knives, as I carefully pushed my way through the bushes. And to my surprise, there sat a familiar little blonde. I took a moment to look around before making my way over. 

“Little Blonde?” I called softly in confusion. 

His head snapped up in surprise before turning away to wipe away his tears and snot. I took that moment to walk closer and sit next to him. He stopped crying but couldn’t get rid of his hiccups. I grabbed his hand in mine as I waited for him to calm down. Naruto is a very physical child, which is understandable since he doesn’t get a lot of physical affection. I always indulge him when he wants a hug, Hinata does as well since she's the same. Sasuke does so reluctantly after I had to explain to him why Naruto always asks for hugs. That was one tedious explanation because I’m not supposed to know about his neglect and abuse. 

He clinged to my hand tightly as his breathing evened out and his hiccups slowed. Then he looked up at me again, “S..Sakura?”

“Hi,” I murmured. “Wanna talk about it?”

He was silent for a moment. “Got kicked out,” he whispered, looking and sounding scared. I pulled him into a hug.

And that brings us to now, _that_ is why I am annoyed and beyond angry. I always knew -- I _know_ that canon Naruto had his own apartment but I never thought it was because the fucking orphanage kicked him out. Those motherfucking, piece of shit, should rot in hell, bastards! Screw them and their family! 

Fuck, what am I supposed to do? I am not letting Naruto stay in the streets and I am _not_ waiting for Hiruzen to realize Little Blonde isn’t in the orphanage. I would drag him to my place but I don’t know when Kizashi is supposed to return and there isn’t a guest room, just my nursery and his room and the basement, but that’s bloodied. I could drag him to the Tower and demand that Naruto be given living accodemnations, but I’m not in the mood to argue with the Old Monkey. 

It was getting darker and colder despite it being the month of June. The Academy is to start in the next few months, it’ll be the class of the clan heirs and little ol’ me. 

I sigh at the turn of my thoughts, looking down at the silently distressed blonde in my arms. We could always make our way over to Sasuke’s. I’m sure Mikoto would be more than happy to take Naruto in. There’s no way I would be able to stay, not with me basically being at Dino’s beck and call. 

“Want to go see if Mikoto will allow a sleepover?” I softly ask since I can’t really make him do anything. “We can always go see the Old Monkey about getting you your own place.” Best to lay out his options, wouldn’t want to make him feel trapped. 

He shifts but doesn't look up or speak. I let him stay quiet, simply patting his head in comfort. It seems we’re going to be here for a while. At least he’s wearing a jacket and pants, instead of his usual green shorts. I look up, searching for my watcher. He appears across the clearing, in the tree. I almost don’t notice him which I suppose is the point. I’m always forgetting that Little Blonde has his own watchers. My watcher’s movements are quick and as soon as he finishes, he’s gone.

Three hours. That’s how long he told me I had. I hold back a sigh, instead look through the trees before staring at the darkening sky. Won’t be long till it’s completely dark out. 

“When the sun shine, we shine together,” I whisper absentmindedly under my breath. It’s oddly fitting of the situation, if I really think about it. But I won’t. “Told you I’ll be here forever,” I continue, trying to remember the words and work the tune. “Said I’ll always be your friend,” I look down to see Naruto curiously looking up at me, eyes red-rimmed. Huh, he was crying again, I didn’t even notice.

“Took an oath, I’ma stick it out to the end,” I offer him a smile, idly taking note of the tension slowly bleeding out of him. “Now that it’s raining more than ever,” I poke him teasingly, eliciting a giggle from him even as he looks confused. “Know that we’ll still have each other.” 

He grins up at me, eyes tearing up again. I almost don’t catch him when he tackles me in a hug. I fall back, wincing lightly as I remember I still have bruises. Naruto is crying into my shoulder, his hold on my shirt tight. I blink up at the night sky, carefully patting him on the back in comfort.

“So,” I whisper once Little Blonde calms down, “Sleepover with the Uchihas?” He nods but doesn’t move to let go or get up. 

This is going to be a long night. 

****

ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

****

****  


We eventually got up ten minutes later. I take the lead, moving through the shadows and blind spots, with Naruto clinging to my hand and shirt behind me. Glancing back, he has his head down, shifting away when someone gets too close. I hold back a sigh and squeeze his hand in mine reassuringly.

I take this moment to pickpocket various people we pass. I only take what I can, never too much from one person. It baffles me slightly, how easy it is to steal from these people. You would think that by living in a ninja village they would...I don’t know...be better at protecting against theft. It grates on my nerves, how well things are. There hasn’t been a fuck up since .. well, yesterday actually. Huh. It feels too long. 

Finally pulling up towards the Uchiha Compound ( _this place is like across the village, it’s really fucking far!_ ), I tug the two of us to the shade, out of the compound gate guard’s view. I turn to Little Blonde, shifting my free hand through my pant’s pockets. If there’s any good thing about Dino and his band wagon, it’s that the … uniform ( _can it be called that? Everyone does wear the same thing after all_ ) has pockets - not the knuckle deep bullshit from Before with Anna, but the type of pockets men would have. 

With my free hand, I grab around at the various things I stole and pull it out. Without warning or preamble, I stuff it all in Naruto’s pockets. He shouts in slight surprise, not having paid attention. He doesn’t move to stop me though, much too confused from the look on his face. 

“My gift,” I say as I place the last of my stolen goods in his pockets, “from me to you.” 

He blinks, bewildered. I turn back around and pull us towards the gate before he can say anything. The guard notices us immediately, raising an indifferent brow at us. I raise one right back. I don’t stop my stride or break eye contact. 

“Visiting a friend, won't take long,” I wave, walking right past him. He twitches slightly, and I can see him turn to look, or grab, us. I don’t take the risk, quickly taking off and pulling Naruto with me. 

“Hey!” I hear him shout behind me. 

“Sakura?!” Naruto shouts surprised but begins running with me. 

Glancing back, I can see the guard start to give chase. Which is just rude, we’re only going to visit Little Duck. But whatever, I can play another round of Hide n Seek today. 

“Hey, Little Blonde,” I say, dodging several people walking. “Let’s play a game, what do you say?”

“Game?” He questions, jerking away from someone in the way. 

“Race ya’ to Little Duck’s. And whoever gets caught loses,” I answer, pulling him out the way of someone else. “Ready!”

“Wait!”

“Set! Go!” I scream, pulling him forward and pushing him in front of me. He stumbles, but doesn’t question it and takes off as soon as I let go of his hand. Good. 

I grin, twisting around to look for our pursuer. He’s on the rooftops which is totally unfair. I call foul play! 

“Hey! Dumb fuck!” I shout, waving my arm to catch his attention. His head snaps towards me, away from looking in Naruto’s direction. He snarls. I flip him off, sticking my tongue out at him like the adult I secretly am inside. “Can’t catch me you little shit!” 

I don’t wait to see his reaction. Instead I turn and shoot down the road, opposite to where Naruto ran off. This was supposed to be a day off but I’d sooner become an angel than let some random asshole make Naruto’s day even worse. On the bright side, this is great training. Who doesn’t want to learn how to run with a limp? What fun! 

Who knows, maybe if I do well then my Watcher can tell Dino and I can get a _real_ day off. I doubt it, but it’s nice to imagine. 

I skid around a corner, stumbling just slightly as I twist to get out of the way of the old man I almost run into. He shouts but I don’t hear it, too busy thinking of my next move. Which becomes pointless pretty quickly as the gate guard lands in front of me. 

“Motherfuck!” I grunt, skidding to a stop just a few feet away from him. I grit my teeth as my leg twists, making my limp even worse. Fucking wonderful. “It’s not nice to surprise a lady, you know?”

“Brat. You’re coming with me,” he states, glaring at me. 

“It’s also not nice to ignore a lady,” I sneer quietly, straightening up. I quickly eye our surroundings, taking in the amount of people watching and whispering. 

“Why’d you chase me?” I ask, pulling a confused and wary face. I’m six, sue me. 

“You ran,” he responds like I’m an idiot. 

“Yeah because you were chasing me,” I huff, looking at him incredulously. “I mean, if some stranger started running towards you, wouldn’t you run too?” 

He sneers, not bothering to respond and walks up to me. He grabs me by my arm, pulling me along with him. 

“Hey! Let go! What the hell!” I scream, frustrated. This is _not_ a nice day. Not at all. No siree. 

“Sakura-chan?” 

I twitch, mouth clamping shut your bite my tongue and stop myself from screaming profanities. I turn my head to see Mikoto standing just a bit down the road. Her brows are furrowed in confusion, eyes flickering between me and the guard. She walks closer and I can see a bag hanging from her arm. Must have been shopping then. Behind her, Little Duck and Little Blonde peek over. 

They wave. 

The _nerve_ of them. 

I’ve taught them well so far. 

Mikoto makes her way over quickly, turning to talk to the guard. I tune the conversation out, much too tired to really pay attention. I’ll need to be leaving soon. The walk from the park to here took a lot out of my three hour time limit. 

I blink when my arm is let go. Looking up, Mikoto is looking at me in exasperation which is odd because I’ve only known this woman for about two years...damn, has it really been that long? 

“What are you two doing here, Sakura-chan, Naruto-kun?” She asks, Sasuke nodding along with her, looking at us in confusion. Naruto looks sheepish while my eye twitches.

“Sorry for the trouble,” I begin with a sigh. “Just came to drop Little Blonde off for his sleepover with Little Duck.” Sasuke rolls his eyes at his nickname but quickly scrunches his nose in confusion. 

“Sleepover? Sasuke-kun, you didn’t tell me you were having a sleepover,” she says, surprised and only slightly disappointed. 

“I didn’t know!” He quickly defends himself. I’ll need to talk to the brats about lying soon. 

“I can explain,” I quickly cut in, seeing her expression. Her brow rises as she waits. I look over to Naruto, silently asking if I could tell her. He shifts but doesn’t try to stop me. 

“Naruto needs somewhere to stay tonight. He got locked out,” I lie simply. 

She narrows her eyes, probably seeing through my lie which is fair because she’s an adult and is more than aware of Naruto’s treatment from the village. She doesn’t call me out on my bullshit though and gladly takes Naruto in. She turns to me, probably going to ask if I’ll be staying. 

“I gotta go,” I say plainly, “Kizashi has a mission so I need to be at the house before dark.” 

She accepts my excuse, waving me off. I shout my goodbyes, quickly running off. It’s kinda disappointing how easy that was. But whatever, I don’t even know what I was expecting. And even if she did see through my lie, it’s not she can do much about it. 

“Shit,” I curse, taking in the position of the sun. I don’t think I’ll make it back in time. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

Well, I was due for a fuck up anyways. 

Wonder if Dino will even get today’s report since he has some “important meeting”. Which I should probably be more concerned about. Damn. 

Shit really isn’t going my way today, is it? 

****

**ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter took a while. It’s pretty bad but I was rushing it since the next chapter is the Academy!!! I’m excited for that. 
> 
> Any suggestions on what sort of fuckery Sakura will get into on the first day?


End file.
